I am a little confused. Should I just forget about him?

[BalticGirl]

Dear All,

 

I guess this might look funny to some of you, but I am writing this due to my previous insecurities, being hurt and learning all over again how to “work” in the dating life.

I need an advice. I feel pretty confused.

 

I met guy, about a month ago, and had few dates with. However he felt a little off after.

Well, I put myself together and did not initiate contact. He texted me the following weekend, we exchanged some texts and I haven’t replied to the last one he sent (there was no question, and I was also asleep when I got it).

5 days has passed by, no texting. It was Friday afternoon, and I received a text from him: “ Hey, lately you went very quiet with me…” , my reply was “So did you… ?”.

He texted back immediately, that he was away with work. We texted a bit and he asked me if he will see me again. I said “ why not, it’s been fun spending time with you, but I am busy this weekend, unless I finish my lunch earlier on Sat” Then, as I joke he said that maybe it should be my turn to organize next date..

Sat, he texted me again, wishing to have a great lunch and saying that it’s a shame if I won’t be able to see him, since he would really love to meet me this evening.

My friend, who I was having early dinner had an urgent case, so had to go right after the meal and I became available. I know I perhaps should have not “become available for him” that night, but I knew he was in that area, so I texted, if he is free we can go for a drink.

He immediately texted me back saying that he would love too. We met had few drinks, and came back to mine to watch a movie. He asked why was I ignoring him all week. I said, I wasn’t. Ignoring is when you don’t reply. And I was also busy with work and other things. Sounded like he was really waiting for me to text him first.

We had a lovely time. He really makes laugh. He felt very “cuddly” and sweet..

We texted a bit on Sunday, and he asked me if I like having him around. I said the same as I just said “ sure, you are fun and make me laugh” we wished each other good night.

 

Well, I thought, OK, I will then try to organize something myself (which I was stopping myself from for a long time). I messaged him on Wednesday, asking if he is free this weekend, so I could cook a dinner. (we had in inside joke, that I did owe him one, since he cooked for me once). He immediately responded, saying that Friday he has friend’s B-day and Sat might need to look after his sister’s kids, but asked me if I can wait one day, before he finds out. All next day, he was texting me with “an updates” about the situation and that his sister was trying to find a baby sitter. Unfortunately this did not happen, he was texting me and saying how gutted he was.

 

On Sunday, I have received a text, asking how my weekend was. We texted a little bit, and I asked him if we are planning to see each other again (oh dear, and here we go, my insecurities..) he replied saying that “ why we wouldn’t we” , I told him, that next weekend I am pretty free, but he already had plans for most of the weekend. HE said he might meet on Sun after the football match, and I said” lets see”. Nest day, we exchanged few texts, and I told him that I could be available for a lunch after his football if he is still keen. Well, no he said he might watch another match with his mates.

 

Of course m, stupid me, as girl, who wants to know, I have told him, that I am a little confused, since he made a point that it would be my turn to orgazine something, I have tried but he is keep rejecting. I told him that he does not seem too keen. He replied to me “ don’t be silly- I am just pretty busy at the moment” “An being honest, I did not know there was another match after that on Sunday” . I said to him, that maybe I am being a little bit sensitive, since being ill, wished him a good night. He texted me saying “I really want to get to know you better, but there is no rush”. WE wished each other good night.

 

I guess he needs space..? But is there any point for me having any hopes at all? Have I ruined it all now?

[mhowe]

He doesn't need space. He isn't asking for space --- he was busy.

 

Organize a date, for pete's sake.

[jobelle]

It seems he's kinda interested but he is not about to make you a priority at this moment.

Your kinda nonchalant attitude in the beginning might be what attracted him, so I suggest you try to go back to acting like that and focus on yourself and your life. Act interested and open but not needy.

[missmarple]

I think you've tried enough. I don't see what else you can do when he says he's busy. I'd leave it up to him.

[ArtyO]

It sounds like you both like being around eachother, but your schedules just don't line up. It happens, and can get akward if you try and force something at this stage. There shouldn't be any stress or expectations. If you see eachother great, if not, oh well.

[laura40]

I do think he likes you, but you both have conflicting schedules, therefore a date is tricky right now.

Perhaps you can arrange something for a weekday?

If I were you I'd be inclined to let him know when you're free within the next 2 weeks or whatever and let him pick a time that's convenient.

[BalticGirl]

Thank you all. I do like this guy, yes.

I am just a little scared I ended up being a bit needy yesterday while texting him, that I am confused as it seems like he is not keen.

However when he said that he really wants to know me better, but there is no rush, I said that its right, maybe I am being just a little sensitive while being ill.

[BalticGirl]

The problem is that I am traveling next week.

I dont know, I have really tried to ask him, while being a little funny if he is not very keen.

I know he owes me nothing at this stage. But I am just keep getting mixed signals.

He promised me its nothing personal, its just him being busy...

[mhowe]

As you are...so how does that make him "acting funny?"

[Sportster2005]

People prioritize their time in direct correlation to what's important to them. Unless he's a world leader I'm sure he can make time for you if he was the least bit interested.

 

Asking you to plan I suspect is just another delay while he keeps you in the bullpen.