codaaurora Posted March 29, 2005 Share Posted March 29, 2005 No Keefy, I definitely see a problem with that. My ex and I were together for almost 9 years and I got sick of him not being able to decide on the whole marriage thing. I mean, he proposed to me at one time, so he must have wanted to be married, but perhaps, over time, realized he didn't want to be married to me but was just too comfortable in the relationship to move on. Wow, I just had a very profound thought here. This is kind of scary. Perhaps that IS what he realized. Maybe now that he is on his own, whether or not he is missing me for the fun times we had or the comfort of being with someone who really knows you, maybe now he is RELIEVED. He is free. There is a very real and big possiblity that we will never be together again. Oh wow. That one kind of hurts. But you know what? It's ok. We might not be right for each other now, but things could change with this seperation and we would learn and grow from it and BECOME the people we should have been all along and maybe THOSE people are right for each other. Or maybe not. I'm getting to the point that I'm going to be okay with that. Sad, but ok. Florida???? Are you kidding me? My hair would frizz, your state bird (the mosquito) would eat me alive if the crocks don't get to me first!!! And don't you say anything about Earthquakes either! LOL How about we all meet in the middle? Oooo, I know! Fargo looked like a nice place to visit in that movie, yes? Maybe not for the exes, but you know......LOL JK!!! Link to comment
vhshowdown Posted March 29, 2005 Author Share Posted March 29, 2005 Actually florida doesnt sound to bad to me, spent new years down there this year. Played at the Seminole Casino in Tampa and then City Walk Orlando for New Years, we had a blast.... Well, I used to bartend so I could make you the best Lemon Drop you ever had coda, sugar on the rim, lemons squeezed in there, you name it..... LOL. Crown is good keefy, but Im from Tenn, so give me my Jack and Coke.... I will be in Vegas at end of April, meet there!! First coda, you have to learn to get NEVER out of your vocabulary. I said that about my EX, and granted we arent together, but who knows what will happen. And keefy, if they cant say they are together after 8 years, hhhmmm that makes you wonder... I think you definitely will have another chance........ Link to comment
keefy1972 Posted March 29, 2005 Share Posted March 29, 2005 derrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr Link to comment
vhshowdown Posted March 29, 2005 Author Share Posted March 29, 2005 Seminole was real cool, I enjoyed it. Tampa is pretty nice too. Well, I am kinda thinking you all are right. Keep it short and sweet, so I dont put my foot in my mouth again. Now, my problem is I get with her, and I dont want to call it a nite, etc... I enjoy being with her..... Todays Quotes: "If you view a relationship with suspicion or fear, you may poison the well and miss a valid opportunity. Good communication can refine and improve the outcome. Keep the dialogue going, instead of shutting it down." "Remember the proverb "there's no time like the present"? Well, if you discard inefficient setups now, it will save you the trouble of carrying on as though "piece de gateau, all is well" when it isn't, in addition to freeing you up to devise plans that actually have a fighting chance of netting you your heart's desire." Link to comment
vhshowdown Posted March 29, 2005 Author Share Posted March 29, 2005 I know what you are saying keefy, but last time I did that though, we didnt talk for a week after. Now granted she did tell me then that she had a great time when we did talk, but still, that is what is got me on edge.... And I feel like calling her now too.... but I know Id be better if I wait till tomorrow. Link to comment
vhshowdown Posted March 29, 2005 Author Share Posted March 29, 2005 Ya, she has her doubts, that is the problem. If she didnt have someone else to fall back on, things would be different, maybe. I dont know. Link to comment
codaaurora Posted March 29, 2005 Share Posted March 29, 2005 AHHH! VHS, if you call her today, I swear I will SO kick your tail! Drop kick you like poor old Snoopy's doing! hehe Seriously, keep to your plan. It's your move, do you want to loose your turn further down the road? No. Look, this is the hardest thing that you have ever done, but guess what? You've made it this far haven't you? You can take it a little further. The more you distance yourself from this situation, the easier you will find it. But VHS, you aren't ready to be talking with or spending extreme amounts of time with her. You're just like me! When your with her, you don't want it to end...is that healthy? I mean, sure it is in a new relationship, but this is different and you know it. This means that you aren't healed, that you want to be with her because of your feelings for her and not JUST because she is someone fun/great/wonderful to be around with NO STRINGS ATTACHED. Do you understand? Okay, okay, okay, Florida it is, but I'm not coming to the east coast again until Christmas so you guys will just have to party w/out me you punks! Of course being from VA, I've been to Florida, but I only enjoyed my time in Key West, or atleast, I'm pretty sure I had fun! Too Many Bars! LOL Vegas.....believe it or not, I've never been! LOL. Link to comment
keefy1972 Posted March 29, 2005 Share Posted March 29, 2005 derrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr Link to comment
vhshowdown Posted March 29, 2005 Author Share Posted March 29, 2005 True True True. Ok, I havent called, I will wait till tomorrow. I dont need no one kickin my butt coda!! LOL Florida at Christmas time, it will be here before we know it.... Link to comment
codaaurora Posted March 29, 2005 Share Posted March 29, 2005 True True True. Ok, I havent called, I will wait till tomorrow. I dont need no one kickin my butt coda!! LOL Okay being a girl with a lot of competitiveness, can I just say... I WIN I WIN I WIN!!!! LOL Seriously, good choice on deciding to wait on the call VHS. Very proud of your strength! Just remember, that you have us here to care and worry about you. Okay? Link to comment
vhshowdown Posted March 30, 2005 Author Share Posted March 30, 2005 Yep, you won coda. I didnt call. But she did call me late last nite, and we did small talk for half hour or so. She was using a friends cell, so she said she had to let her use it, can she call me back. I told her i was going to sleep, so she was like ok, call me tomorrow then.... I will call sometime today.... I will still meet her somewhere though. I think that should be the plan still. Link to comment
vhshowdown Posted March 30, 2005 Author Share Posted March 30, 2005 That be good keefy. Like you said, definitely wait a little before sending another. And remember, if you do get the urge to write her, do it, just dont send it, so maybe you can go thru a couple rough drafts or something. Keep it to small talk sort of. But ya, we did a lot of small talk on the phone, and I told her some jokes and was joking with her, it was pretty good. Well, actually she called and I had my phone turned off, so I never heard it ring, then all of a sudden she starts talking on my answer machine. She didnt leave a number, so couldnt call back. But she called back about 30 minutes later. Nothing was said about Friday nite, which is cool....... Link to comment
codaaurora Posted March 30, 2005 Share Posted March 30, 2005 VHS, I think you did a great job and am very proud of you. I know how hard it must have been for you to keep the conversation to just a half an hour if it was going good. AND to tell her that you were going to bed when she wanted to call back was excellent. You are becoming more and more in control of you and your own emotions, of what you want and what you are willing to except. You should be very proud of your achievements thus far! I know that I am! Definitely do not call her too early this morning, rather wait until after lunch today. Make sure that you stick with meeting her somewhere neutral. Do not go back to your place or hers for a night cap or anything else of the nature. If she says, lets get a movie, you can suggest going to the movies with her on another night maybe, but I really dont' think you should do anything with her that night. HOWEVER you are going to be the person sitting opposite of her and only you can tell where she is coming from or how she feels. If she starts talking about the situation and seems like she sincerely wants to discuss instead of "prodding" you for information, then by all means discuss. If you feel like it might be heading down the wrong path, CUT IT SHORT. Rein in your emotions, if you have to step away to the restroom. Let her know that you have had an excellent time talking to her, but is it possible that we can continue this some other time? Be nice, cordial and whatever you do, do not let your hurt dominate. I know how hard this is for you V, trust me. But think of it this way, atleast you are in contact with her because she chooses to be in contact with you. Some of us only get to talk to our exes when we break down and break the NC rule. I know that last night and today are already hard for me. I'm missing him today. Hey, I went six days straight feeling pretty darn good though, so am satisfied with that. Keefy, I'm glad that someone special could help you out! Link to comment
vhshowdown Posted March 30, 2005 Author Share Posted March 30, 2005 Ok, have a new twist in the situation. Last nite she said something I really didnt think much about. But she just called me and it makes more sense now. Last nite she said, "well i'm finally free" I didnt know what she was talking about and I didnt ask. Well, now she wants me to come over. I said call me before you get off, and we will talk about it. Well, she never wanted me over before, so now I am thinking dude is out of the picture. So what do you guys think?? What should my plan of action be now? Any different, or accelerate it a little bit, or what?? Link to comment
codaaurora Posted March 30, 2005 Share Posted March 30, 2005 Oh Wow. What a doosy. Well, what are you ready for V? Better yet, what is she ready for? I mean this was last night she said this and last you heard she was still full steam ahead with the other guy, so this must be a recent split? Hmmm, honestly, if you go over there, you know what will happen. Do you want to start fresh with this woman, picking right back up where you left off? If it were me, I would say that while I really do want to come over, I also don't want to make any of the mistakes from the past and have to go through the pain of loosing her all over again. That you want to try something new and "court" her or date her or however you want to say it. Make sure that you let her start this conversation, let her say that she is no longer with this guy, ask her what her reasons are for wanting you over and then go from there. AND please let us know how it goes okay? I'm rooting for you! Link to comment
keefy1972 Posted March 30, 2005 Share Posted March 30, 2005 derrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr Link to comment
vhshowdown Posted March 30, 2005 Author Share Posted March 30, 2005 I kinda knew something was up last week, that is why we talked and saw alot of each other. Well, actually she has been trying to keep me in the picture all along. I always knew she wasnt happy with this guy. Ive said it before, if you start going out with someone new, and its all great, last thing you want is to foul things up, and you arent gonna still be calling and trying to see an EX..... Now Im not saying she isnt using me either for whatever, that has crossed my mind also. And for that very reason, I am not gonna change the game plan here. I will see her tonite, and just make her laugh if I can, have a good time and make sure we want to be together. And let things go from there. Link to comment
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