Girls who are interested don't approach?

[Jawbreh]

That is weird. Did she apologize for bumping into you?

As far as I can remember she did apologize only once. Sometimes she says "oops" and looks at me. However a few days ago when she bumped into me she said nothing.

[Dougie_D]

I think it's great you have confidence. As a more introverted person myself, learning how and being able to hold conversations and/ or initiate getting to know people is a great skill to develop in my opinion. For either gender. This way you have more control over your options and who you want to spend time with!

Anyone - boy or girl, man or woman- who limits themselves to waiting to be engaged or only focusing on pursuing- is at a loss, IMO.

 

A woman I do think can sit back and have more engagement without putting herself out there much. This is my observations, my experiences. BUT - i don't think that's a matter of anything deep rooted in our natures, I really believe it's mostly conditioning and the human tendency towards laziness. Course of least resistance and least effort or risk of rejection. Kinda lame, if you think about it.

 

Holding a conversation isn't hard if the person/listener is actually interested in the topic or is interested in the person as a whole.

 

if the conversation goes no where it's because the interest is "lost".

 

You can tell within 1 minute if someone wants to continue to engage in conversation. The problem is that some people continue the conversation and think they still have a "shot"

[tracyis300]

Yes! It is rare to see a girl step up to the plate.

And when you have multiple eye contact with someone, is a clear sign of some kind of attraction in play?

Instead of playing who looks away first? Go introduce yourself and start a conversation. After you are aquatint with this person? Then ask about the eye contact.

Me personally, if a girl gives me multiple eye contact, i just make a funny face, smile back or see if she can read lips by me silently saying "hello" to her. It's a good ice breaker as well as a good excuse to go introduce myself.

[katrina1980]

Why not?

 

That's not the same as improving and changing yourself to get what you want.

 

If people aren't successful the only way to get successful is to change. And to attract women that means being more masculine. The reason 99% of women say they like confidence is because it's a masculine trait.

 

People shouldn't change if they don't want to.

 

If they want a better dating life, then they have to change. Or simply improve and grow for the sake of growing. That in itself will make a person more attractive.

 

I agree with this^^. Not change (per se), but push yourself out of your comfort zone... stretch your emotional muscles!

 

Just like our physical muscles, emotions need to be exercised too, stretched and pushed to achieve maximum strength, pleasure, happiness and fulfillment.

 

I mentioned this in another thread but I have initiated convos with men... not a direct "hit" or approach, but a spontaneous convo should the opportunity present itself (train, bus, coffee shop).

 

Sometimes it led to our exchanging numbers, sometimes not.

 

But in any event, I met a new person and had a pleasant and hopefully interesting conversation!

[Zippy2000]

How do you know she is interested in you?

 

People are allowed to look at you but it doesnt mean they are insterested. Go and talk to her and find out.

[FlashEng1]

Because life isn't a popularity contest, for one thing.

 

And no one is saying that it is. Shaping your personality to attract/find a partner isn't the same as trying to become popular. Becoming a more approachable, likable person isn't the same as being a people pleaser or kiss ass. There's fine lines to literally everything, your references simply point to nearly the other extremities.

 

 

 

And if one doesn't think it's an improvement, and doesn't want to change?

Then one gets stuck and left behind. There's a saying in the career world: Do what you know vs Know what you do. Those that only do what they know will soon find themselves out of a career and income as they're replaced by those who know what they do and simply adapt to their environment to remain an expert at their trade.

 

 

I care more about being myself than about being successful.

 

This statement alone says what end of the "spectrum" you stand, and where your mind ultimately is at. You're so strongly shaped by society in your thinking. To me, successful and being yourself can (and certainly are) synonymous with one another. OF COURSE I wish to be myself. But I wish to be a more successful version of myself. I do this by adapting, understanding, and taking action to advance my growth/learning in certain areas. THAT to me is successful. Successful can be the GameStop employee happily making minimum wage, while living within their means and saving up for their future retirement. Not always the 6-Figure power players. I don't really understand the point of the last two lines you wrote, no comment.

 

Anyway, Jawbreh are you SURE these girls are interested? So far none of the signs in my mind seem like they are (or if she is). Even the random bumping into you when leaving could very well be accidental as odd as it would seem.

[Sportster2005]

I care more about being myself than about being successful.

 

 

Not one is going to argue with your right to be unsuccessful.

[Jibralta]

To me, successful and being yourself can (and certainly are) synonymous with one another.

 

Very astute statement.

[Jawbreh]

How do you know she is interested in you?

 

People are allowed to look at you but it doesnt mean they are insterested. Go and talk to her and find out.

There's no doubt that she's interested in me. I know for a fact that she is.

But yeah I agree that the best way to find out is to go and talk to her.

 

Anyway, Jawbreh are you SURE these girls are interested? So far none of the signs in my mind seem like they are (or if she is). Even the random bumping into you when leaving could very well be accidental as odd as it would seem.

I know for 100% that one of the girls is. The one who's bumping into me must be interested too. She has bumped into me so many times and it's so obvious what she's doing, and no this is not the only "sign" she has given me. There's lots of them.

[Batya33]

Do you mean interested in dating you or interested in flirting with you? Can be two different things.

[Jawbreh]

Do you mean interested in dating you or interested in flirting with you? Can be two different things.

Dating of course.

[FlashEng1]

Dating of course.

 

I don't know man.... I've been in your situation many times, and it didn't mean anything until an actual date/interest was communicated.. Right now... how much is knowing that they're into you, actually working for you?

 

Answer to your topic post: Yes it's possible for girls who are interested to not approach. But they are as useless as guys being into a girl and not approaching.. nothing gets done/progresses.

 

If you're 100% certain, you shouldn't be here discussing it anymore, you should be out there sparking conversation and making a date happen, as it's obviously not going to happen the other way around.

 

So go out and make it happen captain.

[Jawbreh]

I don't know man.... I've been in your situation many times, and it didn't mean anything until an actual date/interest was communicated.. Right now... how much is knowing that they're into you, actually working for you?

 

Answer to your topic post: Yes it's possible for girls who are interested to not approach. But they are as useless as guys being into a girl and not approaching.. nothing gets done/progresses.

 

If you're 100% certain, you shouldn't be here discussing it anymore, you should be out there sparking conversation and making a date happen, as it's obviously not going to happen the other way around.

 

So go out and make it happen captain.

 

You're right, thanks.