How to cope in the modern era

[rapunzel]

Act "as if" everything is great, all the time.

 

Never admit weakness, fear or failure.

 

Never express negative emotions, act extremely happy and content and as if everything is going peachy keen, no matter the circumstances.

 

Lie through your teeth about your true feelings or negative emotions, especially to family and "friends".

 

Don't give out too much private information as it will surely end up in the form of gossip, especially with "friends".

 

Never admit you are done striving and achieving and have nothing left to prove. You must always be striving to "better" yourself. Smile, keep your mouth shut.

 

Be constantly active, go go go. If you need to time to rest and relax, don't admit it to other people. Just smile and be pleasant, always.

 

If you suffer from a chronic physical ailment, keep it to yourself. No one wants to hear about it. Find an online support group where you can complain anonymously.

 

When dealing with "friends" and family, try not to take what they say and do personally…even though this feels virtually impossible.

 

Read "The Four Agreements" each night before you go to bed. What others do and say is about them, and not about you.

 

Always Do Your Best. Even if it is not what others think is your "best".

 

When it all feels like too much, and you feel darkness descending and very bleak thoughts occupy your mind, try to remember there is always someone who is much worse off than you.

 

Think positive, no matter what. There is a light at the end of the tunnel.

 

Laugh whenever possible, even when you are being mercilessly judged and criticized. Never judge or criticize other people. Take the high road, even when it is difficult.

 

Practice random acts of kindness.

 

There is no Rule Book for your life. Take the road less traveled, even if it means you face judgment and criticism. Very few famous people in history did what they were told or what was expected of them.

 

Get direct sunshine for at least 10 minutes each day, whenever possible.

 

Sit quietly in nature whenever possible.

 

Eat your fruits and vegetables, all organic if possible.

 

Avoid negative, judgmental, competitive people at all costs.

 

If things feel bleak, disappear and hibernate until you feel ready to face people again. Don't feel guilty about this.

 

In times of darkness, when it all feels too much, repeat to yourself: "This Too Shall Pass".

[journeynow]

Some of these work for me, too. Specifically, these 6701888]When dealing with "friends" and family, try not to take what they say and do personally.

 

What others do and say is about them, and not about you.

 

Do Your Best. Even if it is not what others think is your "best".

 

Take the high road, even when it is difficult.

 

Practice random acts of kindness.

 

There is no Rule Book for your life.

 

Get direct sunshine for at least 10 minutes each day, whenever possible.

 

Sit quietly in nature whenever possible.

 

Eat your fruits and vegetables, all organic if possible.

 

In times of darkness, when it all feels too much, repeat to yourself: "This Too Shall Pass".

 

Also, meditate. Reach out to others; connect with others. Move, get physical exercise of some sort daily.

 

 

[Di_ya2009]

This is why more and more people have mental illness. People cannot openly talk anymore because it's labelled as being "negative".

[rapunzel]

This is why more and more people have mental illness. People cannot openly talk anymore because it's labelled as being "negative".

 

Yes, you may have picked up on some of my sarcasm. It was mainly a vent, because I have been experiencing this lately and I don't feel I can express myself freely despite having some difficulties, including physical.

 

I don't wish to take an antidepressant so I am going to soldier through, think and act positive and smile, smile, smile.

[rapunzel]

Some of these work for me, too. Specifically, these:

 

Also, meditate. Reach out to others; connect with others. Move, get physical exercise of some sort daily.

 

 

 

Yes, yes, yes exercise and fresh air. Yes, meditate (I'm not very good at this but am going to try…)

 

Agree with reaching out to others, but be very careful who you share information with. Some people can't handle the truth and will use it against you. Sad but true.

 

I was being sarcastic as a way of coping. ;-)

[DancingFool]

....sounds like you need to find some new people and make different friends in your life.....

 

Your life and reality are only what you make it to be.....and you choose your friends....always.....

[rapunzel]

....sounds like you need to find some new people and make different friends in your life.....

 

Your life and reality are only what you make it to be.....and you choose your friends....always.....

 

Yes, you are absolutely correct. Thank you. Changes are already in progress. The only problem is, you can't choose your family. ;-)

[journeynow]

Yes, meditate (I'm not very good at this but am going to try…)

 

I don't know anyone who has ever said they are a pro at meditating. It's one of those things...

 

I don't think you have to fake happiness. But, yes, filter what you share. Not to be fake, but understand they are people, too, just like you, and it's tricky being human. We cope and deal with stress and try to make sense and find our way in the world, but it's tricky. Not everyone sees things the same way, may have past experiences that color the way they interpret incoming information. Some people will latch onto something you share and not let you forget it, call you out on it in some way at another time, or judge you for it.

 

Maybe I used to have a greater tolerance for others "negativity" but I've learned I have to be careful that I don't take it on as my own or then dump it on other people.

 

Two books I found useful (which I read as part of some short courses I took, so the setting and discussion were helpful) are "Buddha's Brain: The Practical Neuroscience of Happiness, Love, and Wisdom" and "How We Choose to Be Happy: The 9 Choices of Extremely Happy People—Their Secrets, Their Stories". Our brains are wired to remember negative situations (since it is useful for our survival) and while we may experience just as much, if not more, positive situations, it is harder for those to be retained of our long term memory. We "rewire" our brains when we pause to reflect and remember positive things, and that rewiring can change our overall experience (the way we cope with the world). It's why I started a gratitude practice several years ago, ( ) and that made a big impact on me. I would add that to your list. From the outside a gratitude practice may look like a "thank you" list. But internally, the experience can be much much more expansive, and a release from negativity, at least for the moment. (And that can feel like a vacation.)

 

However, I empathize. It's hard when those you thought you could trust let you down.

[j.man]

....sounds like you need to find some new people and make different friends in your life.....

 

Your life and reality are only what you make it to be.....and you choose your friends....always.....

This is pretty much word-for-word what was going through my mind reading all that. Good to see you're taking steps to make changes.

 

And, no, you can't choose your family, but you can choose your exposure. Blood doesn't command relations.

[rapunzel]

Thanks, these are helpful reminders. Everyone interprets things differently and from their own personal experience.

 

Thank you also for the book and other recommendations.

[DancingFool]

Yes, you are absolutely correct. Thank you. Changes are already in progress. The only problem is, you can't choose your family. ;-)

 

No but you can distance yourself and when you do that, often times the family relationships improve by a mile or more. Stick to phone calls and holidays.

[Seraphim]

I don't know . I find being me in the old era and new era best . Don't like me. Shrug, I don't care. Billions of folks in the world.