I need some help you guys..

[whoami33]

Long story short I was just really disrespectful, I was really controlling, I was always going out with friends drinking and arguing a lot.. I was just a terrible bf. When we would argue she would cry a lot.. I was just a monster back then..

 

Before you bash me for drinking and everything I've changed my ways, I got help for my drinking, gave myself to god, started going to the gym, everything positive

 

How can I show her I changed my ways? How would she see

 

What was the breakup about? What was the purpose of continuing to act like you're together after breaking up? All you can do at this point is go no contact. Stop smothering her or playing games.

[whoami33]

your right I was, I was full of negative thoughts accusing her for nothing etc.. . But things have changed now I'm all about positivy. But how can she see that for herself?

 

You my friend are now the example of what she doesn't want to be treated like. That means you're always associated with negative feelings and emotions.

 

It is a reminder to her.

[Wiseman2]

You haven't changed your ways if she's been seeing you, hanging out, etc and after the end of that period tells you "please leave me alone im only going to ask you this once .

 

Many people after putting up with poor treatment too long have had an epiphany. People who want to get back with an ex often claim to. They realize that people claim this because they miss sex, want to 'win" something back etc, but will most likely revert to their sorry old ways.

 

They also know about the AA mantras and that people don't change after a couple of days/weeks. They also just won't want you back because of the bad taste left behind, regardless of if you've changed or not.. Go No Contact before she files a restraining order.

How can I show her I changed my ways? How would she see

[Fun Boater 1]

How old are you and her?

Just read through all of these posts. You need to just let her go, focus on improving yourself and being a better guy so you will be that much better equipped to be a great dating partner for the next girl who comes around - and there will be a "next" one for sure. Just accept that you have blown it with her, at least for now, and move on. Don't do childish things like "block" her on Facebook...etc... Just stop contacting her all the time as she has quite firmly asked you to do. Turn away from her, and stay turned away. From what I gather, you have many common friends and you have social circles that touch either other's lives, so you you will undoubtedly cross paths with her again, and that's fine, and why you should'nt be worried about her "forgetting" about you. And if you DID treat her shabbily, then she needs alot of time to get over the negatives she connects with her experience with you. She may get over them, she may not. Nothing you can do about that. Just live your life, be a better person, and see this as a learning experience.

[whoami33]

If u read u would see that I have gone no contact lol .. idk why u guys are all bashing me

 

You haven't changed your ways if she's been seeing you, hanging out, etc and after the end of that period tells you "please leave me alone im only going to ask you this once .

 

Many people after putting up with poor treatment too long have had an epiphany. People who want to get back with an ex often claim to. They realize that people claim this because they miss sex, want to 'win" something back etc, but will most likely revert to their sorry old ways.

 

They also know about the AA mantras and that people don't change after a couple of days/weeks. They also just won't want you back because of the bad taste left behind, regardless of if you've changed or not.. Go No Contact before she files a restraining order.

[whoami33]

Yeah that's exactly how I see things going, I'm really not expecting anything from her in the future and if she does end up coming back or reaching out then great! .. but I do agree that she does need space to let go of all the negative. Over time she'll get over this maybe not fully but enough to become friends one day in the future maybe even months from now.

 

How old are you and her?

Just read through all of these posts. You need to just let her go, focus on improving yourself and being a better guy so you will be that much better equipped to be a great dating partner for the next girl who comes around - and there will be a "next" one for sure. Just accept that you have blown it with her, at least for now, and move on. Don't do childish things like "block" her on Facebook...etc... Just stop contacting her all the time as she has quite firmly asked you to do. Turn away from her, and stay turned away. From what I gather, you have many common friends and you have social circles that touch either other's lives, so you you will undoubtedly cross paths with her again, and that's fine, and why you should'nt be worried about her "forgetting" about you. And if you DID treat her shabbily, then she needs alot of time to get over the negatives she connects with her experience with you. She may get over them, she may not. Nothing you can do about that. Just live your life, be a better person, and see this as a learning experience.

[whoami33]

Can I ask you a question??

 

She probably regrets telling you she misses you because it opens doors. She probably does miss you but once she admitted it you started moving closer (not your fault) and it pushed her away. Now she's going cold and saying don't contact me because she can feel you guys getting closer which is painful

 

I wouldnt suggest anything drastic like blocking her. Just DO NOT CONTACT HER. let her miss you. I bet she will and then she'll reach out. If she doesn't, move on. But if she does be sure to be really chill and not overly clingy/desperate to get back with her. If she says things like "I miss you" then great. Ask her if she'd like to meet for coffee and chat.

 

Also, it takes a long time to change. She's not going to believe that you've changed in a week or even a month. Maybe you can if you really focus on yourself and you can prove it to her if your time comes again.

 

People do get back together. But not often.

[Capricorn3]

Long story short I was just really disrespectful, I was really controlling, I was always going out with friends drinking and arguing a lot.. I was just a terrible bf. When we would argue she would cry a lot.. I was just a monster back then..

 

How can I show her I changed my ways? How would she see

 

When you read the parts in bold, would YOU want to date you? People don't change that fast - it takes many many months, even years, to make a full turn-around.

 

I don't think she cares or wants to know how much you have "changed". She has been left with a very very bitter taste of what a relationship was like with you, and if she has any sense, she'll head for the hills and never look back. She has learned a lesson (hopefully). It is best you learn too. If you truly have been making changes, then carry on doing that, but not with the idea of winning her back. You have to do it for you.

[whoami33]

Yes that was always the motive. Thank you for this..

 

When you read the parts in bold, would YOU want to date you? People don't change that fast - it takes many many months, even years, to make a full turn-around.

 

I don't think she cares or wants to know how much you have "changed". She has been left with a very very bitter taste of what a relationship was like with you, and if she has any sense, she'll head for the hills and never look back. She has learned a lesson (hopefully). It is best you learn too. If you truly have been making changes, then carry on doing that, but not with the idea of winning her back. You have to do it for you.