twentysix Posted February 18, 2017 Share Posted February 18, 2017 So it's official. The last box has been dropped off, and I'm officially living on my own. I'm feeling quite lonely, but at least I'll be occupied getting everything all set up. In the end, I didn't let him help with the move except with the fish tank right at the end of the day. I really needed his help with that as my brother (who did help me move) knows nothing about fish. So he saw the place. It was very emotional. Just as he was leaving, we had a long, long hug, both fighting back tears. "I really hope this isn't the end for us" I couldn't help myself say. He burst into tears and said he really really hopes it's not too. He asked if he could come visit me next week, I told him we will see how it goes. I ended up leaving the engagement ring on the bed at the old apartment, with my keys next to it and a little one-line note. Time for both of us to reflect, now we are apart. Experience life without the other person and just let time tell what will happen next. Link to comment
Matt3939 Posted February 18, 2017 Share Posted February 18, 2017 Well at least you can keep yourself busy for a bit of time. Now I think you will have to make a decision. If you want to drag out the breakup. Example him coming over ect or if you truly want to move on now. Link to comment
j.man Posted February 18, 2017 Share Posted February 18, 2017 Sounds like you handled it very well. Leaving the ring and keys with an amicable one-line note was a very appropriate move. I know it's rough, but really try to enjoy the freedom. Do a bunch of [non-alcohol related] stuff you wouldn't have normally done while sharing space. Leave a trail of clothes from the front door to the bathroom. Binge on some Gilmore Girls. Best of luck. Link to comment
Wiseman2 Posted February 18, 2017 Share Posted February 18, 2017 Glad it went well, when you're settled have a house warming party. Stop dating him. He wouldn't have broken off an engagement and kicked you out if this were true 6754479] He burst into tears and said he really really hopes it's not too. Link to comment
little01 Posted February 19, 2017 Share Posted February 19, 2017 You did well. You will feel lonely but you will eventually get used to it - living alone, spend time with friends whenever possible! I'm living on my own also, first time in my life. Moved out from our apartment (no one understands why it wasn't him moving out since he's the one wanting to break up...), first time living on my own. Been 8 months since the break, you will get stronger with time. Hugs! Link to comment
boltnrun Posted February 19, 2017 Share Posted February 19, 2017 Sounds like you handled it very well. Leaving the ring and keys with an amicable one-line note was a very appropriate move. I know it's rough, but really try to enjoy the freedom. Do a bunch of [non-alcohol related] stuff you wouldn't have normally done while sharing space. Leave a trail of clothes from the front door to the bathroom. Binge on some Gilmore Girls. Best of luck. Is that what women like to do? For me it's a six pack of Tsingtao and The Godfather/Godfather Part II marathon. And I never leave clothes on the floor. OP, maybe for you it's a glass of wine or a cup of tea in the tub with some music and a book. Link to comment
Dahl Posted February 19, 2017 Share Posted February 19, 2017 Hi, hi, Twentysix. Just wanted to check in with you and see how you are faring. Hope things are going well - as well as can be is entirely acceptable, too. Hang in! Link to comment
twentysix Posted February 19, 2017 Author Share Posted February 19, 2017 Hi, hi, Twentysix. Just wanted to check in with you and see how you are faring. Hope things are going well - as well as can be is entirely acceptable, too. Hang in! Hi Dahl, I'm doing okay thank you so much for checking in. I've got the day off work today to finish getting everything sorted. I actually heard from him last night, he texted to see how I was doing. I kept my replies very platonic though. It's going to be hard to "move on" and "forget about him" and "go no contact" like everyone suggests as we work for the same company, that's how we met six years ago. He works on the field so I don't see him, but I'm essentially his manager so I need to communicate with him every few days... Link to comment
Dahl Posted February 20, 2017 Share Posted February 20, 2017 Hi Dahl, I'm doing okay thank you so much for checking in. I've got the day off work today to finish getting everything sorted. I actually heard from him last night, he texted to see how I was doing. I kept my replies very platonic though. It's going to be hard to "move on" and "forget about him" and "go no contact" like everyone suggests as we work for the same company, that's how we met six years ago. He works on the field so I don't see him, but I'm essentially his manager so I need to communicate with him every few days... Absolutely! I was thinking of your situation and hoping for the best, but reluctant to poke you about it in an effort to give you time to adjust. It sounds like you are off to a dead bang good start! Is there any way - if you even want to go this route - to get to a different place at work, tty and negate that interaction? Your responses were well done. No one can expect any part of this to be easy for you. You're really doing well in the face of everything! Link to comment
twentysix Posted February 20, 2017 Author Share Posted February 20, 2017 Absolutely! I was thinking of your situation and hoping for the best, but reluctant to poke you about it in an effort to give you time to adjust. It sounds like you are off to a dead bang good start! Is there any way - if you even want to go this route - to get to a different place at work, tty and negate that interaction? Your responses were well done. No one can expect any part of this to be easy for you. You're really doing well in the face of everything! Poke me anytime, it's nice to be thought of In regards to the work, I don't really want to do that - I worked towards this position for 4 years so I'm not really wanting to let it go yet. He, however, considered going to work for another company after all this happened but decided against it - he said it might be too many changes for him right now (he's worked here 3 months longer than me) and wants his friends around which I can understand. The company we work for is like a family, everyone is all very close. I know that if it all got too difficult for me though, that he would leave if I asked him to. I go through waves where I'm like, "Yep, this is going to be good, I'm feeling great" and then other times where it feels like there's a rock in my stomach, thinking about him possibly meeting someone else, him visiting his family and me not being there, even just thinking of him being in our apartment on his own and that he might be hurting too. It's all absolutely killing me sometimes, but one positive is that level of anxiety I had still being in the apartment with him is gone. The last few weeks I was always on the edge of my seat, we were together but not together, I was waiting every day for him to change his mind about me or end it altogether, I was always emotional asking him how he was feeling and then getting upset when he said he still "doesn't know". Arghhhhh, I feel like I'm doing quite well too actually, but it's only been four days. At the moment it's still a bit like a "holiday" from each other. I feel like as a little more time goes on, it might get harder before it gets better... Link to comment
Dahl Posted February 20, 2017 Share Posted February 20, 2017 You *sound* like you're in a better place, for what it's worth. And it certainly sounds as well as though you have the best possible handle you can on your work situation. I rather worried it would be something like that and I in no way wish to suggest that you do anything or suffer any penalty in an attempt to further block him. You've got it managed. What fun treat are you getting yourself for your new place? I want your answer to be in puppy form, but that seems to be a bit much to ask of a newly unpacked resident. Link to comment
twentysix Posted February 20, 2017 Author Share Posted February 20, 2017 You *sound* like you're in a better place, for what it's worth. And it certainly sounds as well as though you have the best possible handle you can on your work situation. I rather worried it would be something like that and I in no way wish to suggest that you do anything or suffer any penalty in an attempt to further block him. You've got it managed. What fun treat are you getting yourself for your new place? I want your answer to be in puppy form, but that seems to be a bit much to ask of a newly unpacked resident. I would LOVE to get myself a puppy, however NO PETS in this apartment. Such a shame! I haven't got any FUN treats yet, but I have had to buy a lot of stuff to get the place set up. Maybe I won't buy anything fun for the new place, and take myself on a trip instead Link to comment
Dahl Posted February 20, 2017 Share Posted February 20, 2017 Ooh! Good looking out - I can think of no better way to celebrate surviving a move than a vacation in some warm and ridiculously pretty place! Where do you want to go? What about a cruise? Or a scenic train trip? The latter may be wildly boring, I can't be sure. Link to comment
twentysix Posted February 21, 2017 Author Share Posted February 21, 2017 Ooh! Good looking out - I can think of no better way to celebrate surviving a move than a vacation in some warm and ridiculously pretty place! Where do you want to go? What about a cruise? Or a scenic train trip? The latter may be wildly boring, I can't be sure. I live in Australia, so I'd like to head down to Tasmania and take a road trip for a week. Clear my head, be in a new place. I think it'd be great Link to comment
Dahl Posted February 21, 2017 Share Posted February 21, 2017 Wow! Please, please don't let anything stop this plan! This is a fantastic plan. Even I could handle a move if I had this ahead of me. Go you! Link to comment
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