Ex is expecting us to be good friends after the breakup, we have a dog together.

[surfdiva]

My ex and I have broken up, he's moving out at the beginning of the month (together 3 years, lived together 1 year). Although it's been stressful living with my ex, we've made the best of it. It's a pretty amicable breakup, we just don't love each other anymore.

 

My ex has made it clear that he is expecting that we'll remain "good friends" and has even said he still wants to get together from time to time for drinks, etc. I've told him I don't think I will be able to do that, that it would be too painful for me.

 

The issue is that we have a dog together, I'm keeping the dog with me. I have a son and he has two kids. His kids, just like my son consider the dog to be their dog (they even have a Facebook and Instagram page for him). I don't want to take the dog away from his kids since they love him so much but I don't know if I could handle seeing my ex. He seems much more detached from the relationship (he has depression issues and I suspect bi-polar) and I'm much more emotional about the breakup.

 

I'm just not sure how I'll be able for his kids to see their fur-baby without me seeing my ex? How would you handle it?

[mhowe]

I would tell him to get his kids another dog.

[Clinton]

Agree with Mhowe. Dogs don't need to have joint custody. They are replaceable

[lostandhurt]

Why would you need to be friends with your ex so his kids could have a play date with the dog? There are all kinds of divorced people that share children that are not friends in any sense of the word.

 

The kids will get over no seeing their furbaby in time and they can always just follow him on Instagram when your son posts about the dog.

 

He can always get a puppy or better yet a shelter/rescue dog for his children.

 

Lost

[DoF]

He is trying to prevent you from ever healing. Cause as long as there is contact, reminders of him (his kids) you will never recover and get over the break up.

 

So don't do it. Block him/break all contact so that you can BEGIN healing. ANY contact = reset of your healing time.

 

Tell him to get his own dog and break it off.

[surfdiva]

Why would you need to be friends with your ex so his kids could have a play date with the dog? There are all kinds of divorced people that share children that are not friends in any sense of the word.

 

The kids will get over no seeing their furbaby in time and they can always just follow him on Instagram when your son posts about the dog.

 

He can always get a puppy or better yet a shelter/rescue dog for his children.

 

Lost

 

Actually, it's my ex that thinks we're going to be friends, even though I said I wouldn't be able to do it he thinks we're going to have this awesome friendship where we get together for dinner, etc. as friends. Um, nope. Not gonna happen.

 

He can't get a dog of his own, he's moving back in with his mom and she won't want to get a dog. It's actually his kids (not my son) that has the Instagram and FB accounts for the dog, they love him so much, it does break my heart that they won't be able to see him but I guess that's what I'm going to have to do.

[mhowe]

That's life....no need to stay connected to the ex like one big happy NON family.

[surfdiva]

That's life....no need to stay connected to the ex like one big happy NON family.

 

Very true. I was just thinking of his kids. I know my son would be heartbroken to not see his dog anymore, but that's the price kids unfortunately pay for breakups.

 

My ex-husband and I had a great arrangment after we broke up, the dog we had together went to who ever's turn it was to have our son. So where our son went, his dog went to that house. It worked great until the doggie passed.

[JustWishing]

If you can't be friends, you can't be friends and he has to accept it. In my opinion he is using the dog to keep in tough with you to know what is going on in your life (control thing). I am sure he will not live at his mom's forever (at least I sure hope not). So, after he moves out of moms he can get his kids a doggy. This way one more rescue finds a new home. Yay!