The comfort zone, feeling stuck in a rut anyone relate...?

[thesundays]

Hi,

 

I've posted about this before..I think it was last August when I felt stuck in a rut and people posted some good advice. Anyone have any tips for getting out of your comfort zone and making life a little better/easier?

 

I thought we could share and maybe help each other?

 

1. I HATE my job. I mean, I really hate it and have lost what little motivation I had. I went for a promotion at work and didn't get it but on reflection that was probably a good thing, as I just want out of the door. I spend most evenings and weekends applying for other jobs, I have had a few interviews but no luck so far. It is making me so miserable, irritated and depressed. I have no interest at all in the work and spend most of the time I'm there hoping someone will just sack me. It can't be just me, as everyone else in the office pretty much feels the same way. I think it's the culture of the place. I feel i'll never get out. Also, it's a depressing place to work...there is a woman in my office who has just been diagnosed with stress and depression (fun times) and another who keeps saying she'll resign next week and then not. They are all middle aged with families. The reason I'm there, the pay is not good but it's much better than other jobs I've seen and if I want to move out, I can't afford to earn any less than I'm making now.

 

2. My job (the one I hate) involves a long commute to a very expensive city. As a result, at nearly 31, I still live with my parents in the same small town I grew up in. This is NOT how I envisaged life working out for me. My intention was to save and buy a place but even though I've saved, there is no way I can afford anything in the city where I work, so I know now I'll need to house share.

All of my friends are pretty much settled with their lives now, so aren't in the position to move with me. There was one person, I thought I was pretty friendly with who has literally just moved into a new house in the same city I work in but she didn't ask me if I wanted to move with her..which I was quite upset about.

 

3. A lot of the houses in the city I work in are expensive, old and damp. I'm really not that picky but I have asthma and it's already meant I've had to have sick days with chest infections during the winter that my job have questioned me about. I can't live in a damp house and make myself seriously ill..so I'm worried about that. Also, the idea of living with strangers kind of terrifies me. Also, as most of my friends are from the town I'm in now, I won't really know anyone in the new city to socialise with.

 

4. I'd really love to socialise more doing the things I want to do. It wasn't too bad last year, a few of my friends went to gigs in the city (it does involve travelling) and I met some cool people and enjoyed myself. As they're nearly all coupled up, that's pretty much tailed off now. People make excuses or they are doing other things. Now it just seems to be catch up drinks or meals in the town I'm in now...while I like my friends, that to me is DULL, and a waste of money. Rarely does anyone text me to ask if I want to do anything, it always seems to be me arranging things.

 

In short, I'm just pretty lonely. Life is hard work when you're not on the same page as other people. I think fear of the unknown and worrying holds me back from doing a lot of things.....

 

Anyone been in similar situations?

 

 

Some things I have done to try and help myself:

 

1. Based on the advice I received on here before, I took a second job as a freelance music journalist. It's really helped me and I don't know what would have happened if I didn't take it. It's unpaid and sometimes the weeks are very stressful, trying to keep track.

 

2. As mentioned before, I am applying for new jobs all the time and I've had three interviews with no luck as yet.

 

3. I went on a date with someone I met at one of the gigs, sat there, realised I very much liked someone else. I told the other person, via text message. They read it and didn't respond. I felt bad for the guy I went on a date with but figured I could do with friends but he obviously didn't see it that way. Still, I'm proud of myself for going on that date.

 

This is overly long, sorry....

[Batya33]

Have you met anyone interesting while freelancing? Is there a meetup group for music journalists or similar?

[melancholy123]

Do you have a friend who you could join with to find an appropriate apt. with who could share with you? I think getting out on your own would do you a world of good but if you can't afford it on your own, then a friend could share the rent.

[catfeeder]

I would do all that you're doing, but I'd stop belaboring the misery-go-round about the job. If iy served you in any way beyond building a dismal weight to carry around, I'd support it, but it doesn't buy you anything but amplified hardship.

 

Skip that. I'd rather challenge my own resiliency and ability to change my lens to lift myself UP as well as those around me. It's all temporary. You may not 'see' beyond it clearly enough right now, but you'll either want to adopt the intuitive ability to fly on instruments, or not. It's a skill, and like any other skill, it can be learned.

 

Head high.

[Jith111]

thesundays - I can relate to what you're saying. Im just a few years younger than you and went through the exact same thing - I HATED my job even though I was climbing the ladder and had awesome perks but its not what I imagined life to be

 

I also get the part about not being on the same page as other people - when I experienced all this I started reading books like "Rich Dad Poor Dad" and started searching for freedom. Yeah the fear of the unknown is scary but jumping OUT of your comfort zone will help you grow as a person and will bring a bit of spice back into your life. I'm alot happier now and run my own business from anywhere in the world and my friends and family have commented how different I am these days! PM me if you want