Guys point of view!!

[Newlife33]

Ok new here!! I have been with my bf for a year. Sex for the first 8 months was earth shattering ! I have know all along that he takes meds for a medical condition, that has been under control for over ten years.

 

In the last few months he has backed off sex a lot. We still touch, cuddle and play; but he is never in the mood for sex. He says he is having trouble keeping an erection. And when he does have one. It takes a long time to cum.

 

I'm being very supportive, but it's been like 6 weeks and I've been turn down numerous time.

 

Just wonder from a mans point of view. How to handle this

[Wiseman2]

Has there been any changes in his health or medications? Would he be an appropriate candidate for viagra type drugs? Was he on it when you first dated? How old is he?

 

It sounds like he's willing to talk about it and it sounds physical. He's only avoiding sex because of the frustration, not because there's something wrong with the relationship.

Sex for the first 8 months was earth shattering ! I have know all along that he takes meds for a medical condition, that has been under control for over ten years. He says he is having trouble keeping an erection. And when he does have one. It takes a long time to cum

[gebaird]

An inability to "perform" is very hard for a guy to deal with. It's like taking away his man card. My guess is that he's either disconnecting from his feelings or he's dealing with a lot of shame.

 

If the relationship is good otherwise, be patient and loving and try not to take his rejection personally. It's probably just hard for him to confront those feelings of failure each time you ask. I think it's worth a gentle and loving conversation, maybe a trip to the doc for him and a lot of understanding on your part.

 

Sorry you are going through this.

[j.man]

He's done ****ing like a rabbit. Take it for what it is.

[Rising100]

I always say its health, is this a side effect of his medications?

At least he is open to talk about it.

So I have to ask... how is he doing health wise?

Is he physically active?

Does he watch porn?

[Searching88]

This is tough and I fully understand your frustration. Intimacy is a huge part of a relationship to me. I can't speak for your bf but I would want my gf to talk to me about it. It might be tough to bring up. I'm a very "get things done" kind of guy and I would absolutely have to figure out how to fix the issue. I'm extremely physically active and have a monstrous libido so I couldn't accept performance issues without knowing I did everything I could to solve them. As the above poster said, does he watch porn, does he masturbate that you know of? If yes to both, there might be other intimacy issues.