kmichelle1 Posted May 16, 2016 Share Posted May 16, 2016 opeless1 ♀New Member Member # 53250Posted: 4:10 PM, May 16th (Monday), 2016I am 22, I have been with my fiance for 3 years. A few months after we got engaged, I found a POF account on his email. He used a fake name and someone else's picture, but he was still talking to other women. He works in the oilfield so he is gone ALOT but he was even talking to them while he was home... after I saw that I started digging. I found a email to a girl off of craigslist, I told him I was done he cried and begged and apologized. Eventually I said fine. I wasn't the same for a while I couldn't trust him I always looked thru his phone..finally I stopped. Fast forward to now, I just had our daughter 2 months ago. Idk why I decided to look but I looked in his email, but when I did I saw that last year he had made a tonder, a localmilfselfie account, an iwantu account and something else, all dating apps. It's been a year but it was a year after he swore he wouldn't do it again. I said something to him the other day but he kept saying ok I said I'd change and I have (since it's been a year) but he did it after he swore the first time!!! Idk what to do. He says I need to stop digging but how do I even begin to forgive him when he's betrayed my trust not once not twice but 3 times? Idk if he's ever done anything physical all I see are apps but I'm so hurt I just don't know what to do and idk if I can move past it. Link to comment
ThatwasThen Posted May 16, 2016 Share Posted May 16, 2016 If you're not going to leave him then get online and look for a couples counsellor and then book an appointment and tell him that you're both going to a counsellor and the appointment is ________. If he won't go then you then go to a lawyer and ask him how you go about getting a child support schedule and visitation ironed out. Either he gives you reason to trust him by showing you that he's willing to work on his addiction or you leave. I see no other way that would satisfy your angst. Someone telling you that you should trust them when they are fundamentally untrustworthy is ridiculous.ty *Edited for typo* Link to comment
Wiseman2 Posted May 16, 2016 Share Posted May 16, 2016 I'm sorry but he is cheating on you left and right while he is away and setting it up while he's home also.a POF account, a girl off of craigslist, tinder localmilfselfie, iwantuHe works in the oilfield so he is gone ALOT but he was even talking to them while he was home. Link to comment
Jibralta Posted May 16, 2016 Share Posted May 16, 2016 I don't think you are being ridiculous. The writing is all over the wall in gigantic fluorescent neon letters. He's cheating on you. What are you prepared to do? Link to comment
kmichelle1 Posted May 16, 2016 Author Share Posted May 16, 2016 It's just hard because when he is home he is always with me and where he works it's nothing but men for 100s of miles. His thing is that it's been a year he's changed but he's done 6 different accounts so I just don't really get how he thinks that makes me feel any better. Link to comment
ThatwasThen Posted May 16, 2016 Share Posted May 16, 2016 It's just hard because when he is home he is always with me and where he works it's nothing but men for 100s of miles. His thing is that it's been a year he's changed but he's done 6 different accounts so I just don't really get how he thinks that makes me feel any better. Yes, we understand the mess you are in. Now, luv. What are you going to do about it? Link to comment
Wiseman2 Posted May 16, 2016 Share Posted May 16, 2016 And the hook ups he's arranging or the hookers the guys hire locally. where he works it's nothing but men for 100s of miles Link to comment
kmichelle1 Posted May 16, 2016 Author Share Posted May 16, 2016 It's so hard, my 6 year old calls him dad and we just had our own daughter. I'm not afraid to be a single mom, I'm not afraid to be alone. I'm just afraid that what if he really is done this time and I miss out on our family? He's really good to my kids and me when he isn't doing thay. I just can't trust that it won't happen again and it's not fair for me to always be wondering what he's doing when he's gone. Link to comment
reinventmyself Posted May 16, 2016 Share Posted May 16, 2016 It's just hard because when he is home he is always with me and where he works it's nothing but men for 100s of miles. His thing is that it's been a year he's changed but he's done 6 different accounts so I just don't really get how he thinks that makes me feel any better. But he hasn't changed. He's now worse. Before he did it on the sly. Now he does it after promising not to. .and then some It's not up to him how you should feel. It's up to you. Link to comment
Jibralta Posted May 16, 2016 Share Posted May 16, 2016 I'm just afraid that what if he really is done this time and I miss out on our family? What if you and your children miss out on a simple, peaceful life of harmony and trust because you keep giving this liar chance #99, #100, #101....? Link to comment
Wiseman2 Posted May 16, 2016 Share Posted May 16, 2016 Imagine meeting a man who works locally and is faithful and a full time husband and (step) father? That can only happen if you leave this guy. You will get child support and figure out visitation with the kids, he's hardly there anyway, so what's the point of hanging on to this?my 6 year old calls him dad and we just had our own daughter. Link to comment
limichelle Posted May 16, 2016 Share Posted May 16, 2016 I agree with Wise, Your life can be so much better then this for your children and you! Be strong and leave never looking back. Lisa Link to comment
kmichelle1 Posted May 16, 2016 Author Share Posted May 16, 2016 Trust me i know I'm stupid for even considering stayin I know this is all stupid I'd always say I'd leave if this ever happened but idk I guess I let him manipulate me to believe him since it's been a year and I'm just now seeing it and that he's done. Link to comment
ThatwasThen Posted May 16, 2016 Share Posted May 16, 2016 It's so hard, my 6 year old calls him dad and we just had our own daughter. I'm not afraid to be a single mom, I'm not afraid to be alone. I'm just afraid that what if he really is done this time and I miss out on our family? He's really good to my kids and me when he isn't doing thay. I just can't trust that it won't happen again and it's not fair for me to always be wondering what he's doing when he's gone. Get him to go to with you to marriage counselling and if he won't go then you KNOW that he's not serious about giving up his addiction. You can't just take his word for it and HOPE. You can't just stay with him to be emotionally abused by him again. To stay without him proving to you that he is serious is you abusing yourself. Link to comment
Hollyj Posted May 17, 2016 Share Posted May 17, 2016 It's just hard because when he is home he is always with me and where he works it's nothing but men for 100s of miles. His thing is that it's been a year he's changed but he's done 6 different accounts so I just don't really get how he thinks that makes me feel any better. The guy is cheating on you! Period! You should've left a year back! Link to comment
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