What's going on with my ex? Is there a chance

[Sarahjb]

So my ex boyfriend broke up with me awhile ago and even though he dumped me he has a hard time letting go. He would still talk to me all the time and tell me he doesn't know if he did the right thing. He still acts like he cares and always flirts with me and gets jealous of other guys. I'm fully aware that none of that means anything if he's not going to do anything to back up what he's saying. Just to give a little background . He broke up with me because I wasn't being a good girlfriend. Near the end I was never there for him I ignored his texts/calls . I didn't put the effort into the relationship. I guess I was getting a little bored. Too my defence I had other stuff going on and was under a lot of pressure from work ect. But he was a great guy and it was one of those things you don't realise what you have until it's gone. He always gave 100% even though I wasn't doing the same.

 

Anyway, I told him that all this cummincation had to stop and we had to go no contact because talking hurts too much. I said either he wanted to work on getting back together or to cut me out forever and told him there is no in between. He was really upset and I said well this is what you wanted. Then he said it wasn't what he wanted nut he just felt too awkward to come back to my house again. (I live with my parents and he had a pretty big argument with my mom). He said he misses me and thinks about me all the time and he was thinking about getting back together. So I asked him did he want to talk in person? I sent that 2 days ago. He has seen it and hasn't replied how should I handle this? And if he starts talking to me again what would be the best way to react?

[Wiseman2]

That is string along talk. He does not want to get back together. If he did he would come out and clearly state that in definitive terms without prompting. Drop this wishy-washy jerk and go with your instincts to remain full block/ no contact. He is occupying too much of your head-space.

was thinking about

[Hollyj]

If he doesn't want full reconciliation, then there is nothing to discuss- the fact that you have not heard anything in two days, speaks volumes. It sounds like this guy is full od excuses.

 

It's good that you told him that you needed to cut contact, if he couldn't step up to the plate. It sounds like he wants the benefits of a gf, w/o the commitment.

[ParisPaulette]

This is back burner talk. He wants you to be available to him until he finds your replacement is all. He doesn't want you back clearly, because if he did he'd have met to talk then gone and apologized to your mom and be doing whatever he could to make things right and get you back.

 

But he isn't doing that at all now is he? Just coming up with excuses for why he should keep you on the line, but not fully commit.

 

I'm sorry, but you are doing the right thing with going full no communication and you need to continue it and stop giving him what he wants, which is you available while he is still free to go out with other women.

 

Staying in touch with him is not fair to you and you'll get dumped again, twice as hard and then he'll be able to say, 'But hon, we were broken up. You knew that." Sorry, I've seen how these scenarios play out.

 

On this one, you need to let logic take over and stop listening to your heart. It's not doing you any favors and you need time apart long enough to stop letting him cloud your judgement. Block and delete him and go full NC and take time off of everything. It's done.

 

Sometimes a dumper just wants their ex to be their to hold their hand and make them feel good about themselves until they find someone else. This does not mean they want to get back together or even love you. It means they can't handle being alone and facing he consequences of their own actions. It comes from a very selfish place and it's not love.

 

Stick to what you told him and go NC.

[catfeeder]

I'd shut him down. If he contacts you with anything less than "I want to get back together," I'd simply tell him not to contact me with anything less than, "I want to get back together." Period.