I don't get love.

[Seraphim]

Never never assume that because people can continue to live that they never loved the person.

[Seraphim]

I lost a child before he was born 9 years ago. It was a second trimester loss . It took me five years or so to properly mourn that. I can now go on. Would you assume I don't love him anymore?

[einsteins_girl]

I lost a child before he was born 9 years ago. It was a second trimester loss . It took me five years or so to properly mourn that. I can now go on. Would you assume I don't love him anymore?

 

Victoria, I mean no offense by this. I think you are misinterpreting everything I say. Of course, I wouldn't think that, and I was never once referring to anyone's loss of a child. I was talking about people after a break up when I said the part about never loving the person. It is possible those people never truly loved the person. Please don't try to make this into me suggesting awful things.

[Seraphim]

Well, I just don't understand why you would assume they never loved them.

[True Story]

Well, I just don't understand why you would assume they never loved them.

 

I think she just finds it hard to understand how people can move on so quickly from someone they have loved.

[Seraphim]

How people move on , it's individual and how they move on from each relationship is also different.

[Ms Darcy]

Yeah, I'm certain this is true. I wasn't abandoned as a child in a conventional sense, but my dad's job kept him away a lot, and when he was home, he was too tired to spend much time with us kids. I also had several friends who I felt abandoned me during adolescence, and I have a sense that people don't value me and find me quite dispensable.

 

Interestingly, my ex also had a job that kept him away a lot, and when he could've spent time with me, he often chose not to do that.

 

Hmmm, yes then this is important for you to dig into with your therapist and hopefully heal. Then you would probably find yourself healing from the relationship as well.

[limichelle]

The key is learning how to let go and accept what wasn't meant to be. You can't stay in the past with having your heart still attached to your ex. You won't ever move forward and embrace a better more for you love out there.

 

I was with someone for ten years! The last three were of a mourning period as the guy I was with struggled with his mental health. I felt like I was dating someone in a coma trying to wake him up. My love for him was true and deep and I really believed him and I would be life partners. I gave him my heart.

 

I stayed with him up until he said he couldn't be with me anymore or anyone for that matter, his illness turned to full blown Scizophrenia! I watched him go in and out of hospitals and his anxiety was intensified so bad he couldn't talk on the phone or email.

 

Did I not love him because after the three years and when he called it off I started seeking? That wasn't it at all.

 

I will always hold a special spot in my heart for him but I have to let him go! That door is shut, he is my past.

 

Op you will always have the memories, carry those with you!

 

The rest just let go of knowing it wasn't meant to be.

 

Lisa

[sky09]

It has been said that most "dumpers" left quite a while before the actual bomb was dropped. I'm about two years after surviving the bombing, and feeling like I *could* entertain something. Some days I don't, though. It sure is easier to "find" someone these days, with advents in technology and whatnot, but the level of intimacy has been decreased dramatically, imho. Since no one defined what love is exactly, we'd need to understand your definition first. Falling "in love" and the butterflies are definitely not love, but sure as hell feel like something resembling "love." The high is great, but it doesn't last (just like any other feel-goods). A lot of people do stay with someone because they are scared to be alone, and when a suitable replacement has been located, jump ship. That's not love either. As for that couple you have described, I bet she still thinks about the guy that passed (possibly daily). The finality of his death, however, cannot be reversed. Who knows how she met the new guy, and why not give him a chance if he's a decent man? How did you meet your ex? I bet it was thru Chance, and not Tinder. Come to think of it, they actually got this one app called Happn that matches you with people that you've crossed paths with lol

These are some great conversations to be had with love prospects, tho.

[Lucha]

I can really ressonate with you, OP! I have only truly loved one person a few years ago and still havent let go entirely. There have been other relationships but truth be told, I knew i didnt 'love' them. I feel damaged and uncapable of love after having my heart broken by the woman i thought was the one.

 

I cannot fathom the people that move in and out of relationships, claiming they found true love everytime. It makes me think surely there has to be someone for me too then? But it just doesnt happen.. No matter who i meet, date, .. I dont feel it

[Itchy]

I can really ressonate with you, OP! I have only truly loved one person a few years ago and still havent let go entirely. There have been other relationships but truth be told, I knew i didnt 'love' them. I feel damaged and uncapable of love after having my heart broken by the woman i thought was the one.

 

I cannot fathom the people that move in and out of relationships, claiming they found true love everytime. It makes me think surely there has to be someone for me too then? But it just doesnt happen.. No matter who i meet, date, .. I dont feel it

 

There's no such thing as the one though. I honestly don't know why people believe in this fantasy notion of the one or soul-mates, it's just clap trap to me. You will meet someone else who will be the one, so what will happen to the previous one? The point I am making is you are fixated on this fantasy of the one, when really in life this ex will be the one of a few or many (depending on how many partners you have). The sooner people realise that there every girlfriend, boyfriend, husband or wife is replaceable, they'll easier it'll be when a break up/divorce happens.

[Lucha]

There's no such thing as the one though. I honestly don't know why people believe in this fantasy notion of the one or soul-mates, it's just clap trap to me. You will meet someone else who will be the one, so what will happen to the previous one? The point I am making is you are fixated on this fantasy of the one, when really in life this ex will be the one of a few or many (depending on how many partners you have). The sooner people realise that there every girlfriend, boyfriend, husband or wife is replaceable, they'll easier it'll be when a break up/divorce happens.

 

Okay i value your opinion. Let's just say I haven't met Another One in these past years.

[Itchy]

Okay i value your opinion. Let's just say I haven't met Another One in these past years.

 

That's fine because you will do, but in the mean time you need to be kinder to yourself, you need to savour and enjoy life to the fullest.

[Tanzi]

I was talking about people after a break up when I said the part about never loving the person. It is possible those people never truly loved the person.

 

We simply aren't built to give up. We are built to bounce back. We love, we lose, we mourn, we learn to love again. It does not lessen the love we felt before.

[Ms Darcy]

We simply aren't built to give up. We are built to bounce back. We love, we lose, we mourn, we learn to love again. It does not lessen the love we felt before.

 

Indeed. When we fall down, it is a more natural urge to stand back up. It takes effort to stay down for a long time.