Should I just walk away?

[Aarontmarshall]

Hey to you all,

 

Need some advice on my situation if anyone can help. My ex girlfriend broke up with me in November, I am 29 and she is 26, we were together for five years. Our relationship ended because she kept saying that she felt trapped in our relationship, that she needed to travel more, that she had stopped loving me, that she needed to be alone for a while and some other reasons. Truth be told, I took the breakup hard but after she moved out of our flat I picked myself up, I am starting a new job soon which I'm sure I'll love, I am planning to travel here and there soon also, working out, doing great really. I accepted our breakup and the faults on my side, I couldn't travel for long periods of time because I look after my son every fortnightly(he is from my ex before this one). I do not blame her for leaving to be honest, she has needs that she wishes to do and can't do this because we were together. Over the past few months we have been texting back and fourth some times, even met up for drinks a couple of times. When we met I was confident, we flirted quite a bit and I began to think that we could gradually get this back on track, however when I would ask if she wished to hang out she would decline, but when she asked I did(stupid of me I know). It all changed when she invited me to go to France with her to visit her parents but she stressed the fact that nothing would ever happen between us and she just wants to be friends. I told her that I would think about it, later that evening I called her and told her that I didn't want to go to France with her and that I would never see her as just a friend and that it is best not to speak unless it is about getting back together and also that it wouldn't be such a good idea for her to see my son(who she loves dearly). She became upset and quite angry with me. I do want her back because she means a great deal to me but I can't lie and pretend to be her friend. Do I still have a chance with her or am I just being hopeful? She kept saying things such as, "I just want to be alone, for now", "who knows what the future will hold", "if fate brings us back together then it will". Hope someone can help with my situation.

 

Many thanks

[Wiseman2]

It sounds like you are doing all the right things since she broke up and moved out. It sounds like she wasn't ready willing or able to handle being in a committed relationship, no less dating a single dad.

 

Sounds like she just wants travel buddies in the friendzone. Good you said no to that and excellent you won't let her see your son. What is she thinking?

 

Don't let her string you along with these lines 6749939] "I just want to be alone, for now", "who knows what the future will hold", "if fate brings us back together then it will".

[Aarontmarshall]

Yeah it is hard because she doesn't really have any "true" friends. Her true friends are myself, my younger brother and his girlfriend to be honest and she has some back in France. Those things she was saying kept messing my head up but now I know that she is just trying to keep a hold of me in any manner possible.

[angrythoughts]

You're being strung along. Next time she asks to hangout don't even respond. She doesn't even respect your decision of wanting to go no contact.

 

"Should I walk away?"

- Yes. Duh.

[Wiseman2]

Maybe because she jerks people around?

she doesn't really have any "true" friends.

[catfeeder]

Should I just walk away?

 

Yes. It makes no sense to allow yourself to be used as a comfort blanket by someone who is clearly not interested in resuming a romance. You're smart to skip that. I'd make it my private goal to surprise everyone, including myself, with my resilience and ability to bounce back from this. Your ex knows where you stand--if she ever wants to try reconciling your relationship, she knows how to reach you. Anything less than that is a growth stunter for zero payoff.

 

Head high.

[Aarontmarshall]

Yes. It makes no sense to allow yourself to be used as a comfort blanket by someone who is clearly not interested in resuming a romance. You're smart to skip that. I'd make it my private goal to surprise everyone, including myself, with my resilience and ability to bounce back from this. Your ex knows where you stand--if she ever wants to try reconciling your relationship, she knows how to reach you. Anything less than that is a growth stunter for zero payoff.

 

Head high.

 

Thanks for the advice, appreciate it.

[ShatteredMan]

Walk. You're definitely being strung along until your replacement is found. Been there, done that. Don't be like me.