Crugsta Posted January 25, 2016 Share Posted January 25, 2016 My question is.... When my ex gf left me over 2 months ago after the first convo I went complete strict NC I havnt heard anything since. Most people beg for a few days or a week and pleade do what they can. This is where the dumped gets annoyed and it's driven into their brain that it won't stop. Then when it does that's when it seems to click for them that they just let go? Well what if like me you completely went strict NC straight away? Can that diminish or lower a chance of them breaking it as they get used to it instantly. Or is it better ? I know NC IS for healing and in doing well with it but deep down most of us want our ex to break the no contact at some point!! So any input be good thanks.. Link to comment
Capricorn3 Posted January 25, 2016 Share Posted January 25, 2016 I prefer to keep my dignity in tact - that means, I will never beg. Ever. If you haven't heard from her since the break up over 2 months ago, that would indicate (to me), that she has moved on and is not interested in ever getting back together again. Link to comment
Blue_Skirt Posted January 25, 2016 Share Posted January 25, 2016 Could not agree with Capricorn more. Never beg! Link to comment
starlight89 Posted January 25, 2016 Share Posted January 25, 2016 yes I would never beg either. If my bf left me for any reason there would be no going back and he knows this. We both know if we ever break up we will mean it and it will be over. By having this boundary in place it prevents someone from leaving and bouncing back 100times.. They know that if they do leave, they better be sure about it Link to comment
Crugsta Posted January 25, 2016 Author Share Posted January 25, 2016 Well this is our 2nd breakup last time it was 6months strict NC and She came running back so I can't exactly agree on your opinion Capricorn. But like most on here say both have to move on if ever a reconcile and positive happen Link to comment
dave_1966 Posted January 25, 2016 Share Posted January 25, 2016 I prefer to keep my dignity in tact - that means, I will never beg. Ever. If you haven't heard from her since the break up over 2 months ago, that would indicate (to me), that she has moved on and is not interested in ever getting back together again. I'm not sure about this, I went no contact with a girl who dumped me years back. It obviously played on her because she called sporadically for four years afterwards and long after any feelings I had for her had evaporated. I think OP is doing all the right things rather well, but needs to bear in mind she MAY get in touch a long way in to the future. I told my ex to stop calling in the end because I was with someone new. She cried and said she felt like she was the one who was dumped. Oh well, never mind. Link to comment
Man with Dog Posted January 25, 2016 Share Posted January 25, 2016 Well this is our 2nd breakup last time it was 6months strict NC and She came running back so I can't exactly agree on your opinion Capricorn. But like most on here say both have to move on if ever a reconcile and positive happen But you cannot live your life breaking up, making up then breaking up again. Me? I prefer my drama on the TV or in the cinema. Link to comment
Crugsta Posted January 25, 2016 Author Share Posted January 25, 2016 What does OP stand for ? I don't want to keep breaking up last time we did she had a case of the gigs!! Came back after she realised she was wrong. This time she has just started her career as an air hostess and worried about nt seeing me and also loving the spotlight for now. I personally think the novelty will wear away at some point and she may realise wht she has thrown away was good!! But by then I could be in a totally different place wit. My life this may be in 5 months time or 3 years time but I'm sure one day she will contact. We had an amazing bond and love for 5 years !! Link to comment
LovelyDani87 Posted January 25, 2016 Share Posted January 25, 2016 Do not beg, just accept what's happened and move forward in a positive way. My ex has lingered in my life for almost a year and I finally told her last night either we work on it or to stop contacting me every day. You haven't contacted her in 2 months? Great! Keep going! (OP means original post). Link to comment
Crugsta Posted January 25, 2016 Author Share Posted January 25, 2016 Oh no I wouldn't now break contaxt and start begging that would be ridiculous. Was you the dumper or dumpee? I do beleive somewhere in the future we will cross paths again to much bond between us! I think she needs to let her wings fly for a while experience life !! Link to comment
LovelyDani87 Posted January 25, 2016 Share Posted January 25, 2016 We actually had a bad falling out and went our separate ways, recently we have bonded more and spent time together but I refuse to drag last year's misery into the new year so I basically told her to leave me alone unless she's ready to work towards a new relationship. You never know what the future may hold but until then move forward and hang in there! Link to comment
Crugsta Posted January 25, 2016 Author Share Posted January 25, 2016 Ah well that's brilliant I'm sure she will realise your worth it bro! Good that you arnt being easy and giving into her!! If mine returns in the future I'm gona play hard to get for sometime I let her come back into my life to easy last time!! Maybe another reason she left because she did it once so she knows she could come back easily! If it ever happens and I still want to reconcile if it does I'll tell her I don't wand go and tbh let her come scratching down the walls to really see if she is genuine this time. She has been with me since age of 15 now 21 I think she needs to experience life and other guys for a while to maybe realise what she had!! Link to comment
Capricorn3 Posted January 25, 2016 Share Posted January 25, 2016 I'm not sure about this, I went no contact with a girl who dumped me years back. It obviously played on her because she called sporadically for four years afterwards and long after any feelings I had for her had evaporated. I don't view "calling sporadically for 4 years" as begging per se. To me "begging" is more in the form of calling every few days, weekly, crying, and literally begging "please please take me back, I'll do anything, I'll change, I'll do whatever you want" etc etc. THAT is my take on begging. A call every once in a while over a period of years, I don't see that as begging, but maybe that's just me. Link to comment
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