Should I leave him alone?

[love1985]

I met this guy back in November online. Chemistry was awesome as he was with me during a time that I lost my job right before Christmas. He came to cheer me up one night when his car stopped on his way to meet me I helped him and Things were going okay but he told me he was scared since he was divorced young and his last relationship went wrong. So he wanted to take it slow, and us to continue to see other people since we were only a month or so in. He hasn't been able to replace his car and now we are at three months in and he has pulled back a whole lot. Calls are few in between which I tried to understand because his work hours are crazy. I have not seen him in four weeks.

 

He texted everyday for the most part but right before the superbowl he told me he felt like a failure and wanted to move out the state triggered by his car. I sent him a text to encourage him and no response. Superbowl Sunday comes he likes my Facebook photo that's it. Monday comes and he responds to my Saturday text with thank you I appreciate you. Then two days go by nothing. Thursday he sends a pic of him and a waving emoji, I didn't respond and then when I posted on facebook a pic of me about my new job and he like it and text im so proud of you.

 

I feel like this is going up and down and idk if I should hold on, talk to him again to see if we are okay or just be done. Any thoughts?

 

I need all the help I can get.

[mg22]

Just ask him straight out what he wants. Dont be afraid , be straight forward, its your life and having someone playing Hot and Cold is not healthy.

[love1985]

Just ask him straight out what he wants. Dont be afraid , be straight forward, its your life and having someone playing Hot and Cold is not healthy.

I agree. I'm a communicator by nature. But I'm not sure if he will be truthful ya know.

[mhowe]

Drop him like a hot rock.

[mg22]

I agree. I'm a communicator by nature. But I'm not sure if he will be truthful ya know.

 

Thats up to you my dear, iam sure you know hes just playing with you. Dont waste your time and energy wondering what he will do next, ignore him.

[IAmFCA]

Let it go.

 

I have now been through two guys who were unavailable for the same reason. The reason stands for "I'm not happy with myself." That means he can't be in a healthy relationship with anyone else.

 

You know you can't solve this, and regrettably, you're right. It's out of your hands.

[love1985]

Let it go.

 

I have now been through two guys who were unavailable for the same reason. The reason stands for "I'm not happy with myself." That means he can't be in a healthy relationship with anyone else.

 

You know you can't solve this, and regrettably, you're right. It's out of your hands.

Thank you for your insight. It really sucks but I have to deal with it.

[IAmFCA]

Thank you for your insight. It really sucks but I have to deal with it.

 

Yes.

 

I fought it, like " I don't need you to have job/car/perfect life" and then I realized, it's not about that. They don't want to invite me in until they have a stronger foundation, which will make then feel better about themselves. They might invite others in; most will. Ignore that. They know the difference and don't mind letting the other person see them in their imperfection. My example #1 is in a LTR with "next", because in his words, she isn't as nice as I and so if he hurts her, it's not so bad. (?!) My example #2 is not involved with anyone. I presume he has casual situations, but nobody has crossed his very strong boundaries. No 2 has retained my respect and affection in a way #1 has not. #1 is the more likely scenario most often.

 

Sorry. There is just no middle ground for you. Let him go.

[love1985]

Yes.

 

I fought it, like " I don't need you to have job/car/perfect life" and then I realized, it's not about that. They don't want to invite me in until they have a stronger foundation, which will make then feel better about themselves. They might invite others in; most will. Ignore that. They know the difference and don't mind letting the other person see them in their imperfection. My example #1 is in a LTR with "next", because in his words, she isn't as nice as I and so if he hurts her, it's not so bad. (?!) My example #2 is not involved with anyone. I presume he has casual situations, but nobody has crossed his very strong boundaries. No 2 has retained my respect and affection in a way #1 has not. #1 is the more likely scenario most often.

 

Sorry. There is just no middle ground for you. Let him go.

that's so crazy. I just hate that when I ask if we are okay you say yes. I mean he only started acting like that when his car situation went south. But I guess it is what it is.

[IAmFCA]

that's so crazy. I just hate that when I ask if we are okay you say yes. I mean he only started acting like that when his car situation went south. But I guess it is what it is.

 

"What kind of man doesn't even have a car?" He says, I bet. As if his self esteem is tied up in his stuff. In a way, it is. In a way, it's much bigger than that. Most men expect to show affection by making your life more comfortable. It's like, he feels he has nothing to offer.

 

This is a clue for you... some part of your self esteem may mirror his. Find it and heal it so that when you move on, you find someone who knows his value.

[SoulTaker]

So he wanted to take it slow, and us to continue to see other people since we were only a month or so in. He hasn't been able to replace his car and now we are at three months in and he has pulled back a whole lot. Calls are few in between which I tried to understand because his work hours are crazy. I have not seen him in four weeks.

 

He has done you a favor. You should take his advice, and start dating other people. He's not dating material at this time, unless you're interested in casual hookups (no future).

[Ms Darcy]

When a guy tells you he wants to see other people it means he's not that interested. I would move on very quickly.