So I feel pressured (egg freezing)

[Heather Dawn]

@heather dawn

 

Congrats!! So awesome

 

Thank you!!

[Heather Dawn]

Hi Heather,

 

Is he your first child? I have aunts who got pregnant in their late 30s but for their 3rd or 4th child. Also my mom got pregnant still when she was 38.

 

Yup, he's my first. We weren't even trying (nor were we preventing). We were of the "let fate decide" mindset.

[Ms Darcy]

Just freeze them. What's the downsize in doing that, really!

 

Agree 1000000%

[Ms Darcy]

You still have a lot of time, freeze em at 34-35 and it will be good for 10 years

 

Before you listen to us random strangers on the internet, please talk to a doctor. There are people whose fertility levels can decrease moreso at 35 even than others. My doc said he wished he had seen me last year (at 34). So, don't wait!

[Ms Darcy]

Yeah it's expensive and not reliable. It's kind of like a big experiment. Talk to your doc or an ob/gyn about fertility in general. Tons women are able to conceive healthy babies naturally in their thirties and early forties.

 

I'd just like to say, I respectfully disagree - at least when it comes to embryo freezing versus egg freezing. It's a valid concern. But the bottom line is talk to your doctor.

[LadyRayne]

If you are worried and can afford to do it why not. At 35 eggs can still be viable however there are no guarantees in life in anything particularly fertility. I'm part of a fertility forum where women as young as mid 20s need egg donations for various issues. My egg donor was 34 but I still haven't been able to get pregnant. And since I've already had 2 healthy babes from a prev relationship I feel it was the quality of her eggs sadly and who knows if age has anything to do with it. There is no harm in freezing your eggs however you should know that using frozen eggs as opposed to frozen embryos you have a lesser degree of success statistically. You may freeze eggs and later not conceived with them too. But as a back up I would do it just to have a bit of reassurance I can't hurt. Goodluck

[happpybear]

I'd just like to say, I respectfully disagree - at least when it comes to embryo freezing versus egg freezing. It's a valid concern. But the bottom line is talk to your doctor.

 

I was referring to egg freezing only, as that is what was mentioned in the OP. But yes, embryo freezing does have a better success rate. Of course if you want to go this route you would have to have some sperm to add in the mix. OP is single, so that would present an added complication if she were to go that route right now. But definitely food for thought, and I hope she speaks to her doctor for guidance

[Batya33]

I would do it sooner rather than later. I inquired about it when I was 32, almost 18 years ago -and back then it was really not viable yet. But now, it is. I never actively tried to conceive until I was almost 41, had my first and only pregnancy at almost 42 and he's 7 now and an adorable handful. I am so happy I didn't become a single mother by choice -an option I considered for a few months when I turned 37 -for moral and practical reasons. I would not suggest waiting until late 30s/40s to try to conceive if at all possible because it made the pregnancy so much more stressful and emotionally taxing. I do think being a first time mom in one's 40s is great in a lot of ways including my maturity/patience level and feeling that I've done all I wanted to do that now is more restricted because of being a parent. My husband also had never had a child or been married and we are the same age.

 

Good luck!

[superfan]

If you are 100% sure you want a family with no relationship prospects on the horizon then freezing your eggs sounds perfectly logical.

 

I am 34 now and have a 6 month old. I met my husband when I was 24. We were long distance for 3 years (including the first year of our marriage) and then I wanted to be married 5 years before we even thought about conceiving. We went off birth control on our 5th wedding anniversary and 3 months later we conceived. Had a miscarriage and then conceived our daughter after that. By the time we had conceived her, I was 32 and 33 by the time she was born. Who knows what your timeline will look like, so having that option might be a good thing.

 

That said, if you want a child and don't want to bother with relationships, why not just opt for a sperm donor? I won't begin to downplay how difficult it is to be a single parent, but it really just depends on what you want more. Maybe that would be the route to go?

 

Just a thought. You don't NEED a man to have a child...

[secretgalaxy]

Hi blackswift,

 

I actually created an account on this website just to reply to your post.

 

I am currently 35. Started my egg freezing journey at 34. Wish I had started at 28. I see some posts here saying 30 is WAY too young, when in actuality like some other posters have stated it is actually kind of in the middle. I hear starting around 25-28 or so is optimal. Again like many have stated most do not think of their fertility at that age unless it is an issue. Let alone have the financial means to even begin the process.

 

I had been thinking about it since I was around 30 mainly because I was dating a younger guy and he didn't really seem to like the prospect of having children and I did not think I even really wanted to have children with him. I ended that 10 year relationship around the age of 34 and then SERIOUSLY considered freezing my eggs because I had no clue when I would be in another relationship yet alone with somebody willing/wanting to have children with me.

 

I was a normal, healthy 34 year old woman with no issues in terms of irregular periods or anything like that. Periods like clockwork and so on. I went in hearing that because of my age and everything that I might have to do one cycle & maybe some normal level fertility medicine. Went through all the testing, etc. etc. Long story short found out that I had the egg reserves of somebody in their 40's!!! This was a terrible shock to me and made me super depressed for a few weeks. I finally got over it and realized that at least I had SOME eggs and I should save what I could. This is where the $$ came in. Because I had like no eggs I was recommended to do 3 cycles; not just 1. Also I had to have the strongest fertility medications. Let me tell you - it has been VERY expensive. I was planning on maybe spending like.. $14k or so - right now I probably have been/will have spent $30k after all is said & done. That is with all costs though.

 

It doesn't cost much to at LEAST go get the blood work done and see where you are fertillity wise. Doing so might save you some heart ache and pocket book ache in the long run. Maybe if I had gone when I was still in my late 20's I could've only had to go through one cycle and have less potent fertility medicines. All in all I now know that I am doing what I can to at least try to save my fertility and the hopes of having at least ONE child. Again - nothing is guaranteed but I'm happy I won't wake up at 38 regretting not doing it.

 

You can always send me a private message if you have any questions on my egg freezing journey - I still have one cycle left to do.

 

Thanks for the read! AND GOOD LUCK ON YOUR JOURNEY .. wherever it leads you.