Partner says they won't miss you while on trip, how bad is that?

[Mfic99]

I asked her. She said she thought it was because she was snoring. I said well you got up so you could have woke me up, she said she thought I was sleeping, I said well the bed is way better then an air mattress. Idk she always seems to have answers to get out of every situation. I don't know if that is my fault or hers

[notalady]

Why would she come wake you up at 2am just because she turned off the aircon? I would've assumed you'd be asleep if I was her. And wouldn't it be obnoxious for her to come wake you up (if you had indeed fell asleep) and say hey I turned the aircon off, you can come back to bed now?

 

Did you tell her when you went to the other room that it was because she turned on the aircon? Or did you just silently left? If you didn't say it was the aircon, how did you expect her to just automatically know that? Also why couldn't you just get another blanket to put on top instead of leaving the room? Sleeping in separate rooms, unless out of necessity, isn't a good idea to me. Would've thought being married for so long, you would have these things worked out as a couple already (eg keeping an extra blanket on the side of the bed in case someone gets cold).

 

Yes it would've been nice if she asked you when turning on the aircon, if you were awake! It's not nice to wake someone up from their sleep so maybe she didn't want to.

 

My boyfriend sometimes get hot in the middle of the night but doesn't turn on the aircon because he thought I might not like it, and obviously didn't want to wake me up to ask, but upon communicating this, I said actually I was a bit hot too just didn't wake up and next time he should just turn it on. It was that simple.

 

Why was this an issue at all? It seems like you're being hyper sensitive in this case.

 

I highly suggest stop raising so many relationship issues and taking it all so personally. It doesn't do the relationship any good.

[Krankor]

I would definitely give her the benefit of the doubt on this one. You're the one who got up and went into the other room; she didn't know why you did it. It seems reasonable to just assume you had some reason and that it is best to just let you sleep rather than wake you up to come back. I'm not sure about other things she does/has done, but I really wouldn't read anything negative into this one. She shouldn't have to defend every single thing she does/says.

[Ms Darcy]

Maybe she has hot flashes who knows? What makes you believe she's turning on the AC for any other reason than she was too warm? I think playing the martyr/victim in every single interaction will drive you both nuts.

 

I agree. It could be as simple as she didn't want to wake you up. If you think yourself a victim for EVERYTHING she does, you will stay miserable.

[TakeTwo]

I asked her. She said she thought it was because she was snoring. I said well you got up so you could have woke me up, she said she thought I was sleeping, I said well the bed is way better then an air mattress. Idk she always seems to have answers to get out of every situation. I don't know if that is my fault or hers

 

It's very difficult to clearly understand what is actually in your wife's mind. And I can be totally wrong. But what this all reminds me is when I stopped loving my husband everything he did or said resonated very negatively in me.

 

You seem take everything as a prove she is at fault. And nothing she can say to change your mind. You keep looking for hidden agenda. Sadly...

 

I hope you will be able to fix it or find resolution any other way.

[Mfic99]

It's very difficult to clearly understand what is actually in your wife's mind. And I can be totally wrong. But what this all reminds me is when I stopped loving my husband everything he did or said resonated very negatively in me.

 

You seem take everything as a prove she is at fault. And nothing she can say to change your mind. You keep looking for hidden agenda. Sadly...

 

I hope you will be able to fix it or find resolution any other way.

 

 

I think your right and I do that. I'm always thinking bad intentions.

[Mfic99]

We had a good talk last night. I told her I have some things I need to work out and I asked her what she wanted. What she would like from me and she asked the same. I think we took a good step for me to stop thinking every thing she does has bad intentions.

[Mfic99]

I thought things were ok last few days till this came up. We Texted off and on through the out day, normal stuff. When off I said off work. See you tonight. I love you with a heart. She replied ok. Of course I am taken back by this, that's not a reply I ever get, so I said Ok? That's an unexpected reply. She said I thought your I love you was in reply to mine from earlier. I don't see how she missed it, my reply was immediate and we talked right after. Ok so I probably shouldn't say I love you expecting a reply. At the same time if she doesn't want to reply I would think she could answer differently. I told her obv an ok is going to upset me. Couple questions. Should I be upset I got just an ok? And should I stop saying I love you in text to avoid this?

[Ms Darcy]

Rinse and repeat dude. Have you started seeing a therapist? You are upset at every little thing.

 

Thank Goodness my husband doesn't freak or question me if I don't write down "I love you too" in a text message.

[HeartGoesOn]

Rinse and repeat dude. Have you started seeing a therapist? You are upset at every little thing.

 

Thank Goodness my husband doesn't freak or question me if I don't write down "I love you too" in a text message.

 

Shame on you, Mrs Darcy. How dare you!

 

OP, I would strongly suggest that you seek some form of counseling/therapy.

[Krankor]

OP--You seem like a nice guy and I'm sure you are a good husband, but you HAVE to lighten up on this woman a little if you want this marriage to work. You take everything in the worst possible way.

 

She did bring this on herself to an extent when she had her affair, but that was six years ago. You both chose to stay together and work things out. Your constant need for reassurance and your reading ill intent into everything is going to eventually just exhaust her. I'm sure it already has to an extent. I agree with the others that you should get counseling.