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Everything posted by mcnugget

  1. A lot of wisdom in this thread, thank you. This weekend, he has gotten us a cabin out of town for Valentine's Day. It was important to me to have some quality romantic time and he listened. I would like to see how productive that time is before I make any big decisions. He is an introvert with quite a lot of issues, but he does seem to want to try to make things work. We enjoy our time together and have a lot in common as far as interests and viewpoints. It's unfortunate that he's so stunted. He says that he has the emotional range of a turnip. It's sad, his brother is nearly fo
  2. I know that there are a lot of red flags here, I see them. Unfortunately, I love him. I would like to work on things, if it's possible. I have never been able to speak to anyone so openly or trust anyone so much. Even with our issues and my past (I've been cheated on), I trust him. Cheating is not his character. He seems really torn up and conflicted about his own issues. He tends to get very stuck inside his head. He's told me that he hasn't even been able to masturbate for weeks after past breakups. He can't enjoy sex if he's stressed. On the other hand, I need sex to relieve stress.
  3. My boyfriend and I have been together for over a year and a half. He’s in his early forties and I’m in my early thirties. I’m his first long-term stable relationship. He has a history of substance abuse, but has been sober for over five years. He’s a successful professional, but lives at home. I also live with my family. Neither of us want to spend the crazy amount it costs to rent here and I’m not sure we’re ready to get married and buy a house together. We have been quarantined together for the better part of a year, spending most of our time at his parent’s house. He got out of a BDSM
  4. Not that it matters at this point, but you just really don't seem to be understanding what I'm saying about the date order or the tax record. It took a bit to go from the first date to the second date due to travel issues. Went on second date. Less than a week later went on third date. Between the second and the third date came across the house he had been showing me for about 2 months. I am looking to buy my own house in the same area and the house was being suggested to me to go look at so it was obviously not sold yet. I asked him about it on the third date and told him how I came across
  5. The home story is definitely an issue. It was a very detailed ongoing lie. That's a HUGE problem! Lying so easily is major. I came across the house. I talked to him and he gave me a whole new convoluted story. I looked up the tax records to verify the ownership of the house because I clearly don't trust the guy anymore. The ex-wife thing I am less worried about. He obviously lies unnecessarily and can't keep track of his lies. I would expect him to be in contact with the mother of his 3 children.
  6. It's really easy to look at the tax/sales records for a real estate transaction. He had given me several detailed stories. Why wouldn't I verify with a man I've met online? He said, "I saw a house on Sunday and put an offer down on the spot." Then he continued the lie for over a month. Sent pictures and gave me a move in date. It's really a house his dad (probably) owns and is trying to sell. Who knows if he was ever going to move in. I had done some basic research on him before meeting because that's just practical. However, this was just given to me. It popped up on my real estate search
  7. He made up a whole story about being in the process of buying a house. Gave me the move in date and address and everything. Said that he was happy to have bought a house where he could settle for years to come blah blah blah. I'm currently in the process of looking at houses in the same area. The house was suggested to me on a real estate site and showed up as still for sale with an open house scheduled. I asked him if something had gone wrong with his offer or inspection. That's when he told me that he actually already owned the house and was flipping it. That it was actually his dad who owns
  8. We did go on that third date. It was a cute sushi picnic in the park at sunset. We did go back to his place and watched that show we both enjoy and we just cuddled then I went home. The next night he invited me to get together again, but I took too long to respond and he was out to dinner with his son. He said we could still get together after, but I didn't want to do something late at night. Then he had to take his daughter to an out of town dance competition over the weekend. We talked a bit about getting together when he got back in town, but then I got caught up in a family emergency and I
  9. We had a couple of dates that fell through because he ran too late at work. Where it just got late at night and I pulled the trigger and would just make the call that it wasn't going to happen. We would try to reschedule and we would run into travel issue after travel issue. He has his kids on weekends a lot so it just didn't work out even when we were both in town. He claims he hasn't dated anyone else since we met, but I have so it really doesn't matter. He says he is really out of practice because he hasn't dated since his last relationship ended a year ago. He has a very cute date
  10. We did go on that second date last week and it was pretty great. We have another date planned for tonight and we've continued to text daily. He's pretty adorable about everything. I don't know if he's really just out of practice dating (as he claims) or a total player, but I'm having fun right now. I'm a crazy planner and he's not at all. We'll see if we can meet in the middle somewhere.
  11. In the time since our first date we've attempted to go out and we've had to cancel due to work. I've travelled twice and he's travelled once. We are trying for a second date this week (a month after our first). Fingers crossed that it will happen this week! The communication isn't as heavy as it was right before we met, but we've been in consistent communication for over a month and a half now.
  12. I'm certainly not trying to lead with sex. There was obvious physical chemistry, but we never touched inappropriately or went past kissing and I didn't go home with him. I don't have sex outside of relationships, but that doesn't mean I can't kiss a little. Sex is a normal thing for attracted adults to want, but each person has their own comfort level and pace when it comes to a new partner. This guy was never vulgar. I don't usually meet up late and I generally only have one drink. The date got pushed from the night before because of work. It got pushed to later in the evening due to his
  13. I don't know what changed in the last couple of days. Maybe he started talking to someone new? He was was enthusiastic in the day after our date, but seeing me clearly isn't a priority for him. I agree that people make time for people when they want to. Disappointing since I haven't really had much interest in dating since my last relationship ended. I'm pretty happy being single, but my friends pretty much forced me to try online dating and he was the only person to catch my eye. I guess at least nice to know I'm still capable of romantic feelings. I'm a big girl; I'll get over it.
  14. It's frustrating, but I don't know that I'll know. He has 3 kids and a new company. I travel and work/volunteer quite a bit. We're both busy people, but claim we'll make time for the right partner. I think we both had high hopes. It's been 6 days since the first date and things definitely changed from how they were pre-date. No second date even though he mentioned it several times on the date and hinted at it quite a bit after the date. It's possible that I'll still get some text from him trying to set up some last minute weekend dinner or hangout, but I'm not counting on it. I know he has pla
  15. That's correct, he did only suggest once that I was welcome to come back to his house after the date. I declined. He said he only meant to watch the show we both watch before bed. It was obvious to both of us that he wanted more, but he didn't push. Then he offered to drive me home, but it wasn't in a pervy way. I said I would just grab a car and he was polite enough to wait with me and walk me to the car. He really wasn't being a creep. He said the next date would be a real meal. The next day he texted. He asked what I was doing that evening. I took a bit to respond and then he said his fr
  16. Honestly, he wasn't pushing me to drink. It was my poor judgement and I'm old enough to know better and embarrassed. I was enjoying being with him so I ordered a third drink. He teased that it would be putting me over my drink limit. I certainly wasn't doing shots. I was sipping one drink an hour with water in-between. The reason I'm only free Friday night is because I work and I volunteer after work and have meetings every night during the week. His daughter has an out of area sporting event this weekend. He's going to drive to her event each day, but isn't staying overnight at her event
  17. I want to date. He has also said that he's looking for a partner. We talked about whether he would be open to more kids and things like that. To be fair, he did ask for a menu and said I could order whatever I wanted. It was pretty late by then and it was just late night small bites by then so it really wasn't anything of substance. I don't actually think he was trying to be skeezy. That might be where things went, but I don't think that was the intention. I'm sure he easily spent a good $100-150 on the evening since it was an expensive bar and I was ordering nice cocktails that I could si
  18. I don't think so, but of course I could never rule it out. He went to the bar to get our drinks. I stayed seated. I am very small and he is very large. I took a taxi there because the place we went is only an exit from my house and parking is $25, but also because of my size I know I really shouldn't drive after more than one drink. He waited with me for my taxi back and said he was going to pay and maybe grab one more drink before heading out. He said he would likely leave his car too, but it seemed like he was probably going to drive as I know he had an early morning with his kid and he seem
  19. He didn't use the word netflix, but instead used a TV show we both watch before bed. It doesn't matter though we all know the meaning. The date was later in the evening because he had to go to one of his kid's events first. I was tired and nervous and thirsty. We kept extending the date because we were having a nice time, but the drinks weren't hitting him the same way since he is more than a foot taller and double my weight. I would love a do-over date without alcohol. I don't usually drink or if I do it's very little. He said when I was leaving that our next date would be real dinner
  20. He definitely wanted sex. I wanted sex. There was a lot of chemistry and things got a little physical at the bar. I really can't blame it all on him as I was at least an equal participant and might have even touched his hand first. It never went past kissing and a bit of cuddling and then I said I should call it a night. I ended the evening mostly because I wanted to jump his bones and I knew that was a bad idea. I don't actually think his original intention was to make it all about sex even his follow up texts have involved him sending me pictures of his kids.
  21. I have been texting with a man I met online for a few weeks now. It took us nearly 2 weeks to meet up for a first date since I was traveling and he has kids. We live only a few freeway exits from each other, but both have fairly busy schedules. We have texted daily. Before we went on our first date he said that unless I hated him we should get together again later that weekend. I'm not quite sure how the first date went. I wasn't quite myself as I was more nervous than usual and honestly I probably could have made a better impression. We went to a bar, it was fairly late, and I'm small. I
  22. My best friend thinks I should text him today just to keep a flow of communication going... thoughts? I really have an enormous crush on him. He has a lot of the qualities that I valued in my ex. They have the same profession, common friends, and many of the same hobbies.
  23. I will definitely keep it casual. I haven't rushed to respond to his texts (sometimes taking a day to respond) and just assumed we weren't on for Saturday until I heard from him. There is a good possibility that he has no interest in me and I don't want to make it weird since we know a lot of the same people. I will probably text him at Thanksgiving and go from there. I don't mind initiating things some with an awkward guy, but I don't want to be chasing someone who doesn't have an interest.
  24. We didn't talk about relationships at all. We're Facebook friends and if he viewed my profile he would see a ton of photos of me with my ex. The photos of my ex end a couple of months ago and then it is just photos of me with friends, family, work, etc.
  25. You might be entirely right. It was Saturday evening drinks and our conversation was rather flirty. I said I hadn't been to a particular place to skate at Christmas time and he said he would have to take me. We talked about his facial hair; I said I liked it and he said he had planned on getting rid of it, but he would keep it. There was talk of going to an amusement park and he did impressions of being extra manly. We never really established if it was a date or just old friends catching up. We didn't talk about dating sites or any of that, but we spent hours talking about politics and common
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