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Need advice broke up with my gf 4weeks ago


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Hello all new member here, i dont normally go to this for advice but i am stuck and i think my friends are tired of hearing me (sorry this is long and you guys probably need background).So alittle back ground my ex and i went to the same grade school, never really talked to her there...but somehow we managed to remeet 5 years later and became friends, due to us having mutual friends she added me on social media that night and she joined the same gym as me. Later on we started going together and at first i couldve sworn she wasn't my type but i later found my self crushing on her. We hung out all the time and she would even cancel dates to hang with me but at the time would never date me cause of course all girls are afraid to lose you... that never stopped me from pursing her and i finally got the chance to take her out, even the family asked why we werent together yet. Well we never went on that date it was at a family party when we just got really close and later just that night, we just started kissing and the next day we made it offical it was odd but i was happy as can be lol. The relationship...... she was my first serious relationship so i was very jealous and now being broken up im seeing the stuff that bothered me was nothing at all (all my friends tried to calm me down about it they even saw. She was a loyal girl). The girl literally went to school/work and than came home to me and we slept together everyday for 5 months.... ik that sounds crazy but i think the whole friendship befor that allowed for that cause as friends wed cuddle and take naps together. I let stupid things bother me, such as stories of other peoples failures and that she had guy friends bugged me the whole relationship. I was afraid to lose her and never fully soaked in she chose me over all the other guys. I would harp on **** like her coworker snapping her it bugged the hell out of me even when she showed me all of them i was still going nuts about it. I let all this overtake me and the relarionship went sour i started making her block people but at the same time she was making me block people..... but she still said i was emotionally abusing her cause like i said i was never fully stable. But that being said we also did have alot of good times but the bad times got really bad and we both ended it i was stressing myself out and she was stressed that i could never fully accept she was mine. Well after we broke up we did everything wrong my mind was confused we hung out everday slept together and i texted her the long paragraphs you are not suppose to type out after a breakup. I threw a party on our ex 6 month anniversary, that i invited her too but she said it wasnt a good idea considering we slept together night before 🙃... i was so emotinally hurt and confused i got drunk and i put her stuff on my porch told her come get it wnd never wanted to see her again. I woke up trying to apologize and she wanted nothing to do with me which i do not blame her at all for i have anger issues and im working on that aswell. She told my friends she was disappointed and i hurt her more than ever and she loved me so much but just couldnt talk to me anymore. People got involved and kinda made it worse for me... the whole putting her stuff on the porch was cause i had toxic people in my ear. Now i am here devasted i tried to meet her for coffee 4 weeks ago but she said she is finally feeling better, i respected that and removed her off social media, last week at random times i found she readded me back onto them but we are still nc. Im also hearing she was on a couple dates which is killing me so much . Again im sorry its so long i forgot to mention i am 21 and she is 20. What should i do guys, will we ever talk again? I cant accept we may be strangers after her being in my life for a year and 5 months. I want her back and i know i screwed things up it also kills me cause she asked my good friend how i was doing 😔 Just want her back.. but i am also moving on and going to the gym changed my hair style changed my apperance went from glasses to contacts. Therapy for my anger and been reading stories on here about getting your ex back and similar stories to mine it gives me hope but ik i really ****ed up!

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I don't know if you'll be able to get her back, but whatever happens with the relationship YOU NEED TO WORK ON YOU.


Were you really emotionally abusive? Why did you allow jealousy and possessiveness to consume you? Why were you spending time with toxic people, and why did you listen to their advice?


Everyone makes mistakes in relationships, especially at your age. Some are recoverable and some are not, but the only true failure is failing to learn from them.


Get some therapy, work through your insecurities and commit to being a better partner the next time you are in a romantic relationship.

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I was definetly not nice at times, but i guess i let it over take me cause i was afraid of losing her if that makes sense, i had friends tell me she does come off alittle flirty but she never did anything for me to really have concern. It was my first relationship and i never truly felt the way i have for her for anyone else so i guess i got WAY to protective and became more as a babysitter than a boyfriend im really truly trying to work on myself try to forget her but she always some how manages to cross mind i miss her but not changing for her im changing for me. The break up was good in a way cause shed give me chances and my ways never changed so i dont blame her but i sure do miss having her around.

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IMO... it's too bad you guys crossed that 'friendship' boundary.


it is possible to be friends with the opposite sex-- but maybe NOT sleep in same bed and do so much together....


Now... things have all gone downhill-- including your friendship sorry.


To be friends again? I say give it at least 6+ months of no contact.. and respect her requested space.

No following.. no begging. Leave it alone.


In time.. when you're both w/out those 'feelings', then, maybe you can 'try' and be friends again. But, so often it's not so.

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Thanks soosad do you think dating will ever be a. Option again or is that way out the window. I love her still kills me to think she may have been on dates even as friends it was alittle rough wed stop talking and such for stupid reasons, some how always going back to eachother cause itd kill her not talking to me. It all sucks though i want to be her friend but it will kill me seeing her with another guy

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I also forgot to add after the official break up, and the week after we were together everyday not as boyf and girlf she completely bashed me on social media. She kept the pics up of us on instagram she changed the caption too on all of them (she couldve just deleted) but i ignored ik she wanted a reaction from me my reaction was silence and i made her look like the ass😂. Than when she readded me she changed all the captions to single again why not just delete the pics so i just removed her again i do not need that childish behavior drama she was like that during relationship just not as bad and idk why after that i find myself still missing her

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