My ex boyfriend just spontaneously blocked me just now on facebook..why?

[jennydanielle7]

I hope you follow what everyone else is saying on here; you are pretty much thinking on your own consideration and not his. Leave the poor guy alone. Ever heard of the saying, "Never be friends with an ex"? Well it's a very important saying for a reason!

 

Leave him alone and concentrate on your own life.

[ShatteredMan]

He doesn't need you to be his therapist or relationship adviser, OP. Especially given your history with him, you are in no position to be telling him how to handle his love life.

Completely agree. He's probably trying to work things out with his ex fiance anyway.

 

Why would he take you back after what you did to him originally? You weren't serious about him in the first place, and now that you're missing him it's clear that you're still trying to manipulate the situation to make yourself feel good..

 

If I were in his shoes, I would find it very hard to trust you. That trust to take a lot of time and effort to build back up to the point where I would say that I would want a relationship with you.

 

I know this sounds harsh, but I often wrestle with whether or not I would take my ex back after she has now moved on with someone else. If she came back and started communicating with me out of the blue, I would be highly suspicious. It would take a lot for me to build that trust back up with her.

 

Now I know that I'm just interjecting my own feelings about my own situation here, but it's slightly similar to what I've been hoping would happen in terms of reconciliation with my ex. I've had some time to think and analyze the situation for myself and I'm not the same guy that I was in that relationship. This guy maybe thinking the same thing.

 

It also doesn't sound like you taking the time your self to fix or let yourself grow in positive ways since this relationship ended. You're just looking to jump into something that is familiar and easy. This never works.

 

Take time to let yourself heal and find new ways to grow. Do not concentrate on getting back with this guy or anyone else for the time being. Find some goals, spend some time in church, read scripture and develop your relationship with the Lord.

 

Normally I don't get too preachy, but this is what I'm working on personally for myself. I know that this direction isn't for anyone and I'm not here to convert or condemn anyone.

 

I hope you find your own way no matter what that is period stopped wondering what is going on in the mind of this guy and fill the space that you need (regardless of what it is that he occupied) with something else.

[catfeeder]

Sounds as though the guy started sensing the manipulation and decided to opt out of that.

 

I'd move my focus onto meeting new people. You're not 'serving' this guy by inserting yourself into his breakup, much less with your own agenda.

 

Head high, and move FORward.

[shatteredddd]

explain to me how im being manipulative??

[shatteredddd]

explain to me how im selfish. how is caring about others selfish?

[Sarah Whittle]

I am not going to sugarcoat this, just a warning.

 

You are co-dependent and always looking for the better option, that is why you dumped him in the first place. You are being selfish in that you sought him out after having been rejected by your other Ex and wanted him to boost your ego. If he was the one you wanted to be with, then you shouldn't have dumped him in the first place. You are being manipulative by contacting him, inserting yourself into his current breakup, and acting as a 'shoulder to cry on' and he started to see through the act. You are looking for something to boost your ego and confidence by seeking out someone you thought would welcome your advances and attention. Well, it back-fired.

 

You need to respect his wishes and leave him alone. You dumped him for someone else - end of story. You don't get to dictate how he feels about you.

 

You need to back off and focus solely on yourself and your own healing. You aren't going to find validation in another person, only yourself.

[Tanzi]

explain to me how im selfish. how is caring about others selfish?

 

This is not about you caring for him, it is about you seeing an opening and a way to get him back. Therefore this is not about HIS feelings, it is about YOURS.

[Tanzi]

OP you need to be really, really honest with yourself.

 

You said this ....

 

"i wanted to be friends , nothing more . Yes i do have feelings for him but i wasnt going to push that on him because he did not want a relationship for a long time because of her "

 

So although you might not be pushing for anything else right now, the hope that it will eventually become something more is DEFINITELY there. You may have been able to convince yourself that you want nothing more than friendship but you are going to have a much harder time convincing us (and even him now, so it seems). Besides, as hard as it is to hear, he probably has no interest in being friends with you. It was probably nice to hear your words of hope in the beginning but whatever it is that you are offering isn't really on his agenda. Heck, he is probably trying the whole "friends" thing with his ex-fiancee and that isn't going to happen with you in the picture is it?

 

Whichever way you look at it, YOU are not the one he wants in his life .... SHE is ... and if that means blocking you out then he will do so. As far as he is concerned, this situation isn't about YOU, it is about his ex-fiancee. You are his ex-ex .... one who has popped up out of nowhere with expectations of friendship while he is trying to deal with a more current break-up.

 

You need to understand where HE is at the moment and take yourself completely out of the picture. If, by some chance, friendship really was all that you wanted, then why concern yourself so over him? After all, he is not a "friend" in the true sense of the word is he? He is an ex.

[catfeeder]

explain to me how im being manipulative??

 

You've already done a great job of explaining that to us.

[ThereIsOnlyNow]

Your behavior and lack of insight into its effect on others is exactly why Restraining Orders exist.

 

I read your thread because I was trying to develop some understanding and compassion for your position.

 

Others on this thread have put a lot of time and energy into trying to help you. You are not ready for the feedback that is offered here. You are looking for justification for your persistent and intrusive behavior and it is just another example of your manipulation.

[Wiseman2]

When the motive behind this supposed altruism is to get back with him it's manipulative. It's like a used car salesman pretending to be your best friend so he can make a sale, not because he wants to be your friend.

explain to me how im selfish. how is caring about others selfish? explain to me how im being manipulative??