My boyfriend has a tinder account but doesn't use it?

[MEOrtega]

We've been dating for around 8 months now and everything is great but my boyfriend has a tinder account but doesn't use it. He was honest with me about it, I didn't find out on accident or anything. I've known for awhile now and I didn't really bother me because he said he doesn't use it anymore since he met me. I never made a tinder I don't really know how it works but I know what it's used for. It's been a few months since I found out but supposedly he still has the app on his phone (he told me himself) because he said he doesn't delete anything and I could see it. I would like to confront him about it, I trust him I really don't think he's using it but I just don't like the fact that the app is still on his phone. Am I wrong about feeling like this?

[notalady]

No you're not wrong to feel this way. "Never deleting an app" is a pathetic excuse honestly.. Tell him you appreciate his honesty and trust he's not using the app but you don't feel comfortable of either you having an account on a HOOK UP site when you're in a serious exclusive relationship. You suggest you both delete the account and the app. If his response is no because he doesn't delete apps or get defensive or accuse you of not trusting him/overthinking/whatever he says that turns the focus on you, something dodgy is likely going on. If he doesn't use it and has nothing to hide, upon you asking he should be more than glad to oblige.

[missmarple]

I agree with notalady. Pathetic. Ask him to delete it and if he insists he won't, run as fast as you can.

[irka000]

Having such an app while being in a relationship is like opening Pandora`s box....why create such a temptation ? This is no different from having a profile on dating website. It is even worse because he doesn't need to log in each time and he can browse at any time and all the time...in the traffic, toilet, literally all the time-without you even knowing....

Such an app takes a lot of space on phone so I am quite surprised why he is not deleting stuff from the phone...

to me this is sort of cheating...others may disagree.

I would say something along: -"hey, my friend saw you on tinder...is there anything you want to tell me? if it is so much fun, maybe I will try it too..."

depends how you want to play .....

wishing you best of luck

[notalady]

There's no need to play games. He already said he has tinder. Simply be honest and direct about what you want. Transparency is the best policy here.

[greta96]

There's no need to play games. He already said he has tinder. Simply be honest and direct about what you want. Transparency is the best policy here.

 

This.

The guy has no business being on a hookup site when he's been with you for 8 months, he should have removed that app a long time ago, all on his own. There is no such thing as "I don't like/I forget to remove apps", especially when those apps are for meeting and sleeping with other people.

You need to talk to him and tell him that him being on Tinder is making you very uncomfortable, and if he refuses to delete it then you know where you stand. It will show you clearly if you're just someone he sees as temporary, or if he is serious about you. Don't let him tell you that deleting it is unnecessary since he's not using it anyway, empty words are just that - empty words.

But again, in a good, healthy, loving relationship, you shouldn't even have to say anything, he would have deleted it himself, that's just common sense.

[bulletproof]

I would like to confront him about it, I trust him I really don't think he's using it but I just don't like the fact that the app is still on his phone. Am I wrong about feeling like this?

 

Your feelings are never "wrong"; it's how you deal with them that matters.

 

So why do you think it bothers you that the app is on his phone? Do you think it's disrespectful? Are you afraid he'll use it? If it's the latter, then, no, you don't trust him. If it's the former, you're getting into one of those very grey areas (in my opinion) about a subjective measure such as "disrespect."

 

Personally, I would pick my battles, and this wouldn't be one of them.

[Wiseman2]

It's unclear why he tells you this and refuses to delete it. Are you in an exclusive relationship?

We've been dating for around 8 months but my boyfriend has a tinder account. he still has the app on his phone he told me himself because he said he doesn't delete anything.