HERE I GO AGAIN! I NEVER LEARN!!!!

[esboogie143]

I am once again back at square one. My ex-boyfriend had im'd me after saying all this bull that for me to never call him again. text him/email him. He had decided to leave me because he wanted to live his life. If you read my last post you will see the whole story. Anyhow...he im's me to ask how im doing after3 days...I must say that I really was so excited that I saw his IM but then again after I had answered his question which was what r u doing today? Just because he was curious..I gave him the whole run down of what i wsa doing...I really regret that I even answered him. He has treated me like crap for no reason he has cursed me out and all that...and when he feels like having any contact with me..I like an idiot fall into the trap. it hurts sooooo much. Its Valentine's Day and he is happy living his life while im depressed without him. Its sooo hard to let go!! PLEASE HELP ME!!! I CANT EVEN FUNCTION!!! Ileave him messages because he doesnt answer my calls and he calls and tells me to GET OVER HIM AND MOVE ON WE WILL NEVERBE TOGETHER AGAIN!!! BUT THEN HAS THE NERVE TO CONTACT ME WHEN ITS AT HIS CONVENIENCE!

I AM SOOOO AND HE HURTS ME MORE AND MORE EVERYTIME ANYTHING HAPPENS WITH HIM!!!!!!

[486dx4]

I finally did read your previous post and like the other people posting have said doing the no contact thing is the way to do it. I really see you were very wrapped up and in love with him but the way he is treating you is terrible. To quote from Dr. Phil you have to take back your power and not let an IM from him drive you crazy like that. Right now your ex has your power it seems.

 

I was devastated when my ex gf broke up with me over a year ago now. Today she is married to her ex bf (and now pregnant) that she was seeing before me and my life is going on. I am trying to see other people and although I too am alone on Valentine's day that is ok.

 

You have to look at the way the other person is treating you in a relationship. With my ex I was really in love with "the idea" of the person and the relationship more than her (what she really was like). She was not a very responsible person (red flags all over the place) and when I looked at things rationally what kind of future would I have had with her? What kind of role model would be have been to your daughter and how would he have really treated you in the long run if things "worked out" for you? Maybe thing would change but maybe not (I thnk the latter is more the case but many may disagree). You have to think about the scenario of what if he just decided to say you are the only one for me and I want to get back together. I think you and your daughter deserve better than someone who exhibits that kind of behavior.

 

Things will be ok. You just have to really go with NC and be firm about it. Like I did initially I counted the days which soon went to weeks, then to months.

 

I wish you the best of luck....

[DragonGirl724]

oh boy.

 

question for you.

 

why?? why do you do these things?? answer that for yourself.

 

you say you hate the fact that you never seem to learn from your mistakes. so whats the deal???...start now!!!! everything you said you hate doing....DONT DO! gain some self control! he treated you like crap, you know it, so scrounge up any lasting remains of self worth you have for yourself & run with it!!! stop this obsessive behavior. you need to gain control over yourself! youre upset b/c youre depressed & hes happy. SO, dont complain about it. do something about it! live your life the way it was before you ever knew him!

 

hes not just your ex bf...hes your anchor.....whats keeping you tied to this particular spot in your life preventing you from moving forward.

 

-DG724

[katiekate1982]

Hello all,

 

I do the same thing to myself, get all wrapped up in my ex. I know I shouldn't he cheated on me and is with that woman now, this is only 1 month for me and my 1st Valentines day without him. I'm doing pretty bad today, of course wishing he would call, buy what would that solve, NOTHING, it would make me feel worse in the long run. Guys as we know can sometimes be jerks. Me personally would feel alot better if he was feeling like crap and missing me, but i'm sure that is far from the case. Sometimes guys don't think of things like we do, I will dwell on something til ot makes me sick. I'm going to take a stand right now, I WILL NEVER let a man run my life like my ex did and has been, it isn't fair and I have much more to live for than just him!! Sorry I didn't mean to offend any guys out there, if I did i'm sorry. Stay strong and don't let him have that power over you!! YOU are in CONTROL NOW, NOT HIM!!

[esboogie143]

I agree and thank you for that comment. BUT I must say that though its right...I still act like the way i have been acting. Im alone right now also on V-Day and yes it sucks...But i will need sooo much more strenght to not call him!!! I hate myself for feeling this way!!! I just hate it!! How nmuch more do I have to take to get it through my head that I am better than that and COULD DO SOOO MUCH BETTER!!

 

I APPRECIATE ALL OF YOUR COMMENTS!!! YOU GUYS ARE GONNA HELP ME RECOVER!!! I KNOW IT!!!

[katiekate1982]

Just don't call, believe me I know its hard, but you will thank yourself after u don't call him. Keep yourself BUSY call up friends, family, who ever, just not him. Think about it , he isn't calling you, he could probably care less and he is getting on with his life, believe me. YOU should take care of yourself and get on with your life too!! I know that sounds harsh but you need to worry about YOU, because no one else will. Everything happens for a reason, you might not know what it is, but eventually you will figure it out. In the mean time STAY STRONG and KEEP BUSY!! DO NOT CALL HIM, YOU ARE BETTER THAN THAT!!

[evy38]

Sometimes when you obsess and can't stop, you need to change what you are obsessing about. Instead of obsessing about him, start listing every rotten little thing he's done. Then move to all the cons in your relationship. Make that your obsession for a while. You'll look at him with new eyes after a while, and see him alittle more realistically.