Tired of being alone

[journeynow]

I don't have specific advice, but give you a lot of credit for working toward your goal as you are. A year and a half is not far off in the scale of things and your focus and fortitude are good signs. In the meantime, perhaps, if you can, schedule in some socializing (for fun and R&R) and some pampering just for you (so you feel great), maybe do a few meet ups, but don't pressure yourself to pair up. All in good time.

[scott2317]

You keep trying and have the fire inside. The will to keep searching, no matter what. I myself feel alone. If only I get my life on track. I would date and be there for that special someone. Just keep trying is all I am saying.

[Wiseman2]

It may sound counter-intuitive to book yourself up more but what about a recreational type class or club or group or volunteer on your off time? That's a great way to not only keep busy but meet like minded people and make friends, maybe even meet a guy.

[Maddyb12]

It may sound counter-intuitive to book yourself up more but what about a recreational type class or club or group or volunteer on your off time? That's a great way to not only keep busy but meet like minded people and make friends, maybe even meet a guy.

 

The only free time I have is tuesdays before 5pm and Saturdays after 8:30 pm. Other than that I'm off work or out of class around 10-10:30 pm so I'm not sure I could even find something, lol.

[mustlovedogs]

I've stopped talking to guys because they could only fit me in in specific time increments. I'm worth more than to plan my life around where I fit in someone's life.

 

Maybe I'm weird - but being that busy doesn't bode for dating.

[Batya33]

I've stopped talking to guys because they could only fit me in in specific time increments. I'm worth more than to plan my life around where I fit in someone's life.

 

Maybe I'm weird - but being that busy doesn't bode for dating.

 

For me that worked beautifully since I had a similar schedule - I had an intense career and so did almost every man I dated -especially those I got serious with -we respected each other's career/professional goals and did our best to work around the busy schedules.

[JaggerJim]

I'm not trying to be funny, but maybe having a casual outlook might suit your needs better. Maybe try to find someone who doesn't mind a casual fling here and there.

 

Ok so it's not ideal for having "that special someone" but maybe that's all you can invest in right now. You never know, hook-ups can turn into relationships too.

[mustlovedogs]

For me that worked beautifully since I had a similar schedule - I had an intense career and so did almost every man I dated -especially those I got serious with -we respected each other's career/professional goals and did our best to work around the busy schedules.

 

But if you're both so busy that those free times never overlap, then what?

 

I wasn't willing to match my free time with their schedule 100% of the time. One guy said "I can see you between 2 and 3 on Thursday, or 10 days later for half an hour. Which works?" I was like nope I'm out.

[Batya33]

But if you're both so busy that those free times never overlap, then what?

 

I wasn't willing to match my free time with their schedule 100% of the time. One guy said "I can see you between 2 and 3 on Thursday, or 10 days later for half an hour. Which works?" I was like nope I'm out.

 

 

Don't throw the baby out with the bath water. That's simply a guy who is not available for a relationship- and mostly because of his attitude and his presuming that that would be enough time to get to know each other. How did we do it (meaning me with my unpredictable and long hours and the men I dated with the same schedule?). The guys who really wanted a potential LTR made the time and we each sometimes had to cancel. Also meant that we spent time together but also working from home. We both had the attitude that we would each make sacrifices and we didn't expect the other person to be available just because we were. So my guess is you heard this from this one guy or maybe two or three in that rude way - don't assume that all busy people act like that.

On the other hand it's fine to date someone of course who has set hours and they won't increase and he.can take all his vacation time. That might be an awesome person for someone for whom career or professional growth or ambition is much less or not important. Or maybe the person is semi retired. And of course I would avoid workaholics. And sure it can be annoying at night after a long day that my husband isn't available to chat while I'm cleaning up because he's back to work. And sometimes lately it's me in that situation. But I married him knowing that was the situation and wanted someone as ambitious as he is, passionate about his career and super smart. I do accept the downsides. When we were dating he never would have treated my free time in that way.

[Lucha]

Hi maddy, just wanted to let you know I am in a similar situation (working long hours every week as a medical doctor in residency) and am frustrated about the being single thing too. But I honestly believe if you meet the right person it does not have to be much time that you can devote to them. They'll be happy with whatever they can get. I'm just saying this out of my own perspective. But it's meeting the right person that's a bit more challenging. Anyway, just wanted to let you know being an achieving person is great and will someday attract the right person! I wish the same for you as for myself in that we shoudln't have to wait that long before love finds us. Btw, I tried the whole online dating thing too but it has lead nowhere. So I don't believe therein lies the magic answer. Good luck!

[Maddyb12]

I'm not trying to be funny, but maybe having a casual outlook might suit your needs better. Maybe try to find someone who doesn't mind a casual fling here and there.

 

Ok so it's not ideal for having "that special someone" but maybe that's all you can invest in right now. You never know, hook-ups can turn into relationships too.

 

I have someone who I "hook up" with when I feel the need, casual no real feelings just fun every once in a while. But I miss a real connection but I guess i just am not gonna find that anytime soon.

[Maddyb12]

Hi maddy, just wanted to let you know I am in a similar situation (working long hours every week as a medical doctor in residency) and am frustrated about the being single thing too. But I honestly believe if you meet the right person it does not have to be much time that you can devote to them. They'll be happy with whatever they can get. I'm just saying this out of my own perspective. But it's meeting the right person that's a bit more challenging. Anyway, just wanted to let you know being an achieving person is great and will someday attract the right person! I wish the same for you as for myself in that we shoudln't have to wait that long before love finds us. Btw, I tried the whole online dating thing too but it has lead nowhere. So I don't believe therein lies the magic answer. Good luck!

 

I agree as well, I wouldn't mind being with someone bust if the time spent talking and being together was meaningful. But meeting that person is proving to be much harder than I would like. Thank you, I hope the same for you! In a few years we will be able to actually live life! Lol!

[Batya33]

I agree as well, I wouldn't mind being with someone bust if the time spent talking and being together was meaningful. But meeting that person is proving to be much harder than I would like. Thank you, I hope the same for you! In a few years we will be able to actually live life! Lol!

 

It was extremely hard, challenging, frustrating for me. For many years. Often at least another part time job. And totally and completely worth it. I would avoid the casual hookups if you're really looking for a relationship -those can make you cynical and of course can harm you physically, harm your chances of having a child later on (if you want one), etc.

[junebug123]

I have someone who I "hook up" with when I feel the need, casual no real feelings just fun every once in a while. But I miss a real connection but I guess i just am not gonna find that anytime soon.

 

Thus making you even less emotionally available to men who would be interested. Instead of trying to find Mr. Right, work on your own issues first when it comes to men. It's like having these high standards for someone and bringing very little to the table in terms of time and commitment.

 

In terms of the dating market there are much more emotionally available women with time on their hands. You can continue to date in the hopes of finding this person and find that the only people interested are those looking to invest very little.

[Batya33]

Thus making you even less emotionally available to men who would be interested. Instead of trying to find Mr. Right, work on your own issues first when it comes to men. It's like having these high standards for someone and bringing very little to the table in terms of time and commitment.

 

In terms of the dating market there are much more emotionally available women with time on their hands. You can continue to date in the hopes of finding this person and find that the only people interested are those looking to invest very little.

 

I think an ambitious, career-driven person brings plenty to the table to other people who value those qualities and values.