whoami33 Posted February 3, 2017 Share Posted February 3, 2017 After our breakup I waited about a week, then I contacted her, everything went great! She even told me "thank you for this talk".. The following day was even better! Never once did I mention missing her or anything, than towards that night she actually told me "hey I miss you" and I proceeded to tell her I feel the same.. The the day after that she was super cold, it started off good, we both said our good mornings, and I asked if I can hit her up later because I was busy at work.. she said yes it's okay .. so I hit her up later that night and told her "it's totally okay what u told me last night, for all you know I could be feeling the same" .. that's when she brought up our past and told me everything how I would treat her bad and even told me she was tearing up while she was typing that whole paragraph. At that moment she said we shouldn't be talking as friends because it gets her too attached.. The next day I tried reaching out and said "hey whenever ur ready to talk I'll be here ( She replied "please leave me alone im only going to ask you this once So I replied "alright I'll give u what u want peace" Idk what I did wrong we were doing just fine! I feel like it's her friends putting stuff in her head about me I don't know .. I remember in the past when we previously broke up she said that all she ever wanted was space and she would reach out eventually, idk if that still applies months later after she said that.. Link to comment
J Miracle Posted February 3, 2017 Share Posted February 3, 2017 Doesn't sound like you did anything wrong. She's confused, but do you really want to be on that roller coaster of emotions with her? Don't let this person walk in and out of your life and jerk you around. Your sending a signal that this behavior is ok. Cut her out. Link to comment
Lostinlove31 Posted February 3, 2017 Share Posted February 3, 2017 The problem is you're not giving her what she wants. You persuing her and all it is doing is pushing her away. Walk away from her. Doesn't matter. She wants space so you give her the gift of missing you. Link to comment
whoami33 Posted February 3, 2017 Author Share Posted February 3, 2017 What do u think I should do with my profile? I feel like if I put it on private it'll be like when someone moves away, u don't see them and u forget about them.. so would it be best to leave it on public and let her see me happy? The problem is you're not giving her what she wants. You persuing her and all it is doing is pushing her away. Walk away from her. Doesn't matter. She wants space so you give her the gift of missing you. Link to comment
whoami33 Posted February 3, 2017 Author Share Posted February 3, 2017 Do u think she will ever reach out if I cut her off and focus on me? Plus I was the guy to take her virginity I heard they always come back.. who knows Doesn't sound like you did anything wrong. She's confused, but do you really want to be on that roller coaster of emotions with her? Don't let this person walk in and out of your life and jerk you around. Your sending a signal that this behavior is ok. Cut her out. Link to comment
Matt3939 Posted February 3, 2017 Share Posted February 3, 2017 It's really awful doing the back and forth thing over and over. U told her the way you feel so let it be. There's no 100% that she will come back. BTW how many people are still with the person they first slept with. I'd say that's a small percentage. Link to comment
shessofly Posted February 3, 2017 Share Posted February 3, 2017 Do u think she will ever reach out if I cut her off and focus on me? Plus I was the guy to take her virginity I heard they always come back.. who knows By your own admission in your first post you treated her badly, drank too much and from the sounds of it have a bad temper. None of that has changed in a week's time. You should not worry about how to get her back, you should focus solely on getting healthy. As for virgins always coming back - not true. Don't hang on to that nor use it as hope that she will come back. A healthy relationship where one is being treated well trumps going back to the guy who took your virginity any day. Link to comment
Lostinlove31 Posted February 3, 2017 Share Posted February 3, 2017 What do u think I should do with my profile? I feel like if I put it on private it'll be like when someone moves away, u don't see them and u forget about them.. so would it be best to leave it on public and let her see me happy? Block her. Distance yourself from her and this situation. Work on yourself. She mistreated you..work on becoming a better you. Link to comment
whoami33 Posted February 3, 2017 Author Share Posted February 3, 2017 I've completely stopped drinking alcohol, started working out, turned my life to god.. but how can she ever see any of that if we don't talk anymore? By your own admission in your first post you treated her badly, drank too much and from the sounds of it have a bad temper. None of that has changed in a week's time. You should not worry about how to get her back, you should focus solely on getting healthy. As for virgins always coming back - not true. Don't hang on to that nor use it as hope that she will come back. A health relationship where one is being treated well trumps taking virginity any day. Link to comment
whoami33 Posted February 3, 2017 Author Share Posted February 3, 2017 I was actually the one who mistreated her.. I just don't understand why she opened up then went completely cold w me .. Block her. Distance yourself from her and this situation. Work on yourself. She mistreated you..work on becoming a better you. Link to comment
shessofly Posted February 3, 2017 Share Posted February 3, 2017 I've completely stopped drinking alcohol, started working out, turned my life to god.. but how can she ever see any of that if we don't talk anymore? This is good news, but trust me when I say you have not overcome all of these flaws in just a week. You can do nothing more but respect her wishes and leave her alone. If she has lost interest in the relationship nothing you do will change her mind. Link to comment
whoami33 Posted February 3, 2017 Author Share Posted February 3, 2017 Yeah that's true.. well this isn't what I wanted to hear at all... It's really awful doing the back and forth thing over and over. U told her the way you feel so let it be. There's no 100% that she will come back. BTW how many people are still with the person they first slept with. I'd say that's a small percentage. Link to comment
whoami33 Posted February 3, 2017 Author Share Posted February 3, 2017 Yeah I know I can relapse at any time, I can fully say I've changed when I'm months down the road doing what I am doing today.. I just don't understand why she opened up and said she missed me and even told me she really meant it.. maybe there's still some feelings for me what do u think?? This is good news, but trust me when I say you have not overcome all of these flaws in just a week. You can do nothing more but respect her wishes and leave her alone. If she has lost interest in the relationship nothing you can do will change her mind. Link to comment
Lostinlove31 Posted February 3, 2017 Share Posted February 3, 2017 I was actually the one who mistreated her.. I just don't understand why she opened up then went completely cold w me .. Misread it. Stil remove yourself from her and you from her. She may never comeback but her to see change she must want to see it. You need to continue moving forward. Improving yourself in case she does or someone else. Be a better you. Link to comment
shessofly Posted February 3, 2017 Share Posted February 3, 2017 Yeah I know I can relapse at any time, I can fully say I've changed when I'm months down the road doing what I am doing today.. I just don't understand why she opened up and said she missed me and even told me she really meant it.. maybe there's still some feelings for me what do u think?? Breakups are emotional. She can still care for you but know that it's not healthy to have you in her life. Link to comment
whoami33 Posted February 3, 2017 Author Share Posted February 3, 2017 Yeah ur right, I just needa build a 2.0 version of myself and just focus on myself .. either her or somebody else will come along.. Misread it. Stil remove yourself from her and you from her. She may never comeback but her to see change she must want to see it. You need to continue moving forward. Improving yourself in case she does or someone else. Be a better you. Link to comment
whoami33 Posted February 3, 2017 Author Share Posted February 3, 2017 Yeah I think that's exactly how she feels at the moment.. Who knows maybe months or even weeks down the road she'll start to miss me .. but who knows Breakups are emotional. She can still care for you but know that it's not healthy to have you in her life. Link to comment
Lostinlove31 Posted February 3, 2017 Share Posted February 3, 2017 Yeah ur right, I just needa build a 2.0 version of myself and just focus on myself .. either her or somebody else will come along.. Exactly. You get hung up on her ypu will miss someone who sees you foe you. She be too focused on the former you..good luck. Link to comment
tsukitora Posted February 3, 2017 Share Posted February 3, 2017 She probably regrets telling you she misses you because it opens doors. She probably does miss you but once she admitted it you started moving closer (not your fault) and it pushed her away. Now she's going cold and saying don't contact me because she can feel you guys getting closer which is painful I wouldnt suggest anything drastic like blocking her. Just DO NOT CONTACT HER. let her miss you. I bet she will and then she'll reach out. If she doesn't, move on. But if she does be sure to be really chill and not overly clingy/desperate to get back with her. If she says things like "I miss you" then great. Ask her if she'd like to meet for coffee and chat. Also, it takes a long time to change. She's not going to believe that you've changed in a week or even a month. Maybe you can if you really focus on yourself and you can prove it to her if your time comes again. People do get back together. But not often. Link to comment
whoami33 Posted February 3, 2017 Author Share Posted February 3, 2017 Yeah I doubt she'll ever come back, I just gotta move on for good... I heard from one of her friends that she brings me up to other guys and tells them how I treated her so bad in a depressed tone.. and that she posts lip singing videos with lyrics towards me.. Which I don't get because she left me,. Shouldn't she be happy? Why does she still bring me up, or even post things like dissing me.. She probably regrets telling you she misses you because it opens doors. She probably does miss you but once she admitted it you started moving closer (not your fault) and it pushed her away. Now she's going cold and saying don't contact me because she can feel you guys getting closer which is painful I wouldnt suggest anything drastic like blocking her. Just DO NOT CONTACT HER. let her miss you. I bet she will and then she'll reach out. If she doesn't, move on. But if she does be sure to be really chill and not overly clingy/desperate to get back with her. If she says things like "I miss you" then great. Ask her if she'd like to meet for coffee and chat. Also, it takes a long time to change. She's not going to believe that you've changed in a week or even a month. Maybe you can if you really focus on yourself and you can prove it to her if your time comes again. People do get back together. But not often. Link to comment
whoami33 Posted February 3, 2017 Author Share Posted February 3, 2017 Her friend told me she was sad today because she started liking another guy and he just went ghost on her, and now another guy messaged her to ask her if she was okay and she basically told brought me up and told him how bad I treated her and how she's sad becuase this guy won't reply... Like why even bring me up in the first place? She probably regrets telling you she misses you because it opens doors. She probably does miss you but once she admitted it you started moving closer (not your fault) and it pushed her away. Now she's going cold and saying don't contact me because she can feel you guys getting closer which is painful I wouldnt suggest anything drastic like blocking her. Just DO NOT CONTACT HER. let her miss you. I bet she will and then she'll reach out. If she doesn't, move on. But if she does be sure to be really chill and not overly clingy/desperate to get back with her. If she says things like "I miss you" then great. Ask her if she'd like to meet for coffee and chat. Also, it takes a long time to change. She's not going to believe that you've changed in a week or even a month. Maybe you can if you really focus on yourself and you can prove it to her if your time comes again. People do get back together. But not often. Link to comment
MissCanuck Posted February 3, 2017 Share Posted February 3, 2017 Her friend told me she was sad today because she started liking another guy and he just went ghost on her, and now another guy messaged her to ask her if she was okay and she basically told brought me up and told him how bad I treated her and how she's sad becuase this guy won't reply... Like why even bring me up in the first place? Because she was trying to make him feel good about himself by telling him how badly you treated her. It was probably her round-about way of "complimenting" him and perhaps explaining why she ended your relationship. The point is that you should not even know this information. Ask her/your friends not to share this with you, because it won't help you at all. Link to comment
whoami33 Posted February 3, 2017 Author Share Posted February 3, 2017 1. What I don't get is why does she still post about me, and bring me up in conversations, when she was the one to break up w me? 2. Do u think she'll ever forgive me if I treated her bad? Do u think time will help her heal and forgive me for all the wrong that I've caused in her life? And yeah I blocked them already Because she was trying to make him feel good about himself by telling him how badly you treated her. It was probably her round-about way of "complimenting" him and perhaps explaining why she ended your relationship. The point is that you should not even know this information. Ask her/your friends not to share this with you, because it won't help you at all. Link to comment
Lostinlove31 Posted February 3, 2017 Share Posted February 3, 2017 You my friend are now the example of what she doesn't want to be treated like. That means you're always associated with negative feelings and emotions. It is a reminder to her. Link to comment
Wiseman2 Posted February 3, 2017 Share Posted February 3, 2017 What was the breakup about? What was the purpose of continuing to act like you're together after breaking up? All you can do at this point is go no contact. Stop smothering her or playing games.She replied "please leave me alone im only going to ask you this once Link to comment
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