Playing hard to get...

[Queen_Midas]

Ok so now I'm TRYING to play hard to get, same guy as before, just now he knows I like him, it's up to him right?..

 

So yesterday we had our course, the other girl (who we're both friends with) asked if we'd like to go for a quick drink (we tend to do this after the course sometimes).. and "he" was standing next to her.. and I said,

"Yeah... are you guys going?..." and looked at them both.. and then "actually no I'd better not.. i'm meeting my best friend..see you next week thought."

So his reaction was a bit weird. Like a very short "ok. bye.".. like he was almost annoyed, maybe surprised is more the case?

 

A few minutes later, he turns back to me and says, "do yuo need a lift to the station?" it was late at night and he's quite chivalrous, he always walks me when i have no one else to walk with.. but this time there's a whole grp of us.. and they'd already offered to drop me at the station.. so I said, no it's ok..

 

Should i take these as positive reactions to my playing hard to get? A) He shows concern, b) he's a bit surprised when I do say no..

 

Also he asked me A LOT of questions last night.. about my uni stuff that's stressing me out, he always asks me about things that i am stressing about, and tries to kinda reassure me..

 

Am I reading too much into it AGAIN?

 

QM

[DN]

IMO playing hard to get is a dangerous game. How confident are you that he thinks you are worth the getting? While you are playing games some girl who simply appears natural, friendly and attracted to him may well have taken him off the market while you are still wondering what happened.

 

Playing head games would be fine if you knew what was going on in the other persons head - but you don't.

[Queen_Midas]

It's not like I've played hard to get the whole time..it's a difficult situation to explain.. I'm more doing this regain some of the "power" (for want of a better word) that I lost before when I was always miss. nice, always there and it got me nowhere.. now if he stills wants a chance with me HE has to do the chasing.. if he does, great, if not then obviosuly it's not meant to be.. but I need to know he's willing to make an effort.. and i need him to realise that I am not some desperate girl who's waiting around for him to decide what he wants to do.. All very confusing i know!

 

qm

[MetallicAguy]

Sorry, but I think from his actions that he likes the girl he was with (obviously she sounded attracted to him and he probably was to her too and he was trying to fake it by showing concern....sounds to me like a "friendly" concern if you understand my thought.

[Mun]

Just wondering.. has this guy ever expressed interest in you ? Has he asked you out before? Does he flirt and play around with you at all?

 

If he hasn't then this attraction might be one-sided and I would hate for you to get too excited about something that may not ever happen.

[ShySoul]

This is why you don't play hard to get or worry about having the power in a relationship. It only leads to confusion, misunderstandings, and uncertainty. Be honest and straightforward and there's no room for doubt.

 

Honestly, I don't see any signs that he's interested. It sounds as if he was just being a gentleman and offering you a ride and talking with you. If you don't want to be looked at as desparate, then either make something happen or move on. Waiting around for someone who doesn't show interest could easily be taken as desparate.

[corvidae]

I honestly feel that when someone says "they should make the effort with me, and if they don't it 'wasn't meant to be'" that they are just trying to make excuses for their behaviour. As human beings we all have something to offer, we all should have self-respect and we all are worth something. Making one person 'chase' you to 'prove themselves' is a poor thing to do. When it fails it is not because 'it wasn't meant to be', but because you willfully ruined it through conscious actions.

[Day_Walker]

I dont believe that you can play hard to get when a person already knows that you like them. When you are interested in a person and you dont know how they feel and you begin to read too much into things. At this point you really cant assume that anything more than he is being friendly. Unless he has shown an interest in you, your efforts are in vain.

[facksfunny]

Sorry for my ignorence, but what exactly does hard to get mean? I think this girl might be playing hard to get with me.

[hecka_bekah]

So he knows for sure that you like him. If he's acting like he normally does than that could mean he's not frightened by the idea that you like him. Or maybe a guy would act more shy if he liked you or pressured to do something about it...

 

The point is that it's confusing trying to read into the signs!! That's why you can't be too certain about something until you either ask him yourself or just get to know him better if you don't think now's the right time. It seems to me that playing hard to get can be effective if used on occasion and after you already got the guy! Something simple like having plans of your own or not calling as often. I wouldn't say that that would necessarily be playing hard to get, but it's showing the guy that you can be fine without him. I wouldn't do this all the time, just enough to allow the guy to miss you a little bit.

 

The best thing is to get to know a guy very well so he has something to think about when he misses you! Establish a great friendship so he'll be able to see who you really are and he'll make a decision on that. That way you won't have to worry about playing too hard to get, pressuring him, etc.

 

I'm taking this advice myself because there is this very attractive guy in my class (I think you read and responded to my topic). I've only talked to him a few times and haven't really met him yet!! I'd really like to find out just who he really is but first I need to break the ice and just go up and talk to him more. That way he'lll know he can be himself around me since I have interest in his friendship.

 

I thought a few times about playing hard to get a little bit, but I think it's best not to worry about that and just talk to him whenever I get a real good opportunity to. I don't want to worry so much about the hints I give him because most likely he's not going to look into it! LOL.

 

I know it's difficult since you don't want to lay it on too thick but you also don't want to play too many mind games! Just act the way you normally do around friends so you know you're doing what's natural. That way he'll be able to see you for who you really are! Good luck with that guy! I'm sure all who have posted in response to your topic would like to hear what happens!

 

Rebekah