Im very confused, ex broke up with me out of nowhere, this is VERY long to read.

[mrk012]

Hi all, So this is going to be VERYYYYYY long as theres lots of history and I appreciate anybody willing to read through all of this and give me some advice.

 

So me and this girl have been together for say over 6 months but we have known each other for over 13 years on and off and even dated in school for a short while. We are both 29.

 

now ill describe her life as it is very relevant:

 

she hasnt had much maternal love from her parents who are divorced and was a bit of a rebel when she was younger. When she was 17 she was with a 38 year old man who used to beat her black and blue and then she was kicked out of her house when she got pregnant. She is extremely stubborn and even said to me once that "she doesnt regret her first baby, but if her mom had NOT told her to get rid of it as she was too young then she probably would have had an abortion anyways" (very stubborn and likes to do the opposite you see)

 

5 years later (hadnt seen her much during this time so I dont know what she was up to) but she eventually met another guy who again was about 7 years older then her. Before getting with this new guy, her friends and even the new guys friends warned her against getting with him as he is horrible as a boyfriend (this is what she's told me). Now being stubborn as she is, she stayed with him (again saying to me that if nobody had tried to warn me off him the relationship would of probably fizzled out after a couple of months)

 

Now this relationship was a true breaker for her, she was again subjected to physical and mental abuse but ended up staying with this guy for 6 years, marrying him and having 2 kids with him and eventually getting divorced about a year and a half ago. She told me she stayed there due to the fact that she was scared, she had nowhere else to go and she forced herself to try and make it work. She is still in contact with him just because of the children.

 

She has been very broken by this guy and is very insecure as he cheated on her as well as everything else and he is very much in her head with regards to him calling her fat, ugly, useless etc via text/phone/when he sees her regarding children and she believes it. He also uses the children to manipulate her so that she cant have much of a life. She has to pick them up and drop them off to his parents house where he lives and literally every time she does, the guy is starting some sort of drama, punching her car or standing in the road so she cant go, starting arguments over nothing, all of this is in front of her 3 children, 2 of which are his. Im not sure what his relationship with the children is like to be honest. Horrible bully though regarding her and women. She has also told me that he would never say a word if a man was around her as he is a wimp like that and likes to bully women. His mother is the type to say “women being hit by their husbands Is normal put up with it”

 

So now by this point she divorced, living alone in a house she hates with terrible neighbours. She has 3 children of 10, 4 and 2 she takes care of, works, goes to college and is studying to get into university. I will say from what I know of her children as I didnt meet them, she is a good mother and even after all of the abuse from her ex she always said that she would never stop him from seeing them and she has never bad mouthed him in front of them.

 

Now enter me, im a singer/songwriter and youth worker, im very confident and very rarely settle down.

 

We began talking again via facebook in July of 2015 but had been talking previously little by little but by November we had gone on a few dates and ended up getting together. It was crazy because the first time we saw each other after a long time on our first date it felt as though we had been together for years and were comfortable. Our first date was perfect, we went to our city, did a bit of shopping, got a meal (first time I tried tofu), then I took her to my friends club where she was appreciated as if she were a goddess. We kept our relationship quite low key on her side as she didn’t want her ex knowing just yet which I was fine with.

 

At this point she informed me she is studying for exams to get onto a midwifery course and has a few entry exams coming up at multiple universities. She had failed a couple and is not very confident with her studying and her maths etc so it was a HUGE stress on her but I was always helping her where I could. This course is also very important to get on for her as it will be life changing as she will be able to:

 

-move house as she will be able to get deposit money and she also hates her house and even has an ASBO on her neighbours (they are loud people at 3am...)

-the NHS will pay for the course this year (National Health Service)

-Her ex always telling her shes a failure etc and she wants to prove him wrong

-Get on a proper career and leave the dead end job she is in

 

Now everything was wonderful, taking her on dates, she was taking me, I was taking her to places she has never been to, taking her to the studio when I was recording introducing her to a few friends, staying at her place (when the kids were with their father), she would stay at mine,(although we would only really see each other once or twice a week but all day and night)

 

I was always complimenting her (all truth) as shes very beautiful but constantly calls herself fat etc due to insecurities and really doesnt know how to accept a compliment. She is a vegan so I would always make extra effort to go to find restaurants relevant to her and really make the effort. By this point we were so close and felt as though we knew each other so well we were literally finishing each others sentences, in a good way. She would always ask how I know her so well and vice versa.

 

Shes not fat, shes thick, like good thick in the best ways.

 

At the start of January 2016 she went very quiet with me for a day and then came out with a whole thing where she broke up with me as she thought I was talking to another girl (she also was studying for an entry exam at this point) (she stalked my facebook and the pictures that the girl had liked or commented on were screenshoted and she sent them to me) but I got her back within a couple of days as I explained the said girl is somebody from America who just randomly added me and comments and likes stuff. Im a singer it happens.

 

She also began to show me how much her ex was effecting her as he would be calling her constantly or texting her just horrible stuff (you are fat, ugly, useless blah blah blah) which would make her cry and id tell her to ignore it and comfort her as she wouldnt let me answer the phone or reply to the texts via fear that ill go kick his head in (also because its not my issue but obviously seeing anybody upset a girl you are into will make you want to hurt them, but she always said out of respect for her, don’t do anything as she doesnt want the kids to see their dad in a bad way, though she has many times told me if he was dead her life would be so much easier....)

 

After this we were even stronger in our relationship, my birthday came around Mid January and she made a massive effort, breakfast in bed, buying lots of thoughtful things like a bonsai tree that she said was to represent peace for my mind as I wasn't sleeping right, taking to me another city and to a national space centre and for food etc (but I paid for the food explaining to her that she has 3 children, I don’t but she still got annoyed that I paid).

 

When I used to see her she always asked me "why do you stare at me like its the first time youve seen me and im the only thing you can see" while she blushed, my reply was simply "you are amazing that's why" (while biting my lip, literally every time =P)

 

We even went to a restaurant and the waitress came up to us asking if it was our first date, when I asked why she asked, she said the way you are looking at her and the way she is being with you makes me think you just met and are just head over heels for each other, this was of course not our first date but as ive stated, ive always looked at her like shes the only girl in the world and treated her like that.

 

Now by this point she had begun to tell me that she LOVES me....a lot...I was doing everything perfectly that she had never had before, not one argument, no hidden agendas, always about her, no abuse etc. We were VERY banterous with each other and always messing about and she once even sent me an engagement request on facebook as a joke which I played off and wouldnt accept and then when I said I would she had taken the request away, it was all fun and games but had I accepted that request straight away, everybody would have known we were together.

 

She began to ask me drop my guard as I would never tell her I loved her as I don’t do those things so early. I rarely have relationships where i let my guard down so doing so if a very big thing to me.

 

As we came to February she began letting me talk to her younger children (2 and 4 years old) on the phone all the time, was telling me she wants me to meet all of her kids soon, telling me she was discussing me with her friends, telling me she had shown pictures of me to her mother and was excited to meet my family. By this point I finally dropped my guard and told her I loved her. I was excited as I wanted to meet her family and friends and introduce her to mine(feels like a mistake, but damn I do)

 

We were absolutely fine after this, dates, love, the whole thing to a perfect relationship. Then valentines day came about and we both explained that we don’t do valentines day and that we were not getting gifts etc but she had been talking to me about a plush doll in the shape of a squid she had seen (valentines day present it had hearts attached)

 

Knowing this, a day after valentines day I went shopping (she didnt know) and found the said plush doll, on top of this I purchased some really heart felt stuff that I knew she would love including some books and picture frames etc.

 

We went out for a wonderful meal, I drove back to her place afterwards and told her to go inside as I had a couple of bags to bring in. As ive walked in with all the gifts in hand she simply looked at me and in a very loving whisper she said "you are silly, why have you got presents?! we said no presents!"

 

I simply laughed and replied "they are not valentines day presents they are simply presents for my love"

 

she welled up, she cried, she held me, she kissed me, she called her friend explaining what id done, both of them were crying down the phone at the gesture (especially the plush doll and books, they are her love lol). She was beyond happy and even her friend was on the phone talking about how good I was for her. In the morning she kept telling me that she was going to buy me lots of stuff and I simply said "no, ill tell you what to do, when you move into your new house, buy some stuff with the money you was going to spend on me and just say its from me"

 

^ I love this girl I had nothing but good intentions for her

 

After this I couldnt see her for a week as she wasnt free til the Friday and I was working on a building site (im a jack of all trades).

She text me that week saying

 

“i love you, I love you always! you are perfect, please never change, you just got a little lost is all, im here to fix that, gonna be who you want me to be, ride or die motherfu*(&ker, I love you, every-f*ck*ng-thing to me”

 

that message had me loving her even more and I replied with similar.

 

I still kept in touch with her as much as I could (which was less then usual as building sites = dirt = not getting my phone out much) via whatsapp and calling over the Monday - Thursday I was working. I had asked her if she wanted to go to the cinema on the Friday (19th Feb) to which she replied she will see how tired she is on Friday as she was working and may want a quiet one at home. This is where some sort of issue began. From the Thursday of that week, she had become very distant with me. I enquired a couple of times as to why she was being quiet but she would brush it off with she is studying, she would start telling me "you know how important this course is to me" and then be very distant and slightly argumentative when replying. Friday came around and she was working but again was very distant. Then I asked if she wanted to go out to which she replied "she was very tired and wanted a quiet one in" I asked if she wanted me to come around and she said no as she wanted a quiet one in and her friend from work may come over.

 

I found this very weird but I was like its fine, enjoy.

 

She had a drink over the Friday night with her female friend from work (instagram/facebook confirmations).

 

She went to work on saturday and I spoke to her on the Saturday and things seemed absolutely fine til I started saying shes being a bit distant as the conversation went on (yes mistake of mine), I told her I was going out on the night with my friends and she was fine with it seeming normal. I sent her messages of kisses and I love you which were kind of ignored.

 

I didnt get many messages from her but I remembered she had an exam coming up for a university entry so she must of been studying.

 

I got back at 4am and messaged her "I love u good night" but then was also food poisoned from the food I ate before I slept.

 

I woke up in the morning very ill saying good morning to her as she had not messaged me and she got back to me in the afternoon. I again enquired as to why she was being so quiet with me? she wasnt getting back to me much and she was taking jokes we had between us quite seriously. Then I went on facebook and shared a photograph that seemed to fit the mood (bad idea) the photo was of a man across 3 photos and he is holding his girl in the first picture, she is translucent in the second and then he is holding thin air in the last one. The caption read "When You Show Them Respect"

 

She got back to me saying "nice dig on facebook"

 

I said its not a dig, its just how I feel right now

 

then she sent this message...

 

"apparently I haven’t disappeared due to you showing me respect though have I? ive been busy you have no idea how important it is to me and ive been working hard for it, I have no option but to go this year. I stopped talking so much as was getting pissed with you being online and not replying to me but clearly talking to other people. I just dont think its working with us. I tried to have a bit of distance to get my work done and do a bit of soul searching/potentially change my mind and you get pissy with me"

 

I argued the point about the whatsapp thing as she is literally one of 5 people I message and she always had priority. She said it was the days prior to her going quiet is when it happened. I was working those days though.

 

While I tried to argue how I loved her and I hate how shes quitting on us so quickly and how I knew she was studying so id been a little quieter with her in hindsight. I swore a bit but at the situation never directed at her.

 

She came back with many excuses from:

 

-ive made up my mind, I dont feel the way I did, its gone over the past few days, ill bring all your stuff back

 

-didnt want it to be like this as we were friends and im losing that

 

-I dont want to force myself to feel things

 

I continued to argue how I love her n im just trying to help her build up herself more.

 

she replied with:

 

-you cant fix me, nobody can, I dont want to be with anybody, im not fixable. I need to fix myself and you/we cant do that. I didnt lie when I said I love you I meant/mean it. I just dont want a relationship, im so sorry

 

I said I was going to go to her house to see her as she REFUSED to see me to discuss this and was doing it all over WHATSAPP. She told me not to disrespect her children as they were asleep and had been through enough this week and didnt need a stranger coming round (not that I would disrespect her like that or shout if I had gone there)

 

then I was calling her childish etc for not coming to see me and to give me closure if she meant all this stuff (bad of me yes)

 

she said

 

-I wish we had never started this again after the first time , cant force myself to feel something I don’t, ive tried trust me and im sorry for that

 

this was obviously wreaking havoc on my head right now as I questioned if she lied about loving me.

 

she said

 

-I never lied,l but my lustful feelings turned more to friendship, what do you want me to do? drag us through that?

 

I asked her to stop typing

 

she replied with

 

-Im actually sorry, I don’t feel for you what you feel for me any more. Theres a few factors that don’t need to be discussed. I didnt want to lose a friend we should never of started this.

 

(she still hasnt told me these 'factors')

 

-your ty facebook post nailed it to my head

 

then she was being simply cold telling me

 

-stop being depressive saying you are heartbroken it was only a few weeks, you feel strongly enough to post pedantic on facebook, I dont want to drag this out, I never lied about us, there are reasons for this. I don’t know what you want me to say.

 

(still dont know the reasons, she was madly in love with me 3 days ago from this)

 

I simply said thanks for being big and not coming to see me to do this, literally threw how good I was to you in my face and I have no idea why.

 

she said

 

-I don’t know how to approach you to your face about this

 

then she went on to say

 

-im not ready for us, I cant physically make myself be ok and settle down

 

then this went on a bit, I simply did the worst thing I possibly could and said

 

"im sorry im not the wife beating cheating type that you are used to"

 

she obviously did not take that well and said it was below the belt.

 

she then proceeded to unfriend me on all social medias but didn’t block me, just has all her stuff set so non friends cant see anything.

 

then she went on to say...

 

-I don’t want to jump into a long thing with us, with anyone, I just need some time to heal. About the stay with dudes who hit you, don’t be such a c&nt, what did you want me to do stay with you when I feel its not working? purely because I made a mistake you want me to do the same again? im not 100% comfortable with you and me, im not going to force myself. See you around"

 

(not 100% comfortable but was just talking about letting me meet the kids etc??)

 

then I sent a few messages and finished with a heartfelt one:

 

"im sorry for all my messages when I told you not to type, I just love you, I cant explain why and how quick it was, this is very hard for me to accept when everything was fine. then Friday when you didn’t invite me I had a feeling something was up but this has still shocked me. I love you though heartbreaker wish you had given us time."

 

she then replied

 

- you made me cry, I do love you, I never wanted this, I just know it wont work, im too head f*cked for a relationship, im too head fu*ced for anything at all. im sorry I hurt you I never ever wanted that, you are perfect, just we are not perfect and I did it now to save it being harder down the line, I am truly sorry you were my friend first and im losing that aswell so I wish we hadn’t started this. im sorry I wasn’t an adult, I didn’t want the confrontation which is selfish I guess. good night.

 

this was all on Sunday 21 march.

 

on Monday 22nd march I messaged her in the morning and she said

 

-I have nothing to say to you after you wife beater cheater line, please leave me alone

 

I apologised in a huge way to her and tried to remind her of all the good times.

 

I then messaged her on Tuesday 23rd march saying good morning

 

-she said she remembers good times but non of it changes how she feels.

 

I went on to say please give me a proper reason for this mad switch, why do you hate me like this?

 

she went on to say

 

-I don’t hate you, my reason is I don’t want to be with anybody, I have too much going on I don’t want a guy in my life

 

I questioned this of course saying I gave her all the space in the world and never compromised anything in her life

 

she replied with

 

-its the wrong time for me, im too confused in my own life to consider somebody else’s life, im sorry

 

-nothing has happened to spark this, im entitled to not stay with you, it makes no difference if you cant understand this. Please don’t make an argument out of this I have enough on my mind

 

I again went on to say please just let me love you, thats what you need, love like mine that you have never had before. I asked her what she wants me to do as I love her and don’t want to lose her and she replied

 

-please leave me alone.

 

 

 

I left her for the rest of the week as I was sure she was studying for another exam but I couldn't remember the date, I assumed the following Monday so I didnt contact her until Sunday (28th mar) and simply said good luck with you exam, I cant remember when it is but im sure its tomorrow.

 

she replied "it was Wednesday but thank you"

 

we went on to converse about how it went and she told me she will find out mid or end of march but she passed her maths exam which I knew was a huge deal to her so I made a big deal out of it. I then went on to ask her if everything was ok?

 

she replied with

 

"no, long story, hope you are ok though, heard a new song you did you sound good on it you should push it out more."

 

Now this made me realise that even though she has unfriended me on social medias etc, she can still see mine so she is checking it. I also realised something major was up as she wasnt ok so I asked if she was free as i wanted to see her to talk to her about her problems face to face

 

she told me

 

-she has the kids, he (the ex) is NOT having them any more so ive been pretty busy

 

we then conversed about her going to buy a bed for her youngest and small things as i didnt want to get into a convo about her ex over the phone, but then she wasn’t very responsive. I told her about a young girl I found who was homeless on the night and how I looked after her n got her to a shelter etc and she replied but with one word answers.

 

I then went on to say I want to see you so we can finish this properly if its finished I need closure

 

she then replied

 

-you do not need to see me, speak to me or hear from me, I cant reply to you in future its borderline embarrassing. Do you want a reason? I was in a relationship I wasn’t happy in and I ended it. what more do you want? leave me alone

 

she then proceeded to block me on whatsapp aswell.

 

I text her asking her if her ex had hit her or anything and she said no....

 

 

Then we didn’t speak for a while but the following Friday 4th march at 11.30pm she sent me a text saying "if its any consolation I really never meant to hurt you"

 

(she contacted me even though she said leave me alone)

 

I never even knew how to reply to the text so I left it until Sunday (mothers day) and simply sent her a message saying I hope her and the kids are ok and happy mothers day, to which she replied they were all ok and thank you.

 

then me being me I had already ordered some flowers to be sent to her house for mothers day as i figured nobody would get her anythung but they got delayed so she got them on Tuesday (8th of march).

 

she sent me a text quite late saying

 

"youre very silly, they are lovely, thanks, just what I needed, but in the future please don’t do anything like that"

 

(what does that even mean?! ^ hot and cold in one sentence lol)

 

I replied simply saying "im glad you like them, how was your day?"

 

she replied "long, tiring, soul destroying, the usual. hope you are ok"

 

I asked why it was soul destroying but she didn’t reply, so I sent another message simply saying "if there is anything I can to do help just let me know. I care about you."

 

she replied with a simple "thanks. night"

 

And that is where we are up to, thank you so very much for reading this far if you have I really appreciate it. I hope it was detailed enough for you guys to know my plight.

 

Basically I have no idea where im at with this girl as she messages me even though she told me to leave her alone, she wont tell me what happened with her ex that was so drastic that she is now not letting him see the children. I have no idea how to approach the situation?

 

any thoughts on what I should do? its like she loves me and wants me but other things in her life are making her feel like she cant do it with anybody there...

 

she wont see me or speak to me properly...

 

since then on her instagram (yes we have all been there, ive been doing a bit of investigating) ive seen posts of her and her children, vegan meals, and then one recently that said “the lack of cuddles im having right now is terrible” with the caption “the girl needs cuddles” my friends told me she may be reaching out to you as she may know you are checking it but it made me wonder.

 

Im so lost and confused as she was so madly in love and we were perfect and I know its rushed but it was comfortable and then she just switched out of nowhere. Literally went from 1000 to 0 in a heartbeat and I still dont get why. I personally think it has something to do with her ex, he may of said or done something and the fact she has nobody to have the kids now is also a concern. But i dropped my guard like an idiot but regardless i now love her and want her back, just no idea how to do it. Im giving her space, i just want to love her, get her back n help her

 

 

help please!!!

[HeartGoesOn]

mrk012...You're likely to get more replies if you can condense this into a shorter version of the story.

[Realitynut]

I read the whole thing. She's a nut. Emotionally unstable. You will never have a 'healthy' relationship with her. (Look up Borderline Personality disorder) She might not be...but then again she might. They many times were emotionally left (abandoned) and physically abused. Or sexually abused.

 

They go from super happy, to everything is wrong (and it's your fault) in a nano second.

 

Black and white thinking.....first you're wonderful....then you're evil. (talking to others and ignoring her)

 

The reason I think this...is because I'm borderline.....and can see the symptoms a mile away.!

 

Just check it out. Oh...and BTW...they can be OH SO EVER CHARMING when you first meet them.

LOTS of times....they push YOU away...before YOU can push them away...and abandon them again.

 

She knows she's messed up in her head. She feels it. She just doesn't know WHY or how to fix it. And you can't fix her...so don't even try.

 

Sorry. You fell head over heels awfully fast.....you were still in the infatuation stage yet.

 

Let it die.

[JGK14]

Move on buddy stop messaging her, I'm serious it's pushing her away. As hard as it is, she KNOWS you want her you've done and said everything you can. YOU can NOT change her mind, really think about that...only she can...if that's how she feels that's how she feels, the second you leave and she starts seeing what she's missing she'll text you back, and if she doesn't than you know where you stand. Be a man, back off and let this chick get her head straightened out, the lovey dovey texting and sending her gifts will make things worse.

[mrk012]

mrk012...You're likely to get more replies if you can condense this into a shorter version of the story.

 

 

i honestly tried but to get all of my points across to say how this went and why its confusing me i had to include all the details.

[mrk012]

first if all, thank you for reading through and replying guys!

 

@ realitynut and JGK14, i agree with what you guys are saying but unfortunately I did fall head over heels for her very quickly (remember she dropped her barriers first and told me she loved me before i did) and there has been no real explanation of what sparked her losing those emotions for me with me as she said. She said she still loves me etc but it dont make sense. It makes me question if shes talking to somebody else, if she even misses me etc

 

As i said shes made me feel like ive done something wrong even though i know i havent. I am reading into any messages she sends too much and over thinking it being the capricorn that i am lol.

 

Also, knowing what she has been through in her life makes me just want to be there for her and i feel like no contact will establish an insecurity in her mind that i was never truly there for her. But whatever is going on in her head, its causing her to not even want to confront me about all of this (i personally think she wont because she knows if she sees me she wont be able to lie to me and will tell me exactly whats gone on)

 

i was hoping the flowers after mothers day would be a massive help but she replied very hot and cold....made no sense to me.

 

I want her back and i am gonna try the NC thing but i have such a fear she will just lose everything for me........i just dont want to lose her in her own thoughts that ive left her when shes down like this.

[mrk012]

Thanks all for reading this and replying. I agree with you all. Problem is she has left me feeling like i did something with no explanation. I just want answers and i feel ill never get any. I dont want to do NC fully as i feel like ill lose any chance to get her back or talk to her and i just cant understand that switch from 'im everything to her' to 'i have no reason to see you'. I also feel like she needs somebody around her right now as shes never had it before and if i leave i will make her insecure mind believe i was never there for her anyways. I dont want to do that and be that guy, i want to get her back n show her she can drop her barriers again like she already did. Its just really confusing because we were so good together and randomly she ended it but in the coldest way possible. Do you think full nc will work for real?

[JGK14]

Listen, take it from a guy who has had many relationships turn exactly into this. Women think way too much about everything, if you read through these posts you'll see 500 scenarios where women just all of a sudden give their man the cold shoulder, after being madly in love. I don't know why this happens, but I know that texting and messaging and sending gifts etc etc does NOt work. She knows you're a nice guy man, what she DOESNT know is what it's like to lose you, doing what you're doing will push her away. If you go NC for awhile and she starts to come back than you know maybe there's a chance, if you go NC and she doesn't give a damn, than you have your answers you've been looking for. TRY it.

[mrk012]

Listen, take it from a guy who has had many relationships turn exactly into this. Women think way too much about everything, if you read through these posts you'll see 500 scenarios where women just all of a sudden give their man the cold shoulder, after being madly in love. I don't know why this happens, but I know that texting and messaging and sending gifts etc etc does NOt work. She knows you're a nice guy man, what she DOESNT know is what it's like to lose you, doing what you're doing will push her away. If you go NC for awhile and she starts to come back than you know maybe there's a chance, if you go NC and she doesn't give a damn, than you have your answers you've been looking for. TRY it.

 

I get what you are saying, but she keeps posting things on instagram im looking into and i know shes hurt and lonely and its all in her head that me n her wont work, its all to do with the ex....because i keep seeing hopeful signs i keep thinking shes thinking about me because what she posts applies to me and her and she knows ill see it...its like she wants to love me but she just doesnt know how to because shes been so hurt. I want to be there for her n teach her to love again basically

[Realitynut]

hahahaha.....PLEASE look up borderline personality disorder! And READ UP ON IT. Very charming at first. Will attach to you quickly. Then....because they're the 'victim'...they make it all look like your fault. Even if she's not diagnosed BPD....it's still toxic.

 

Of course if someone is gonna dump you....they make it that you did something wrong.

 

Or...they do the 'it's not you, it's me' scenario that I just got from my ex. Then he had a new woman on FB and deleted all my pics the next week. (just happened...hurt and beginning to feel bitter)

[kbbcoop77]

All you needed to read was when she said "leave me alone"

Should've said Adios and blocked her everywhere...please get some self respect, sending flowers to someone who dumped you is embarrassing and never works. Only she can change her mind, and the reality is if they do come back it's usually way after you've healed and you won't want her back. It's a great feeling it happened to me.

[Realitynut]

That would be so SWEEEEET~

[mrk012]

The latest development 3 weeks on is that i went to see a female friend last night, just a friend nothing more, we havent seen each other for a while so we had a catch up.

 

My friend tagged me on facebook just saying "nice catchup with an old friend"

 

She has txt me asking why ive sent her flowers if im f^*king this other girl (which im not)

 

But again im like. Is she bothered does she want me back? Or is she just being a about so she can make me look like the bad one.

[kbbcoop77]

Don't respond to her. Keep moving forward

[mrk012]

Well after all of that, i simply messaged her saying ive done nothing but love u n that was my crime, if u cant accept it move

On. You chose for us to break up and are proving you dont want me.

 

She then txt me apologising for everything saying she meant nothing she said and shes fighting demons at the moment and she knows all ive been to her is good and she wishes she wasnt such a coward."

 

I have not replied yet as i duno whether to come off cold or try....head f^ck lol.

[mrk012]

theres some real ish people out there....

[Ms Darcy]

I think the problem is that you have white knight syndrome. Women like this, young women with a crazy past and a bunch of kids, are to be avoided.

 

There are plenty of well adjusted, nice, not insane women out there. They may be less exciting but more stable.

 

And to the other poster who said that this has happened to him 500 clearly has no healthier "picker" and is attracted to negative patterns.

 

Stay away and reevaluate what you desire in a relationship.