RainyCoast Posted February 19, 2017 Share Posted February 19, 2017 Wise, was there a gif? why don't i see it? Link to comment
Jesuismieux412 Posted February 19, 2017 Author Share Posted February 19, 2017 So, just to be clear, we've all reached a consensus that I must give this girl some time to cool off, correct? How many days should I wait for her to initiate contact before I know it's over? Link to comment
katrina1980 Posted February 19, 2017 Share Posted February 19, 2017 Thing is though Wise, frankly, I desire this woman in bed badly...we had phone sex a couple of times...most recently last week...so maybe there's some kind of sexual tension going on? She said she's afraid to have sex with me because she's afraid to disappoint me in bed. Sexual tension for YOU, but not for her, otherwise she'd be having sex with you. In the flesh, not on the damn phone. Calling BS on her excuse.... afraid she'll disappoint you? That's a new one. roll Harsh truth. She is not over her ex. Lastly, "telling" you she loves you? If I've learned anything, it's that "words" mean jack ****. Pay attention to her actions. Or in this case her non-actions. Bottom line .... if she were feeling even half the sexual tension you are, and sexual attraction, she wouldn't be able to wait to have sex with you, instead of spending hours per night having 'phone' sex or whatever else it is you are talking about. GMAFB. Honestly, it sounds like you are her emotional crutch, while she tries to get over her ex. Re what you said, not faulting you at all, but maybe next time don't let your feelings/resentment build. Say something before you reach your limit, so as to avoid expressing it so harshly. Link to comment
Jesuismieux412 Posted February 19, 2017 Author Share Posted February 19, 2017 I see you, Katrina..but she did break up with him a year ago...she broke it off with him. Link to comment
RainyCoast Posted February 19, 2017 Share Posted February 19, 2017 it has taken me over a year to get over someone i dumped. it would've been really s****y of me to string a guy along then. Link to comment
Ms Darcy Posted February 19, 2017 Share Posted February 19, 2017 They broke up a year ago and haven't spoken since then. I said something like this: "I'm tired of you talking about your ex all the time, get the f*ck over it. Do I bring up my ex all the time? No, Never. I'm sick of it."... I have to strongly disagree. If this is someone you still want to date, speaking to her like this was unacceptable. If the genders were reversed, I would say the same thing. If you don't want to date someone not over their ex, then stop dating her. But the verbal vitriol is not OK. Link to comment
katrina1980 Posted February 19, 2017 Share Posted February 19, 2017 I see you, Katrina..but she did break up with him a year ago...she broke it off with him. So what? If she is still talking about him, she is not over him. Not IMO anyway. Talking about an ex to a new date or boyfriend? Huge red flag, doesn't matter how long ago they broke up. Why did she break up with him? Did she fall out of love ... or did he treat her badly? I can't even imagine talking about my ex with new guys, assuming I am over him. Not gonna happen. And if a new guy starts talking about HIS ex? Without my asking about it first? Automatic deal breaker. Link to comment
Jesuismieux412 Posted February 19, 2017 Author Share Posted February 19, 2017 I see your point, Darcy. That just popped out of my mouth because of my feelings for the girl. I did apologize the next day, she called that night, tortured me a little bit, but she seemed to be coming around by the end of the conversation. The next day, she called after class again, told me she failed an exam and I could tell it rattled her. The next day, I ask her out for our 6th date, and she says no because of the vitriol. I can't help but to think the failed exam overloaded her for the week. Link to comment
Jesuismieux412 Posted February 19, 2017 Author Share Posted February 19, 2017 Yes, Katrina--it's rude, and I consider it rude...that's why I spoke out in a crude fashion. She said she broke up with him because "there was nothing there." She also said she was abused by her previous boyfriends...had a bad experience with a Borderline Personality once, too. Link to comment
Ms Darcy Posted February 19, 2017 Share Posted February 19, 2017 I see your point, Darcy. That just popped out of my mouth because of my feelings for the girl. I did apologize the next day, she called that night, tortured me a little bit, but she seemed to be coming around by the end of the conversation. The next day, she called after class again, told me she failed an exam and I could tell it rattled her. The next day, I ask her out for our 6th date, and she says no because of the vitriol. I can't help but to think the failed exam overloaded her for the week. I think you cursing at her AND her failing the exam overloaded her for the week. Link to comment
Ms Darcy Posted February 19, 2017 Share Posted February 19, 2017 Yes, Katrina--it's rude, and I consider it rude...that's why I spoke out in a crude fashion. She said she broke up with him because "there was nothing there." She also said she was abused by her previous boyfriends...had a bad experience with a Borderline Personality once, too. You are an adult. You haven't addressed the reality that if you don't like how she acts, your job is to walk away. It's not to try to change her. Link to comment
Jesuismieux412 Posted February 19, 2017 Author Share Posted February 19, 2017 Darcy, everything with her is great...seriously. The only thing I don't like is the exboyfriend stories/references. Link to comment
Ms Darcy Posted February 19, 2017 Share Posted February 19, 2017 Darcy, everything with her is great...seriously. The only thing I don't like is the exboyfriend stories/references. That's sort of like saying: "Everything with my bf is great except he's a prostitute." A dealbreaker is a dealbreaker. Even if it's only one. Link to comment
Jesuismieux412 Posted February 19, 2017 Author Share Posted February 19, 2017 Ehh, couldn't that be kind of a false equivalency? Link to comment
Wiseman2 Posted February 19, 2017 Share Posted February 19, 2017 ....And the red flags just keep coming...She also said she was abused by her previous boyfriends...had a bad experience with a Borderline Personality once, too. Link to comment
RainyCoast Posted February 19, 2017 Share Posted February 19, 2017 Everything is cool- except she's emotionally invested in someone else. Link to comment
Jesuismieux412 Posted February 19, 2017 Author Share Posted February 19, 2017 Yeah but I care for her, Wise. Link to comment
Jesuismieux412 Posted February 19, 2017 Author Share Posted February 19, 2017 Everything is cool- except she's emotionally invested in someone else. Hmm, but she's not talking to him on the phone or going out with him...she told me that she cannot even call him because he'd scream at her. Link to comment
Ms Darcy Posted February 19, 2017 Share Posted February 19, 2017 Ehh, couldn't that be kind of a false equivalency? It's a dealbreaker for you. That's all that matters. Link to comment
boltnrun Posted February 19, 2017 Share Posted February 19, 2017 So it sounds like she only broke up with him because he didn't love her, not because she didn't love him. Not a good sign. Link to comment
Jesuismieux412 Posted February 19, 2017 Author Share Posted February 19, 2017 He had a wedding ring picked out...she knew that and still left him. Link to comment
katrina1980 Posted February 19, 2017 Share Posted February 19, 2017 Yeah but I care for her, Wise. Yeah but I presume you care for 'yourself' too and want what's best for yourself? Do you think trying to maintain a "relationship" (spent mostly on the phone) with a chick still hung up on her ex is in "your" best interests? Link to comment
RainyCoast Posted February 19, 2017 Share Posted February 19, 2017 Hmm, but she's not talking to him on the phone or going out with him...she told me that she cannot even call him because he'd scream at her. that's why she won't call him? not she won't call him because she doesn't want to, but because he'd scream at her? basically, it's her who is interested- but he rejects. seems like you're willing to rationalize a whole lot, after just a few dates. hey. what if the sex turns out lame lol. Link to comment
Jesuismieux412 Posted February 19, 2017 Author Share Posted February 19, 2017 Katrina, she's a full time student and works 2 jobs. I've seen her every week for the past month and a half, and we cannot keep our hands off of one another...other "things" have happened, too. Everything except outright intercourse. Link to comment
Jesuismieux412 Posted February 19, 2017 Author Share Posted February 19, 2017 that's why she won't call him? not she won't call him because she doesn't want to, but because he'd scream at her? basically, it's her who is interested- but he rejects. seems like you're willing to rationalize a whole lot, after just a few dates. hey. what if the sex turns out lame lol. He was going to propose, and she still left him. Haha about the sex. She probably isn't going to come back to me after my little outburst...who knows? Link to comment
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