Age Difference Dilema in Dating

[StillConfused7]

Hey all, I need some advice.

 

So, thanks to the internet and some mutual friends, I'm actually on the verge of dating someone. The thing is, I just turned 21, and she turns 17 next month. We live quite a distance from each other (she's in Michigan, I'm in Oklahoma), and we have agreed that we would both like to date/be with each other, and that we will wait however long it takes to see each other. Basically, have the relationship, but not force a meetup terribly soon, since I'm a broke college student, and she's a high schooler.

 

So, my question is, should I go with it? My heart says yes, but I keep getting mixed opinions from others. Sexual relations aside due to distance, what are peoples' thoughts on here? I've never been in this kind of situation before, and the mixed statements from my peers is throwing me off.

 

On the one hand, my parents met when my mom was 20 and my dad was 33, and were together for nearly 40 years. They had a lot more of an age difference than this girl and I do, but I guess the big factor that's causing those opinions is the age of consent thing. That aside (again, massive distance kinda inhibits any sexual activity), what do you all think? My rule of thumb has always been 5 years either way from my age, but I would like advice from others outside my social circle.

 

Like I said, she and I basically agreed to commit to each other, despite the distance, so it's the age that keeps messing with people.

 

Any advice helps!

[abitbroken]

A 4 year difference is no biggie after you are 22, but because she is a minor and is long distance this is a no go for you. If you both were legal adults with independent income and your own transportation - you would be more free. If you were a high school student at her school and were 19 because of when your birth month fell when you entered kindergarten and she was 17 - different story.

 

Your mom was a legal adult when she met your dad, so there really isn't a comparison here -- and they probably lived in the same town.

 

Forget about high school girls. Work on finishing your education and when you are not a broke college student and have some more money to travel, you will have more choices. What about dating someone from class?

[melancholy123]

The odds of this working out for you and her are not great and the distance is the biggest problem you have. It's not realistic to expect a 16 yr old girl to put her dating life on hold for you when she's barely getting started with dating. You both would be better off finding people who live near you that you can see face to face and have a relationship with, hang out with, do things with. I'm not trying to burst your balloon but I dont see this working given both of your ages and circumstances.

[Wiseman2]

Sometimes the police stage sting operations looking for predators posing as underage girls. You need shut this down asap.

 

Date local girls you can meet in person who are over 18.

I just turned 21, and she turns 17 next month. We live quite a distance from each other she's in Michigan, I'm in Oklahoma.

[Rezie]

That age different is nothing. In here the age of concent is 16. But if there it is 18 then I wpuld wait. I'm in long distance relationship which is working ok. But we can meet up every month and we first met in person. Going for a relationship where you don't know when you can meet up is always risky. Can you just keep talking and once you get to meet then dicuss a potential relationship?