Sarah3000 Posted February 10, 2016 Share Posted February 10, 2016 Been chatting to someone online, we got talking because of a selfie he liked of mine, a few messages exchanged , some sexual banter but i drew a line when it came abit much, just said i get my kicks in reality not virtual so he said we should meet for drinks then lol to which i replied we should lol He then says Sounds good to me when are you free? To which i respond we should meet on a weekend....he then says yea definatley just let me know when and then asked what i do, to which i replied saying cool and that i had an office job and he mentioned what he did so i just reply saying cool He then says so we should meet one evening or weekend so i replied going yea defo (this message goes unread and it was a few days ago and now NOTHING) Just abit confused as to whats happened here and the weird ending of this all? Am i expecting him to message in a few days of even at all?? Find the unanswered message weird too and he has been online on whatsapp since?! Was it just an ego boost to see what i have said or what? Advice needed please as im abit lost? Thanks Link to comment
Clinton Posted February 10, 2016 Share Posted February 10, 2016 Who knows. People ghost online all the time. Don't take it personally. But I'd put this in the done bucket. Link to comment
greta96 Posted February 10, 2016 Share Posted February 10, 2016 Well, I'm not sure whether you realize this or not, but you pretty much promised him a sexual encounter. By telling him you preferred to get your kicks in reality not virtually, right in the midst of sexual banter (which shouldn't have taken place anyway with a guy you've never met in person), you basically told him you wanted action not just words and that you'd be up for a roll in the hay. Hence, he will probably message you when he's horny and has some free time for a "drink". Link to comment
TMifune Posted February 10, 2016 Share Posted February 10, 2016 He thought you'd tell him when you wanted to get together and all you said was "yea, def". So right or wrong he was looking for you to give him a window so he didn't have to pick a time and hear "no I'm busy then" and then pick another time and repeat. I think he kinda thought you weren't interested because you kept saying "yea" but not helping to move the actual getting together forward. If it's any consolation I'm pretty sure he was looking for a hook-up. Link to comment
Sarah3000 Posted February 10, 2016 Author Share Posted February 10, 2016 Oh no i did say im not that type of girl and he says i looked innocent, i can see how my words might be considered a green light for a hook up but i would of met for drinks and a smooch but defo defo not the whole hog, to me what i said was abit tongue and cheek not to be taken literally....because why on earth would i do sex chat with someone i dont know for a cheap thrill but can defo agree with ur opinion on ur reply..... Yes maybe i wasnt encouraging enough on my responses back just thought me saying yeh defo was perfectly acceptable as it was a yes??? But for him then to go cold turkey i was abit thrown? So bascially hes going to call me when hes drunk and lonely? What should of i said as i seem to be abit useless at this online dating lark.... Link to comment
greta96 Posted February 10, 2016 Share Posted February 10, 2016 First of all, don't let any guy get sexual with you before you meet in person, or on the first date. If they do that, it means they are strictly wanting to hook up. What you told him meant close to nothing. If guys had a penny for every time they hear these words from women ("im not that type of girl") followed by hot sex on first meet, they'd be millionaires lol. If you are not that type of girl, don't act like you are. Meaning, don't entertain any kind of sex talk, banter, whatever you call it, not even tongue-in-cheek or as a joke. Show them with your actions that you are not cool with it, and the only way to do so is by ending the conversations and blocking them. I understand that you didn't mean to give him that impression, but unfortunately you did. I bet you he took everything you said at face value, and will hit you up when he's in the mood. You can still fix it though. If and when he messages you again, do not accept a date in the evening. And, whatever you do, do not accept dates at his place, and do not end the date at his place or yours. He will ask you to do so, and that's your chance to say no, you would prefer to first get to know him on neutral territory, by doing fun things outside of his or your place. You gotta be careful and scan these guys thoroughly, there are tons of players online who just want to hit it and quit it. And the quickest way to spot them is when they bring up sex talk before even meeting you in person, like this guy did. Link to comment
Sarah3000 Posted February 10, 2016 Author Share Posted February 10, 2016 Thanks so much for your response i do feel abit embarrased by my words that could of been encouraging 🙈 Ill see what happens he might not even get in contact but if he does ill be careful of what i say/do Thank you for replying Link to comment
gingervixen Posted February 10, 2016 Share Posted February 10, 2016 Been chatting to someone online, we got talking because of a selfie he liked of mine, a few messages exchanged , some sexual banter but i drew a line when it came abit much, just said i get my kicks in reality not virtual so he said we should meet for drinks then lol to which i replied we should lol He then says Sounds good to me when are you free? To which i respond we should meet on a weekend....he then says yea definatley just let me know when and then asked what i do, to which i replied saying cool and that i had an office job and he mentioned what he did so i just reply saying cool He then says so we should meet one evening or weekend so i replied going yea defo (this message goes unread and it was a few days ago and now NOTHING) Just abit confused as to whats happened here and the weird ending of this all? Am i expecting him to message in a few days of even at all?? Find the unanswered message weird too and he has been online on whatsapp since?! Was it just an ego boost to see what i have said or what? Advice needed please as im abit lost? Thanks Girl, please, stay safe. You're making so many mistakes. So you agreed to go on a date with this guy without even know what his job was? He just told you after you agreed going out with him!!! And he could very well be lying about it. Are you crazy??? Moreover, what are you looking for? A serious relationship or a FWB arrangement? If you want a buddy, fine, but if you want a serious thing you don't sext and much less say " i get my kicks in reality not virtual". This guy is only trying to HAVE SEX WITH YOU. He knows you're available now, that's why he asked you out. And he ignored your message because he's probably talking to other 100 women and trying to have sex with them all. Stay safe. Link to comment
Iggy5129 Posted February 10, 2016 Share Posted February 10, 2016 He asked you to meet like 4 times, asking for specific time when you were free and all you said was "yeah defo"?? He wanted you to suggest a day. He probably gave up because he thought you weren't serious about meeting up. Link to comment
reinventmyself Posted February 10, 2016 Share Posted February 10, 2016 Whenever a man leads with sexual comments, he's testing you to see what kind of girl you are. When you set a limit and his responses start to become vague, he's bugging out and onto the next target. Don't overthink this one. Flush them out sooner next time and be done with it. Link to comment
Sarah3000 Posted February 10, 2016 Author Share Posted February 10, 2016 I kinda knew anyways because i have him on my instagram and vice versa and both our job roles are on there.... Ur right he sussed me out to be "easy" because i sexted pmsl yet in reality im completley different..... I duno how sexting makes you somehow easy its abit of flirty banter if not gone too far (which it didnt but then i stopped it) and a few pics were exchanged ... Oh well its no love lost really if he is going be that casual about it and disregard me so easily! If the attraction is there sometimes these things dnt matter but then they also do as well Link to comment
Sportster2005 Posted February 10, 2016 Share Posted February 10, 2016 When a man is into you, you'll know. He's not. Link to comment
Sarah3000 Posted February 10, 2016 Author Share Posted February 10, 2016 Hes just not that into me lol x Link to comment
BeeCee Posted February 11, 2016 Share Posted February 11, 2016 One of the evils of online dating is ghosting in a way that wouldn't happen in real life would. It seems the usual rules of decency somehow don't apply. Are you newish to the online game? Link to comment
Sarah3000 Posted February 11, 2016 Author Share Posted February 11, 2016 Yeah i would say im pretty newish to it all ive done 1 or 2 dates from it....i just get the impression men are on there for casual sex rather than i want to fall madly deep in love lol but then im only ever attracted to the non committed types but thats another story lol He messaged me at 11 in the evening going hey hey (and the message finally came up as read before he sent me the message) he got ignored - incredibly rude - game playing Link to comment
BeeCee Posted February 11, 2016 Share Posted February 11, 2016 I don't believe that all or most men are online for casual sex, but I would say that there's a real mixed bag. You really have to separate the wheat from the chaff, which can be time consuming. Sounds like you are a pretty switched gal though, so I expect you'll start to see who's worthwhile and who's not pretty quickly. I agree, the classic inane "hey hey" message at 11pm to someone you don't know, just doesn't cut it. Link to comment
Sarah3000 Posted February 11, 2016 Author Share Posted February 11, 2016 Definatley not all but i said just the men i seem attracted too unfortunatley, yep the text didnt cut it, we shall see but seems like he thinks im a certain type of girl (rightly or wrongly considering) and im just not, taking a few days to simply read a message saying "yeh defo" screams red flag (and i notice he had been online he had just chosen to not read a simple reply) which i still quite dont understand to be honest lol not like any questions were being asked to avoid - game playing at its finest here it seems.....its made me lose interest now! Link to comment
greta96 Posted February 11, 2016 Share Posted February 11, 2016 Yep..."hey hey" at 11 pm is a sure sign of a booty call. Good for you for ignoring, don't even engage this guy anymore, it's very obvious what he's after and he won't change. Link to comment
Sarah3000 Posted February 11, 2016 Author Share Posted February 11, 2016 Is weird im not local to him was he wanting pictures or sex chat? Link to comment
greta96 Posted February 11, 2016 Share Posted February 11, 2016 Is weird im not local to him was he wanting pictures or sex chat? Who knows? Probably sex chat, or even to meet for sex. It doesn't really matter, he has already showed you what he wants and if you don't want the same thing you'd be wise to never engage with him again. Link to comment
Sarah3000 Posted February 11, 2016 Author Share Posted February 11, 2016 Cool thanks everyone Link to comment
Sarah3000 Posted February 11, 2016 Author Share Posted February 11, 2016 U available?? Ha Link to comment
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