Will we ever get back together after I was clingy and insecure?

[teeuser88]

I met a very wonderful man 6 months ago.He was very loving and caring, he's the best thing that has ever happened to me.I have dated a serial cheater before and had trust issues.As a result I was very clingy, needy and insecure.I wanted to chat with him all the time, and sometimes he would "accidentally" send me things like "happy birthday baby" when it's not my birthday and say he meant "have a happy day".Another time he texted "I'm with my girlfriend" and said he meant to tell his brother that he's with me "on chat".At that time it was a long distance relationship.I had difficulty trusting him.He did all he could to show me he loves me and I'm the only one.He would post pics of us on Facebook, whattsapp and introduced me to his whole family.Six months later he dumped me for being too needy,insecure and for yelling at him when he slept on me while we were chatting,he does that a lot and it makes me angry.He told me he will always love me and that I should go for counselling and love myself.I begged and begged but he said he can't be with me now,he's leaving the relationship.It's been 4 weeks now, I haven't contacted him,his Facebook relationship status says he's still in a relationship with me and he still has our photos.I am working on myself.Do you think we will ever get back together?I love this man so much and I'm really determined to change.

[Pretzel]

It's hard to know what is on his mind, only he can answer this question for you, I'm afraid. I wouldn't read into his Facebook status and your photos. You need to listen to his words and actions (in real life).

 

But honestly, it doesn't sound as if the relationship was going anywhere positive anyway. It sounds like he hasn't taken any responsibility for anything that went wrong and placed it entirely on you. I think you've done a lot of things that are natural in a long distance relationship. I would be suspicious about fishy texts too. It sounds as if the relationship wasn't working and you weren't happy. Your ex being a cheater might have something to do with it. But don't place all of the blame on your previous relationship. You would feel more secure if this guy were making you secure, regardless of your past, you may have moments of doubt but it would not be this bad.

 

I would just accept the break up and continue working on yourself until you are in a happy place while you are single. And then you can look closer to home and date someone who is in the same country as you too!

[Dahl]

I met a very wonderful man 6 months ago.He was very loving and caring, he's the best thing that has ever happened to me.I have dated a serial cheater before and had trust issues.As a result I was very clingy, needy and insecure.I wanted to chat with him all the time, and sometimes he would "accidentally" send me things like "happy birthday baby" when it's not my birthday and say he meant "have a happy day".Another time he texted "I'm with my girlfriend" and said he meant to tell his brother that he's with me "on chat".At that time it was a long distance relationship.I had difficulty trusting him.He did all he could to show me he loves me and I'm the only one.He would post pics of us on Facebook, whattsapp and introduced me to his whole family.Six months later he dumped me for being too needy,insecure and for yelling at him when he slept on me while we were chatting,he does that a lot and it makes me angry.He told me he will always love me and that I should go for counselling and love myself.I begged and begged but he said he can't be with me now,he's leaving the relationship.It's been 4 weeks now, I haven't contacted him,his Facebook relationship status says he's still in a relationship with me and he still has our photos.I am working on myself.Do you think we will ever get back together?I love this man so much and I'm really determined to change.

 

Now. If your best friend. Or sister. Or mother. Or someone, anyone, you pick whom, ran this past you, and you were an entirely unbiased, impartial, third party observer, would this pass the sniff test for remotely believable to you?

 

Keep in mind, you're considering this not as you/you who knows him - you're now a total stranger to the people involved, strictly hearing the details of their story. Do these excuses/explanations hold water to you?

 

 

he would "accidentally" send things like "happy birthday baby" when it's not my birthday and say he meant "have a happy day"

 

happy birthday baby..

v.

.. have a happy day

 

Another time he texted "I'm with my girlfriend" he meant to tell his brother that he's with me "on chat".

 

I’m with my girlfriend

v.

Hey, brother, I’m with my girlfriend on online chat

[Cocoapetal]

Sometimes we know things and we don't want to know so we warp our minds so that we don't see whats in front of us. this relationship is causing you stress and it is not meeting your needs. Its not about him here... listen to what you really want.