vhshowdown Posted March 31, 2005 Author Share Posted March 31, 2005 Ok, here is what went down last nite. Nothing was said about her situation or anything. We had a pretty good time, but it seems awkward right now, at least on my part. I had a feeling of despise towards her part of the nite. She was wearing a shirt she used to wear when we together, and the bracelet I gave her for her Bday... She didnt want to meet somewhere, which did force me to her place. It was good, she had some finger food for us. Watched some movie, and talked. Then we went up to the store, and drove around, I showed her a cool spot where you put your car in neutral, and the car rolls UP a hill, pretty cool. Then we called it a nite at my car. No sexual encounters happened but 2 little kisses. She left saying call her. Then she called me late last nite and left a message to make sure I got home thru the storm ok, and she did say she had fun tonite... But there again, I am gonna go by her actions more so than anything else..... Link to comment
codaaurora Posted March 31, 2005 Share Posted March 31, 2005 I find it very interesting that she refused to meet somewhere. The only way I would have done something like that is if I were sure that "he" was mine and would agree to what I wanted. Otherwise, I would have been afraid to take the chance of putting my foot down. The good thing is that you kept her out of your home and put it in her territory, which might sound wrong to some people but it's not the case. In this situation, you are the one who knows what you want and she is the confused one, having you in her home puts her on the spot to perform, to be a good "hostess". If things got out of hand or went further than you wanted to go, you could have gotten up and left (whereas at your home you would have had to ask her to leave or left yourself and that would have caused a bad taste in your mouth). Just keep going the way your going. Don't read into it at all. Judge by her actions and not her words. It's easy to lie verbally, hard to do so physically. Link to comment
vhshowdown Posted March 31, 2005 Author Share Posted March 31, 2005 Thanks for your replies guys. I am still skeptical right now, so I dont plan to talk with her till next week. Well actually, i dont know her work schedule for the next few days, so it will be all taken care of by itself... Now, granted she is making an effort, by giving in to some of my "demands" as she puts it. She has called everyday since Sunday. And I didnt call her Tuesday, so she called me that nite. I just have to remember slow, love is not a race!! Last nite for me at least was all about friendship first, then romance hopefully as a result. (It is hard to not want to hug and kiss her and just have animal sex... LOL) Now, keefy, for your situation, remember the gift of missing you. Be strong, you are doing good. And write an email to her, just do not send it. Then when you are ready to write, you can use parts of the one(s) you already wrote.... The whole point of NC is to get yourself and your thoughts together. Once you do this, then you can talk to her as a friend, and be ok with it, to where you dont feel like you are beating yourself up so much....... Link to comment
codaaurora Posted March 31, 2005 Share Posted March 31, 2005 Excellent Advice V and I'm glad to see that you're following it yourself. I called my ex on Monday to make sure that all was well because his family and friends were calling me, because he wouldn't call them back. We had a great conversation, laughing and joking for about 20-30 mins and then I told him I had to go. I haven't heard from him since. Guys, just keep in mind that you ARE getting responses, that you ARE getting attention. Keep that in mind to help keep your spirits up. Perhaps this will help you in keeping the NC and letting them do the work at obtaining what they were stupid enough in letting go of. Link to comment
vhshowdown Posted March 31, 2005 Author Share Posted March 31, 2005 Excellent Advice V and I'm glad to see that you're following it yourself. I called my ex on Monday to make sure that all was well because his family and friends were calling me, because he wouldn't call them back. We had a great conversation, laughing and joking for about 20-30 mins and then I told him I had to go. I haven't heard from him since. Well coda, that is good you all had a good convo. If you dont hear from him fairly soon, dont hesitate to call him again in a week or two. The same type of convo you had before, no relationship stuff brought up, etc.... This is encouraging, you know. So like you said, we ALL need to keep our spirits up, no matter what does happen. Life is too short, it really is. Today's Quote: There are so many different ways to achieve your ends that you could find yourself being tossed around on a sea of alternatives. Then practice the old "one thing at a time, one day at a time" two-step. Link to comment
vhshowdown Posted April 1, 2005 Author Share Posted April 1, 2005 Works for me keefy, not to mushy or anything, just right. I would send it this weekend. Now dont reply right away when she sends something back.... I had a dream about my EX last nite, woke up in middle of the night and couldnt get back to sleep. I am thinking about calling her up today and asking her out.... what you guys think?? Today's Quote: Procrastination won't get you closer to your goal. Only perseverance will do that. Link to comment
vhshowdown Posted April 1, 2005 Author Share Posted April 1, 2005 Well, ya she wouldnt come out and say she didnt want to go out with me, she would come up with an excuse, like have to work late, or gotta go to her mom's, etc... and then go do whatever she hap planned.... This is the main reason why I am so skeptical right now. She has always been like that, and she gets it from her mom.... I know sometime this weekend, she wants to see the new movie Sin City coming out today, so I could MEET her at the movie theatre.... Link to comment
codaaurora Posted April 1, 2005 Share Posted April 1, 2005 "Hey beautiful. I'm sure that you will get use to the hours in no time. 730 to 4 or whatever, Monday thru Friday....you lucky dog you!! Sure it's overwhelming. Learning something new always is. It's funny you said that about Phil. He does his 4 hours a week on E most of the time and was on my lane a few times. I was always relieved when 8 rolled around and he had to go. He is a nice guy, but Jesus, take time out of your gabbing to breathe. All he wanted to talk about was work. That made it worse. Am glad your Grandmother and Aunt enjoyed the pizza and that you had a nice visit. Did you visit with your cousin, with his band performing at Jannus Landing Thursday night? Heard the DJ's hyping them up on the radio all week. So you might come over to C and work with me sometimes? That would be nice. I'll look forward to it. From what I understand, our shift is going to be 430-100. It isn't as late as A, but at least it IS 15 minutes later than E. So, when you do your 4 hours a week, do you have to come in at the start of the shift or can you come in whenever you normally do?? Can you chose which day to do it? How does that work?? I had my first session of physical therapy today and the therapist reset some part of one of my vertebrae. It was, apparently, stuck in a twisted position thereby causing the muscles to act as a splint for it. (They were in a constant state of spasm). She fixed that, and then, the spasm went away and my back feels awesome right now. A little sore from the exercises she had me do afterwards, but it is a good sore. It will be nice to not worry about how I move or restrict what I do out of fear of pain. Anyways, that's pretty much the update on my situation. I hope you have had a good week and you enjoy your weekend! - XXXXX" Okay, Keefy hon, I hope that you don't mind, but I changed a few things in your email and put it in quotes up above. I was going to take Beautiful out too, but then wondered if your the type of person who says this to anyone you care for or just her? Anyway, I only took out a few little statements out. You absolutely do not have to use my advice, it's just that, advice. V, only know how you or she feels. If you feel the time has come, then go for it. I wish you both luck! Link to comment
codaaurora Posted April 1, 2005 Share Posted April 1, 2005 sorry, stupid quote thing didn't work Link to comment
vhshowdown Posted April 1, 2005 Author Share Posted April 1, 2005 well, I dont know that I would consider it a date date. More just two people meeting up to spend some time together. And this time I will meet her over there, granted if I get a hold of her, and she does want to go... but I like the wording keefy.... I do still have to treat this like a new deal... And it is hard, believe me. Ever since the marriage thing came up, my emotions have been in overdrive, up and down, upside down and all twisted for this girl!! and ya i agree with you coda, on the "beautiful" that is iffy.... Link to comment
codaaurora Posted April 1, 2005 Share Posted April 1, 2005 I won't be offended if, when C opens, you still want to work on A sometimes. I know how you like everyone over there and I won't be too greedy about having you over EVERY week . Would be nice, but I would understand. I took this part out. I didn't like how it sounded, it gave her too much control. Link to comment
codaaurora Posted April 1, 2005 Share Posted April 1, 2005 I just thought I would let you all know, that after 5 days of NC, he called my phone and left me a message, telling me that he was driving by my work and if I looked outside I would probably see him. He then wanted to know when would be a good time/day to come by and see the pets!!! I'm not going to call him back until tomorrow morning probably. I want to call him tonight, but then again not. There have been times when he doesn't call me right back (although, truthfully they are very few). I have plans tomorrow morning and tomorrow afternoon and then am going to the Dodgers / Angel game on Sunday. What is your advice? Should I call him tonight? Should I wait until tomorrow morning? What should I do? He was joking and sounded so happy, like his old self. Link to comment
vhshowdown Posted April 3, 2005 Author Share Posted April 3, 2005 coda, I hope all went well for you with the ex girl. Let us know how everything is when you got some time....... and keefy, did you send the email?? any reply? Link to comment
vhshowdown Posted April 3, 2005 Author Share Posted April 3, 2005 Well keefy, I agree with you. Let her reply again in a few days. Dont always do what they expect. Keep her off balance a little bit, and just see what happens.... It makes alot of sense, dont be so predictable kinda attitude, I like it.... As for me, I never called her. I just had a change of heart. I got to thinking that out of the whole week, I would only see her what, 3-4 hours out of the whole week. Well, to me, it seems like if you wanted to be with someone, you would spend alot more time with them than 3-4 hours a freakin week. So, I am gonna just keep my distance for awhile..... Link to comment
keefy1972 Posted April 3, 2005 Share Posted April 3, 2005 Awesome! I am glad to see you aren't so eager to run to her with arms wide open. Smart move I think. Link to comment
vhshowdown Posted April 4, 2005 Author Share Posted April 4, 2005 Wow, I am glad you didnt send that email keefy. That would not be good. But it does make a difference writing it, but not sending it.... We all have been in that boat. Anger can get the best of at times. It is better to vent, and look back a few hours later, do you still feel the same. You did good keefy. I am in the same situation right now myself. I have been thinking, that when we originally broke up, and I wanted her back, she wouldnt have it. Then she comes back to me a month later, says she wants me back, but then stays for about 30 minutes or so. Well, now we are talking again and the more I think about it, we really have NOT been together for an entire day since we broke up.... I want so bad to let her know this fact, do I tell her or no? It is my MAJOR dilemma in moving forward either with her or without her. I feel like I am at a crossroads here. But it may not even matter, we havent talked since Wed. nite, and neither one has tried to get ahold of the other... so I am thinking she never got rid of the other guy. Link to comment
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