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Feeling really irritated by cousin who copies everything I do....


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So my cousin has always tried to do similar things I do, which didn't really bother me as much growing up. I took is as me being her older cousin, she looked up to me. But now that we're older I've noticed she copies me A LOT more. I know this may seem trivial to most people, but to me it's just very irritating, annoying and a bit weird to be honest. We all have parts of ourselves that make us "us" and often I felt like she tried to take on those characteristics for herself, when she is just fine the way she is! And more noticeably, she started to change her appearance to look more like me. She has always had really long, straight hair and recently got it cut short and curls it, which is what MINE looks like. I also dyed my hair and she dyed it the EXACT same color. At first I thought I was just being egotistical, until my brother mentioned to me how he noticed she was styling her hair like mine. I called her out on it and she is just in denial. I told her she should find her own self expression and that it irritates me. But she didn't respond. I look back and noticed she's ALWAYS done things like this, and I know they say imitation is the biggest form of flattery, but I'm honestly just annoyed and not sure what to do. She's family and I love her, so there's no way I can cut her out of my life.

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The only reason not to feel flattered rather than irritated would be that you feel threatened that she might pull off something better than you.


I'd quit discouraging the cousin and start encouraging her instead. Then you can feel the more common frustration of having someone seek your advice but then ignore it.


Be kind. You'll thank yourself later.

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Consider what things about you might irritate her? I'd go for humility on this one. I know it's irritating but obviously she can copy your outward appearance till the cows come home and it won't change who you are and what makes you unique.


If it helps -I had a younger cousin for many years. We became really close especially in our 20s/early 30s. I looked up to her (age is just a number when it's only 4 years) and appreciated her inner qualities so much. She died in her early 30s, shortly after getting married, from an aggressive cancer. That was almost 12 years ago and I miss her and think of her all the time. Weigh the pros and cons -is it worth tainting your relationship with your cousin over this? She might not be there forever.

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