90 Days No Contact Log

[Andrew626]

March 8, 2:32 PM . . . That was the last time she contacted me. I did not reply because her contact was simply to say goodbye after I wrote to told her I will let go. We both told each other not to contact the other because we were not getting our needs met by staying in contact. The only way to heal is to let go and No Contact. With the time zone I am in that means I will now be "celebrating" 4 full days of No Contact at 2:32 PM today.

 

It does not feel like a celebration but its getting better. I find myself doing the things that I used to do before I met my ex. Some of that is good and some not so. This is the longest I have not been in contact with "her" in 3 and a half hears. It means she is not mine any more (big surprise to me but everyone else in the world knows that already). It also means she never will be again (big pain to adapt to that).

 

So I am writing in this thread to keep track of my progress. I think we are done. I think we are both healing. I think we are both determined to go No Contact. I KNOW we are both addicted to communicating with each other and both wishes the other will contact them. Lets not do that.

Well the ball is in your court. You have the power to move on for good. You're stronger than you think

[Shadowbite]

I'm almost at 90 days. I'll make sure to update how I feel here once I hit the mark.

[Andrew626]

I'm almost at 90 days. I'll make sure to update how I feel here once I hit the mark.

Has she contacted you during the 90 days?

[Andrew626]

Well I'm sitting here alone. I have no friends. I am starting to hate the weekends

[mark89]

Hi Andrew. I chanced upon your thread and am shocked that since December last year till now, it didn't seem like you're over her yet. I went through something similar, just that I saw both the guy and my ex together being lovey dovey, and she said to my face that she didn't feel like she loved me in the 4 years we were together. My only advice is that time heals everything, but only when you decide that life is exciting and worth living, and that you have made the promise to yourself to move on from the past and never look back, will the healing truly start. Another thing I found useful was to actually man up. Don't wallow in self pity. Don't say that you have no friends and you're lonely and life sucks. Man up and take charge of your life. This forum can only provide so much in terms of consolation, but if it reminds you of what you went through, don't hesitate to disappear and live your life. I'm sure the other forumers will be happy for you if you're able to do that too.

[Andrew626]

Hi Andrew. I chanced upon your thread and am shocked that since December last year till now, it didn't seem like you're over her yet. I went through something similar, just that I saw both the guy and my ex together being lovey dovey, and she said to my face that she didn't feel like she loved me in the 4 years we were together. My only advice is that time heals everything, but only when you decide that life is exciting and worth living, and that you have made the promise to yourself to move on from the past and never look back, will the healing truly start. Another thing I found useful was to actually man up. Don't wallow in self pity. Don't say that you have no friends and you're lonely and life sucks. Man up and take charge of your life. This forum can only provide so much in terms of consolation, but if it reminds you of what you went through, don't hesitate to disappear and live your life. I'm sure the other forumers will be happy for you if you're able to do that too.

Well we got back together January (my mistake) and she left me for the other guy again...so it hasn't been that long

[mark89]

Well ok at least you tried. I'm sure you're convinced now that it won't work out with that girl anymore? The mind is a powerful thing. I'm going through a breakup myself and I found that visualisation really helps. Coupled with my belief in the law of attraction, my heart and mind is able to handle the situation much better. You have to start believing that your destiny is in your own hands. That you deserve only the best. And you do bro. Fight it with all you have.

[Andrew626]

Well ok at least you tried. I'm sure you're convinced now that it won't work out with that girl anymore? The mind is a powerful thing. I'm going through a breakup myself and I found that visualisation really helps. Coupled with my belief in the law of attraction, my heart and mind is able to handle the situation much better. You have to start believing that your destiny is in your own hands. That you deserve only the best. And you do bro. Fight it with all you have.

Yes I've accepted that it's over for good

[FooledAgain]

4 Days of no contact and I'm going nuts wanting to contact her. Out of sheer coincidence I found this inspiring image that I will share here. Others may get inspired by it too.

[ATTACH=CONFIG]11315[/ATTACH]

[Andrew626]

4 Days of no contact and I'm going nuts wanting to contact her. Out of sheer coincidence I found this inspiring image that I will share here. Others may get inspired by it too.

[ATTACH=CONFIG]11315[/ATTACH]

Welcome to your new reality. Your mind has to be in control of your heart. It's tough but we'll make it

[FooledAgain]

Welcome to your new reality. Your mind has to be in control of your heart. It's tough but we'll make it

 

Yes we will. We need to get our hearts/emotions back under control or we will be no good to ourselves or any other relationship partner.

[FooledAgain]

OK, I got to day 5 and could not do it. I had to contact her. I simply asked if we could be friends and she could tell me how things are going once in a while. She replied that I was the one to initiate this No Contact deal so if I want to change it then its fine with her.

 

I would like to think that I can handle hearing from her once in a while and still continue moving on with my life. But I think its just my addiction over-riding my common sense.

 

I tried all the tricks that have been mentioned to me about rewarding myself etc. Before contacting her I went out for a massage as a reward for reaching Day 5. Then I saw a girl who looked like my ex from behind (it wasn't her of course) and I started craving contact once again.

 

So now I see what happens next. I've had my 'fix' by contacting her and she replied. I responded and now I wait to see where it goes. These 'fixes' are so temporary that I already crave the next contact. One thing I DID learn is that I crave contact from her more than she seems to need it from me. After all. It was 5 days and I was the one to break the deal.

[Shadowbite]

OK, I got to day 5 and could not do it. I had to contact her. I simply asked if we could be friends and she could tell me how things are going once in a while. She replied that I was the one to initiate this No Contact deal so if I want to change it then its fine with her.

I would like to think that I can handle hearing from her once in a while and still continue moving on with my life. But I think its just my addiction over-riding my common sense.

 

I tried all the tricks that have been mentioned to me about rewarding myself etc. Before contacting her I went out for a massage as a reward for reaching Day 5. Then I saw a girl who looked like my ex from behind (it wasn't her of course) and I started craving contact once again.

 

So now I see what happens next. I've had my 'fix' by contacting her and she replied. I responded and now I wait to see where it goes. These 'fixes' are so temporary that I already crave the next contact. One thing I DID learn is that I crave contact from her more than she seems to need it from me. After all. It was 5 days and I was the one to break the deal.

 

You're glutton for punishment. I do understand when days feel like eternity due to pain, but in reality 5 days isn't too long.

"I would like to think that I can handle hearing from her once in awhile and still continue moving on with my life."

Feel free to do what you want, just realize what you're doing.

[Shadowbite]

Has she contacted you during the 90 days?

 

I've received a lot of smoke signals, and at one point unknown calls. Other than that, No. The relationship is beyond exhausted so It's better if she doesn't tbqh.

 

However, I would respect her a lot more if she apologized at the very least. Although if she did, I'm pretty jaded to the point where I'm not sure if I would believe it.

[Andrew626]

I've received a lot of smoke signals, and at one point unknown calls. Other than that, No. The relationship is beyond exhausted so It's better if she doesn't tbqh.

 

However, I would respect her a lot more if she apologized at the very least. Although if she did, I'm pretty jaded to the point where I'm not sure if I would believe it.

Well today is day 22 NC since I sent that apology text. I haven't been contacted once by her. She screwed me over and moved on with someone else. That's how life goes. I gotta learn to not give second chances in the future...I won't be in a relationship for a long time. I simply want to focus on me.

[Loralora]

OK, I got to day 5 and could not do it. I had to contact her. I simply asked if we could be friends and she could tell me how things are going once in a while. She replied that I was the one to initiate this No Contact deal so if I want to change it then its fine with her.

 

I would like to think that I can handle hearing from her once in a while and still continue moving on with my life. But I think its just my addiction over-riding my common sense.

 

I tried all the tricks that have been mentioned to me about rewarding myself etc. Before contacting her I went out for a massage as a reward for reaching Day 5. Then I saw a girl who looked like my ex from behind (it wasn't her of course) and I started craving contact once again.

 

So now I see what happens next. I've had my 'fix' by contacting her and she replied. I responded and now I wait to see where it goes. These 'fixes' are so temporary that I already crave the next contact. One thing I DID learn is that I crave contact from her more than she seems to need it from me. After all. It was 5 days and I was the one to break the deal.

 

Why did you break up? And who iniciated the break up?

[Loralora]

Well today is day 22 NC since I sent that apology text. I haven't been contacted once by her. She screwed me over and moved on with someone else. That's how life goes. I gotta learn to not give second chances in the future...I won't be in a relationship for a long time. I simply want to focus on me.

 

You've gotten very far in NC. Keep going.

 

Focusimg on yourself and working on your self is always good!

 

You never know who might cross your path and blow your mind away...never say never to love!

[Andrew626]

You've gotten very far in NC. Keep going.

 

Focusimg on yourself and working on your self is always good!

 

You never know who might cross your path and blow your mind away...never say never to love!

Thank you so much for your support. I'm staying extremely busy with my business

[Bob2526]

I'm on day 38 of no contact. The past couple days have been pretty hard as I was told she's dating a co worker. Initially I wanted to find out who it was but thought it doesn't even matter at this point. It's gotten better with time but I still think about her every now and then. I keep wondering when she will stop popping into my mind. IT really sucks. I put myself on a couple of dating apps but I still don't feel ready to date. I just hope everyone is right when they say that love will show up when you don't expect it. I've been keeping my head up and gain more confidence day by day.

 

Andrew, thanks for starting this thread. Everything will work out the way it's supposed to and the pain will eventually go away. It's bad that I wish I could fast forward my life to speed up this process. Next week will be 3 months since our break up and i don't know if where I need to be at this point. I guess everyone handles this differently. Just have to keep pushing thru. She's moving on and i need to do the same.

[Andrew626]

I'm on day 38 of no contact. The past couple days have been pretty hard as I was told she's dating a co worker. Initially I wanted to find out who it was but thought it doesn't even matter at this point. It's gotten better with time but I still think about her every now and then. I keep wondering when she will stop popping into my mind. IT really sucks. I put myself on a couple of dating apps but I still don't feel ready to date. I just hope everyone is right when they say that love will show up when you don't expect it. I've been keeping my head up and gain more confidence day by day.

 

Andrew, thanks for starting this thread. Everything will work out the way it's supposed to and the pain will eventually go away. It's bad that I wish I could fast forward my life to speed up this process. Next week will be 3 months since our break up and i don't know if where I need to be at this point. I guess everyone handles this differently. Just have to keep pushing thru. She's moving on and i need to do the same.

This thread has helped me tremendously. Also staying busy and working until I'm pouring sweat and have calluses on my hands helps too haha

[mark89]

Day 6 of NC for me. I'm going crazy thinking about her constantly and I know too this is just a phase and I'll get better with time.. Just gotta hang in there..

[StuartM1]

Im into the 8th day of no contact and am feeling depressed. I was with my ex for 4 years living together for 3 and over the past few months she was growing distant and disrespecting my feelings by having guys "friends" from her work back in our house partying when i was out on nightshift. At one stage a few months back she admitted to liking a guy, a guy that is in and out of rehab for cocaine abuse, a guy that give her and let her take acid alone in the house, again when i was at work. When i threatened to leave her because of this guy, she cried and pleeded with me that she didnt want him she wanted me and wouldnt speak to him again.

 

She,s 24 and over the past 3 years she lost her 18 year old brother to a freak accident whilst drunk and a year ago her alcholic mum to suicide. I done my very best for her through these hard times always putting her needs before my own and a month ago sorting her out to see a grief councellor. Wee split the end of feb after a night of her partying in our house i put to her that i cant take this anymore im 29 years old i just want an easy life and want u to understand by what your doing is hurting me.

 

I felt she was drifting away and didnt care anymore. When i threatened to leave she said, she didnt care. She said that she cant give me what i need and that she wants to be own her own. She says she doesnt want to have someone to answer to all the time. She also said that she feels she cant be herself around me and that she feels i dont like her which is nonsense, i loved the girl. What i didny like was her reckless behaviour, taking drugs, being out at parties and me coming home in the morning not knowing where she is. She cant handle her drink and i was always worried something bad happened to her. Her total disrespect to me and carelessness towards the end is what made me cold towards her at times.

 

When she says she couldnt be herself around me i think its because i was against the drugs and partying etc, me being 29 and her 24, i think i was just alot maturer than her. Im the type of guy that wears his heart on his sleeve and done absolutly everything for her and i think at times she took me for granted. I already suffer from social anxiety and mild depression so im finding this breakup really difficult.

 

Throughout NC im wondering if shes feeling the way i feel, does she miss, does she regret breaking up with me, does she miss me etc. I still love and care for her alot and know past all the issues over the past few months shes a really food girl whos just went through alot in her life, especially recently. I just dont understand how she cant just end everything so quickly, everythinh we had, and had done. We were speaking about kids and gettin married within the next year. Im just lost can someone please give me some perspective on this and some hope if any.

[Andrew626]

Im into the 8th day of no contact and am feeling depressed. I was with my ex for 4 years living together for 3 and over the past few months she was growing distant and disrespecting my feelings by having guys "friends" from her work back in our house partying when i was out on nightshift. At one stage a few months back she admitted to liking a guy, a guy that is in and out of rehab for cocaine abuse, a guy that give her and let her take acid alone in the house, again when i was at work. When i threatened to leave her because of this guy, she cried and pleeded with me that she didnt want him she wanted me and wouldnt speak to him again.

 

She,s 24 and over the past 3 years she lost her 18 year old brother to a freak accident whilst drunk and a year ago her alcholic mum to suicide. I done my very best for her through these hard times always putting her needs before my own and a month ago sorting her out to see a grief councellor. Wee split the end of feb after a night of her partying in our house i put to her that i cant take this anymore im 29 years old i just want an easy life and want u to understand by what your doing is hurting me.

 

I felt she was drifting away and didnt care anymore. When i threatened to leave she said, she didnt care. She said that she cant give me what i need and that she wants to be own her own. She says she doesnt want to have someone to answer to all the time. She also said that she feels she cant be herself around me and that she feels i dont like her which is nonsense, i loved the girl. What i didny like was her reckless behaviour, taking drugs, being out at parties and me coming home in the morning not knowing where she is. She cant handle her drink and i was always worried something bad happened to her. Her total disrespect to me and carelessness towards the end is what made me cold towards her at times.

 

When she says she couldnt be herself around me i think its because i was against the drugs and partying etc, me being 29 and her 24, i think i was just alot maturer than her. Im the type of guy that wears his heart on his sleeve and done absolutly everything for her and i think at times she took me for granted. I already suffer from social anxiety and mild depression so im finding this breakup really difficult.

 

Throughout NC im wondering if shes feeling the way i feel, does she miss, does she regret breaking up with me, does she miss me etc. I still love and care for her alot and know past all the issues over the past few months shes a really food girl whos just went through alot in her life, especially recently. I just dont understand how she cant just end everything so quickly, everythinh we had, and had done. We were speaking about kids and gettin married within the next year. Im just lost can someone please give me some perspective on this and some hope if any.

Just be sure to take care of yourself and focus on you. Don't worry about her anymore. She's making her own choices and throwing out a nice guy like you was her mistake to live with.

[Andrew626]

Day 26 NC today which matches the longest I've ever gone without talking to her... kind of good that I hadn't thought about her constantly the past few days

[Bob2526]

Day 26 NC today which matches the longest I've ever gone without talking to her... kind of good that I hadn't thought about her constantly the past few days

 

Keep it up Andrew. It does really get better with time. Thoughts will still be there but it does get easier!