Does she want me back or she wants to forget me?

[John Alvarez]

After my girlfriend broke up with me, I followed the no-contact rule for 30 after which we started texting again in a friendly manner.

 

During those 30 days I also posting things on Facebook once in a while just to make it a little bit jealous. Suddenly, she unfriended on FB but continued texting me.

 

I decided to call her on the phone and she said that for her it wasn't that easy to move on as it was for me; that she still remembers when we made love, when we kissed, and that her kids love me. However, she also said she's doing everything she can to forget me because she knows it isn't going to workout after the troubles we had.

 

Before the breakup I became jealous and controlling and that made her lose attraction for me. On that same phone conversation I invited her for lunch as friends. She told me that she can't see me as a friend because she couldn't stand the thought of seeing me with someone else.

 

At the same time she doesn't want to see me because she feels weak and she may end up kissing me if she sees me in person. In conclusion, she doesn't want to see me and she wants to forget me.

 

My question is: Why does she tell me she'd kiss me if she sees me and at the same time tells me she wants to forget me? Yet, she doesn't block my number and still replies to my texts. I'm confused with all those mixed signals.

[melancholy123]

Maybe she wants to keep you on edge, just to annoy you. I think you need to go back to NC and dont stop that after 30 days, do it for good.

[SooSad33]

I'd say because she is also still hurting. She is confused, emotional, etc. ( Hot & cold behaviour).

 

You both need more time.. apart.

So you don't push her away more, tick her off again, etc.. maybe go back to No contact, to work on healing.. like she should as well.

[John Alvarez]

Maybe she wants to keep you on edge, just to annoy you. I think you need to go back to NC and dont stop that after 30 days, do it for good.

 

She does annoy me with that behavior. I do want her back though. I love that woman and she admitted that she still has feelings for me, that's why she's afraid to see me in person because she may end up in bed with me. I asked her: -Do you want me to leave you alone so you can forget me?-, she responded: -I don't know-.

[John Alvarez]

More time of NC will seem like an eternity to me, but you're right that it is still very easy to tick her off and push her away. The hot/cold behavior is really annoying. Yet, she was clear that she can't see me as a friend, which I think is a good thing for now.

[Movingforward3]

Ex behavior is always hard to decipher. Stick to no contact and only respond if she initates the contact.

[boltnrun]

She can't see you because, although she still has feelings for you, she realizes it won't work.

 

It's too easy to fall into the "ex sex" trap. It ends up getting the both of you confused and causes a lot of hurt feelings. She knows this, therefore she wants to avoid you so it won't happen.

 

Communicating with you on an electronic device won't lead to sex, so she feels "safer" that way.

[John Alvarez]

The thing is I want to get her back and I'm willing to do everything on my part to make it work. I don't want her to forget about me either. Her mixed messages make me think she wants me to fight for her or let her go for good. What should I do?

[boltnrun]

If she feels the same way you do, she won't "forget" about you. You haven't "forgotten" about her, have you?

 

She said she can't see you in person. She also said she wants to forget about you, which is in complete opposition of what you say you want. If you truly do love her, you'll respect her wishes. She knows how to get ahold of you if she changes her mind.

 

Remember, you BOTH have to want to get back together...in order to get back together. You alone wanting it isn't enough.