love1985 Posted February 17, 2016 Share Posted February 17, 2016 I've posted about this guy before. He's been distant, I can't take it so I gave in and asked was he done with this dating situation. He tells me that it's not that he isn't interested anymore but that he is just busy. That he has technically 4 jobs and he doesn't expect me to stop dating other people to wait for his time. I told him people make time for what the they want and he agreed but said it's not that simple. In my mind it's not a big thing, just compromise but to him he says that he doesn't have time but would love to be in love it's just not that simple. I guess I'm trying to gain thoughts from someone outside to see if what he is saying makes sense or if I'm right for thinking the problem he thinks he has can be resolved with compromise and I'm just not a priority. Thoughts? Link to comment
Pixels Posted February 17, 2016 Share Posted February 17, 2016 If you're not a priority now, and weren't a priority to begin, you wont be a priority later. Link to comment
Clinton Posted February 17, 2016 Share Posted February 17, 2016 He's not interested. Move on. You'd be a booty call for him at best. Link to comment
musicman777 Posted February 17, 2016 Share Posted February 17, 2016 If a guy is really into you, he will make the time for you. Trust me, this guy is just giving you LAME excuses! When someone really is into you, they are not going to beat around the bush and drag on with your feelings. I'm a guy but I learned this the hard way with a woman last year. Some people are just dumb, or they think they will "settle" for you if things don't turn around or they find someone else. This guy is just gonna suck the life out of you and make you unhappy if you continue to pursue him and listen to his lame excuses. Move on and find someone that wants to be with you. Trust me, when someone comes along that is actually into you they will jump at the opportunity to date you and spend time with you. Link to comment
BeeCee Posted February 17, 2016 Share Posted February 17, 2016 This is just an excuse. There may be some truth to it, but it's not the real reason why he doesn't want to be exclusive with you. I think you know that. It's not about the amount of time he spends with you, it's that he doesn't make you feel like a priority. I've dated plenty of (objectively) very busy people. I have a very demanding job myself with long, irregular hours. But you can always tell if someone is making an effort to maximise what little time they have with you or not. Trust your instincts. You are posting here because you know this situation is nowhere near good enough for you. Link to comment
j.man Posted February 17, 2016 Share Posted February 17, 2016 If he's working 4 jobs (assuming we're not talking 3-hours a week a piece), then the only thing that he'll be making any extra time for is sleep, not someone nagging him for more attention while he's emotionally and physically exhausted from work. There will be no compromise. There is such a thing as being too busy for a relationship and anyone who disagrees simply has been fortunate enough not to be in a situation themselves to understand that. Find someone else if casual dating isn't your thing. Link to comment
agent1607307371 Posted February 17, 2016 Share Posted February 17, 2016 he doesn't expect me to stop dating other people to wait for his time. I told him people make time for what the they want You're trying to get him to make you a priority, but he's straight up telling you not to wait around for that. Link to comment
love1985 Posted February 17, 2016 Author Share Posted February 17, 2016 If he's working 4 jobs (assuming we're not talking 3-hours a week a piece), then the only thing that he'll be making any extra time for is sleep, not someone nagging him for more attention while he's emotionally and physically exhausted from work. There will be no compromise. There is such a thing as being too busy for a relationship and anyone who disagrees simply has been fortunate enough not to be in a situation themselves to understand that. Find someone else if casual dating isn't your thing. If he has time to post funny articles on Facebook and IG, he has time to text a quick message. I get it, I work in advertising so I get being busy but I also know when you want to make something work you fight for it. The point of the matter is that he just didn't want it. Period. Link to comment
mhowe Posted February 17, 2016 Share Posted February 17, 2016 If he has time to post funny articles on Facebook and IG, he has time to text a quick message. I get it, I work in advertising so I get being busy but I also know when you want to make something work you fight for it. The point of the matter is that he just didn't want it. Period. You are missing the point. If he has time to do those things, they are a priority or stress release or distraction for him. Being in a relationship is NOT a priority. Link to comment
j.man Posted February 17, 2016 Share Posted February 17, 2016 If he has time to post funny articles on Facebook and IG, he has time to text a quick message. I get it, I work in advertising so I get being busy but I also know when you want to make something work you fight for it. The point of the matter is that he just didn't want it. Period.Oh, my bad. I didn't know you work in advertising. I take it all back. Link to comment
love1985 Posted February 17, 2016 Author Share Posted February 17, 2016 You are missing the point. If he has time to do those things, they are a priority or stress release or distraction for him. Being in a relationship is NOT a priority. No, I get it. But he kept insulting my intelligence saying that he's busy but he wants a relationship. If you don't want to compromise then you're saying either you'll do it for someone, just not me. Ironic when I send a text saying we grown a part he has time to talk until midnight but before was oh so tired. He is playing games. Link to comment
mhowe Posted February 17, 2016 Share Posted February 17, 2016 He wants you to be around for when he is ready to take a break. He doesn't want to have to put in the effort a relationship requires. And you don't have to ever wait around for someone to make time for you. You simply tell them "this isn't working for me" and you leave. The choice is, in fact, yours to make. Not theirs. Link to comment
love1985 Posted February 17, 2016 Author Share Posted February 17, 2016 He wants you to be around for when he is ready to take a break. He doesn't want to have to put in the effort a relationship requires. And you don't have to ever wait around for someone to make time for you. You simply tell them "this isn't working for me" and you leave. The choice is, in fact, yours to make. Not theirs. Yep, very true which is why I disconnected him from my life on social and my phone. You don't get to play games with me like this especially when I was crystal clear upfront and very supportive in his endeavors. That's just selfish. Link to comment
love1985 Posted February 17, 2016 Author Share Posted February 17, 2016 You did it. What do you mean I did it? Link to comment
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