alabamadan Posted February 28, 2017 Share Posted February 28, 2017 My ex broke up with me on Saturday after 2 months of a lovely relationship I was too harsh while arguing and pushed many of his buttons on Friday He started by saying that he decided to break up with me on the way to my place, but then it was difficult to do so after he saw me. I told him I can’t be with someone who is indifferent about being with me. He is said he doesn’t want a committed relationship. At night we were supposed to have dinner (initial plan before the breakup). I invited him over saying we need a better break up. When he came I told him I respect his decision, I would rather him be happy and we are friends. We had a good time, hugged, flirted about our past sexual interactions but nothing more. Sunday he texted me to say thank you. We texted back and forth about our day with many laughter. On Monday I usually text him before and after his game. I didn’t contact him I wanted him to miss me. But he texted me he likes my whatsapp profile photo choice, always like that look in my eyes. I had mentioned to him I was at a dinner with a friend wearing high heels. He jokingly asked if that dinner was with a guy. I didn’t respond. He said he missed hearing a word I use a lot.etc… it was fun, full of laughter.I felt like he is missing me. Is he just lonely? We were texting and talking every day before the breakup. I know he is active on tinder right now. I am scared of being replaced. He is a great catch. I am thinking of texting him on my way home tonight (Tuesday) saying that I am driving by and if I can stop by his place to chat as I am not in a good mood and drop off his stuff.He loves fixing my mood.I am planning to look really good. I don’t know what to say to him but I just want see how he will look into my eyes and if there is any chance there. What do you think? Link to comment
reinventmyself Posted February 28, 2017 Share Posted February 28, 2017 Give him the gift of missing you. Honestly, I don't understand arguing too much and pushing his buttons 2 months in. People are typically still on their best behavior. He's probably afraid of what 2 years looks like. Not to be harsh . . but if you two were going at it so early on, I'd consider this a mismatch. Link to comment
Wiseman2 Posted February 28, 2017 Share Posted February 28, 2017 Sorry this happened. What did he mean by "didn't want a committed relationship"? Exclusive dating? It doesn't sound like you broke up at all but rather are just continuing with casual flirty dating, perhaps now downgraded to fwb or hookups. It's odd that you wanted more commitment but now know he's on tinder and are still offering to go to his and let him 'fix your mood'?.My ex broke up with me on Saturday after 2 months of a lovely relationship. He is said he doesn’t want a committed relationship. I know he is active on tinder right now. I am thinking of texting him on my way home tonight saying that I am driving by and if I can stop by his place to chat as I am not in a good mood and drop off his stuff.He loves fixing my mood.I am planning to look really good. I don’t know what to say to him but I just want see how he will look into my eyes and if there is any chance there. What do you think? Link to comment
JaggerJim Posted February 28, 2017 Share Posted February 28, 2017 I wouldn't text him, I'd just continue driving straight home! Link to comment
J Miracle Posted March 1, 2017 Share Posted March 1, 2017 Your pushing buttons 2 months in, chasing a guy who rejected you, trying to leave him in suspense when he asks about other guys (sounds like you manipulated that inquiry out of him), hatching plans to seduce him, keeping tabs on his social media.. I would probably slow things down too. Sounds fun but exhausting. Link to comment
alabamadan Posted March 1, 2017 Author Share Posted March 1, 2017 By committed relationship he means he doesn't want to tag along a wife or a girlfriend with him when he gets relocated. His job is not a stable job and he doesn't want to give it up for a family. We were exclusive. It got too intense in too little time I think. He got scared and wasn't expecting this kind of a relationship. No fwb or hookups yet. I doubt we would go there. We are very careful not to have a gray area. Link to comment
Wolfshook Posted March 1, 2017 Share Posted March 1, 2017 If things go bad after only 2 months, imagine how they will be 2 years down the road. Link to comment
angrythoughts Posted March 1, 2017 Share Posted March 1, 2017 Give it some more time before offering to see him. It shows you're still interested. Let him do the chasing if he wants you back. Link to comment
MissCanuck Posted March 1, 2017 Share Posted March 1, 2017 By committed relationship he means he doesn't want to tag along a wife or a girlfriend with him when he gets relocated. His job is not a stable job and he doesn't want to give it up for a family. We were exclusive. It got too intense in too little time I think. He got scared and wasn't expecting this kind of a relationship. No fwb or hookups yet. I doubt we would go there. We are very careful not to have a gray area. Girl, you are headed straight for that gray area! The truth is that he's already gone. He told you he doesn't want a commitment, and he's looking around already on Tinder. There's no point stressing about being "replaced" because he already moved you directly out of the Girlfriend Zone. All you're accomplishing by being flirty and suggestive with him is giving him signals that no strings-sex is a-ok for you. He's testing those waters, and so far, you're going along with it. What will happen is that you'll sleep together again, but he won't call the next day. He won't ask you for a date. He will probably have sex with a Tinder date. And then he'll say he doesn't owe you anything because he did in fact tell you he doesn't want a committed relationship. And you'll be hurt all over again. I'm old enough to have seen this many times, and have done so myself in my younger and less-wise years. It won't work. Not the way you want it to, anyway. Link to comment
alabamadan Posted March 2, 2017 Author Share Posted March 2, 2017 Thank you so much for your opinion. I truly appreciate it. You made me think because I thought 'I don't want a committed relationship' was his 'It's not you it's me". I am not doing anything, waiting for him to act before I do. He still keeps texting me wants to hear about my life and shares about his. Makes cute remarks about our memories. We are talking about a guy who went to see a movie at the same time with me when we were 5000 miles away and got excited about that date. Is there no chance of being a girlfriend again? Is no strings attached sex all he wants from me? Am I being naive? Link to comment
abitbroken Posted March 2, 2017 Share Posted March 2, 2017 Thank you so much for your opinion. I truly appreciate it. You made me think because I thought 'I don't want a committed relationship' was his 'It's not you it's me". I am not doing anything, waiting for him to act before I do. He still keeps texting me wants to hear about my life and shares about his. Makes cute remarks about our memories. We are talking about a guy who went to see a movie at the same time with me when we were 5000 miles away and got excited about that date. Is there no chance of being a girlfriend again? Is no strings attached sex all he wants from me? Am I being naive? He does not want any commitment. he wants to relocate with his job with no long distance relationship. 2 months is not long enough to want to commit/be engaged and relocate a girlfriend with you. He likes the idea of having someone to pass the time with to go out with or chat with, but he does not want more than that. How many "memories" can you honestly have about an eight week relationship? You are talking as if you were together 10 years and are reminiscing about the good times. Yes, you will be a girlfriend again - but not his - someone else's. So have some respect for yourself and walk away. find someone who wants the same thing you want! Link to comment
MissCanuck Posted March 2, 2017 Share Posted March 2, 2017 Thank you so much for your opinion. I truly appreciate it. You made me think because I thought 'I don't want a committed relationship' was his 'It's not you it's me". I am not doing anything, waiting for him to act before I do. He still keeps texting me wants to hear about my life and shares about his. Makes cute remarks about our memories. We are talking about a guy who went to see a movie at the same time with me when we were 5000 miles away and got excited about that date. Is there no chance of being a girlfriend again? Is no strings attached sex all he wants from me? Am I being naive? In my opinion, yes. He was clear what he doesn't want. You need to stop giving him the benefits of you and your attention when he dumped you. What you're doing right now is showing him that you're fine with a much more casual arrangement. Keep in mind you are likely not the only girl he's talking to, if he is active again on Tinder. I don't think you'll be his girlfriend again, no. He's eventually moving away, right? He's having fun in the meantime but it will come at the expense of your feelings. Link to comment
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