Very depressed - just venting

[Lotusavx]

Mostly just venting here.. I know this post won't make sense to anyone but if anyone has a reply or words of encouragement it would be very appreciated. Lately I have been very overwhelmed and depressed. Overwhelmed with school mostly, but school isn't where the issues really are. Over the past 2 weeks, I have been helping a friend of mine move to her new place with her boyfriend. I started seeing the friend of her boyfriend who is living with them as a room mate. My best friend, someone I have known for many years suddenly turned on me and told me "I would have to start paying rent if I'm going to be sleeping over" (I slept over two times on the weekends in the duration that they have lived there) I was so shocked to see that text from my friend. She and her boyfriend set me up with his friend, it ended up working out and now she is telling me I have to pay rent to sleep over with him once in a while? I have no idea why, but reading that message hit me like a ton of bricks, mostly because of her immaturity and not being nice about it or telling me in person. Some more negativity piled on top of that, my dad who only ever talks to me when he needs to borrow money messaged me and asked to borrow some money. Being in college and living off student loans and working only 3 days a week, I told him I was unable to help. I feel very guilty. It is making me even more depressed knowing he is going to come to my work and ask me for money there (he is very mentally ill). I have been embarrassed so many times by him showing up to my work and me having to tell him to leave. I feel like today so many negative things have happened and I am so depressed that I won't be able to come out of it. I seen wedding photos of someone on my facebook and it also hit me that I am most likely never going to be as happy as them and never have the opportunities that others have just because of how my life went though my childhood (Which I didn't have any control over) and my teens.

[Kaykayxo]

I feel you. It can be hard to be an "optimist" when you have y friends and come from a dysfunctional family/lack the support system most people receive from their parents. I often think to myself how awful I have it compared to some people and how it is so unfair, and that even though I am in Uni, I will never achieve true prosperity because of where I come from.

 

Truth is, bad things happen and certain situations suck. That's all I've learned. All people will offer me is the truth that thinking myself into a rut/dwelling on the bad aspects won't change a thing. I realize this is true but it is what it is.

 

I think you need to tell your friend the truth: what she said was rude and unnecessary. What type of friend says such a thing? Do you think she was prodded by her boyfriend, perhaps? Do they own the place? That is ridiculous. Unless you were staying there 24/7, running up their water and hyrdo bills, I see no harm. Especially if the visits have been limited. She is out of line and witchy of her to say to a good friend. As for your dad, what does he suffer from? If he is causing you distress/showing up at your workplace you may need to have a serious talk with him. Is he on meds? Do you have a good relationship with him? Depending on the nature of his actions I would either force him to seek mental help or cut him off entirley and ask your employers to ban him from your place of work. Sounds harsh, but he is using you as a crutch and clearly not in the right state mentally.

 

Things do get better. Life is a constant flow of good things, bad things, feeling happy, feeling hopeless...for me anyway. Some days are better than others. I know that there will be better days ahead, and I remind myself of that on the particularly rough days. Dwelling does nothing, but sometimes we do it anyway. That's okay. As for your depression, if you feel it getting serious perhaps you too need to seek help. Do you go to counselling? It may offer you useful coping tips and a listening ear, someone who is trained to help you through the worst of times. Hope you feel better soon

[lucidious]

Sorry you are dealing with a lot of negativity. Yeah I think that's ridiculous to ask you to pay rent and you only slept over a couple times...and by your best friend. I'd be pretty bummed out too and that would probably be the start of the friendship falling out.

 

Hope you feel better! Sending positive vibes & energy your way~~

[Wiseman2]

Unfortunately they may have gotten flack form the landlord about overnight guests. Or the roommates themselves do not want the extra work and food etc costs of having regular overnight guests.

 

Don't shoot the messenger since all of them feel this way and perhaps since you are her friend they asked her to tell you. They may not want you to think this is your weekend escape from living at home and they have to be your free bnb.

 

It's tricky with roommates because everyone might not be on board or thrilled with being cramped by weekend guests etc. It doesn't sounds like they literally want you you pay rent but they may resent the extra groceries, laundry, etc. or just hanging out there all weekend with him.

 

It sounds like the text is discouraging you from doing that before you get too comfortable with the idea of being there to hang out with him all weekend again or on a regular basis.

 

The other issue is why are you dating a guy who is "mentally ill" and showing up to your workplace? Why can't you just date and not stay overnight or the weekend?

 

Or better yet choose your own different guy who doesn't have these problems or live in tight quarters where the roommates may be on a tight budget. Find a guy with his own place.

I started seeing the friend of her boyfriend who is living with them as a room mate. My best friend, told me "I would have to start paying rent if I'm going to be sleeping over" Being in college and living off student loans and working only 3 days a week, I told him I was unable to help. It is making me even more depressed knowing he is going to come to my work and ask me for money there.

[Diggitydave]

Let me re assure you that you will be able to come out of it. Take it from someone who was afraid to leave the house, put blankets over the window shades to make it darker and eventually slit their wrists.

 

This is a bump in the road and you will come out of it.