How do you select your friends?

[franciss]

My bf and I went out with an acquaintance of mine and his gf. We met up for dinner and not much else, since it was a weeknight. The night went ok, but the conversation dragged a bit. I left feeling that they were super nice and generous but we just didn't have much in common to connect over. And I think that the feeling was mutual...

 

Okay, here's my question. How selective are you when choosing friends? Would you pursue a second get-together if the first one was so-so?

 

And just a question about etiquette. Would you text the day after to thank the other couple for meeting with you? Or is that just not necessary? I'm 31, in case age group matters...

[Wiseman2]

Did they pay for everything? You don't have be be close friends with everyone. Perhaps get to know them better next time you have a party at your place invite them, etc. How do you know this acquiescence? Was it awkward for his gf and your bf?

MI left feeling that they were super nice and generous but we just didn't have much in common to connect over.

[JaggerJim]

Stick with it, and go on a second outing. It may get better, and all of you will start to get used to each other.

 

You don't need to do a follow up text to say thankyou.

[franciss]

Did they pay for everything? You don't have be be close friends with everyone. Perhaps get to know them better next time you have a party at your place invite them, etc. How do you know this acquiescence? Was it awkward for his gf and your bf?

 

No, we split the bill 50/50. Oh, this acquaintance is someone I met through my work. We don't work for the same company; he was just a client of mine. I wouldn't say it was awkward... maybe a bit tiresome...

[Scoe141]

No, you can use that energy elsewhere. I've made friends over the years through random places. One was an internship, another a job interview. While others have been established.

 

You should pick your friends wisely. There's an old saying, you are the company you keep.

[franciss]

Stick with it, and go on a second outing. It may get better, and all of you will start to get used to each other.

 

You don't need to do a follow up text to say thankyou.

 

How long would you say is a reasonable amount of time before meeting up again? I don't want to seem disinterested but also don't want to be too intrusive on their schedule...

[JaggerJim]

About once a month? If they start saying no, then don't ask them again lol

[Wiseman2]

Ok then maybe invite them to a party/ bbq whatever at your place but don't waste one-on-one time.

this acquaintance is someone I met through my work. We don't work for the same company; he was just a client of mine. I wouldn't say it was awkward... maybe a bit tiresome...

[franciss]

No, you can use that energy elsewhere. I've made friends over the years through random places. One was an internship, another a job interview. While others have been established.

 

You should pick your friends wisely. There's an old saying, you are the company you keep.

 

That's the kind of philosophy I have lived by for a long time. I've been questioning whether or not I should relax and be less cautious. It's hard for me to find people who share my interests, and my world can feel pretty small because of that...

[mustlovedogs]

I have literally never thought about how to make friends. If I enjoy hanging out with them, I invite them out. If I sort of enjoy their company, I sometimes invite them out.

 

 

You shouldn't be thinking this hard.

[Scoe141]

That's the kind of philosophy I have lived by for a long time. I've been questioning whether or not I should relax and be less cautious. It's hard for me to find people who share my interests, and my world can feel pretty small because of that...

 

Eh, do whatever makes you feel most comfortable. If you want to go a museum with a freinds go. If someone asks you to go to a bar but it's not your cup of tea, don't. Why be miserable? Life is hard enough as it is.

 

There are meet-up groups that I've heard about. Suppose you and your SO can go to events that you both enjoy. That way, you may find someone who you click with.

[melancholy123]

If I didnt really enjoy my first dinner out with people I would not go a second time. I'm not good at pretending to like or enjoy the company of those I dont care for. But if it seemed to go ok and the thought of another dinner with them didnt turn you off, then go again and see what happens. Sometimes friendships develop, sometimes they dont.

[randomer2000]

For me generally I do not try and pursue friendship, I just let it come naturally. Hence why I have a very limited amount of friends, but they are good and reliable friends.