jox Posted October 10, 2015 Share Posted October 10, 2015 so ive been speaking to a guy for about 4 month texting alot everyday without a doubt, i usually call him sometimes too, we talk about meeting up now and again but it never really goes anywhere. He lives in the same country as me and is about a 4-5 hour train ride from me. Hes about 16 years old than me too. Anyway i have a gut feeling suddenly andi feel like hes not interested anymore i always try to persuade him to call me for a change as its always me calling and kind of always me making conversation so im trying to distance myself and see what he does. The whole meeting up thing too seems to be an issue tbh im 19 and hes 35 and i find it pretty daunting and scary if im honest so i suggested him coming here to see me or even meeting half way as its alot to travel. Each time i mention it though he kind of goes along with it then brushes it off like it doesnt matter he lives alone with his dog and always says he couldnt meet me because of his dog, i do know he has family etc who could look after, it seems hes alot more interested and bothered about his dog than me! i just dont know if im waisting my time tbh Link to comment
RainyCoast Posted October 10, 2015 Share Posted October 10, 2015 you shouldn't be meeting up with a 35year old whom you don't even know. luckily, sounds like it wasn't in his plans anyway. he probably just enjoys the ego boost- and even that not enough to actively seek it. why don't you date your peers who live closer to you? Link to comment
jox Posted October 10, 2015 Author Share Posted October 10, 2015 cant really find anyone around here tbh, so joined a site with people from all over Link to comment
melancholy123 Posted October 10, 2015 Share Posted October 10, 2015 He's probably married! OMG what are you doing trying to date a guy 35? Seriously you have nothing in common with someone almost twice your age! Find someone local to you! Link to comment
Rosti87 Posted October 10, 2015 Share Posted October 10, 2015 OP, Cyber-long-distance relationships seldom work out. You are crushing on an image he has created. Until you interact in person with someone on a regular basis you really don't know what he is truly like. If he is pulling back he probably has something to hide whether that be a girlfriend, a marriage or a life that you would probably NOT find appealing. I would move on and explore other options. Link to comment
SooSad33 Posted October 10, 2015 Share Posted October 10, 2015 You are only 19 and way more vulnerable at that age. he is way too far away to have proper interactions with/relationship, etc. Why don't you totally back off from this guy.. and find someone closer to your age and location. What you're doing here is a waste. Link to comment
ParisPaulette Posted October 11, 2015 Share Posted October 11, 2015 At four months in, this guy is not interested in dating you or a full-on proper romantic relationship or he'd have already made the effort to come see you and to do so in a public place where you'd feel safe and you two could meet. Many people will happily waste your time simply to have a text buddy, a few will be scary and try to manipulate you to leave the safety of the known and put yourself in a really vulnerable position by going someplace with them that you don't know, have no friends in, and can't get out of easily should things turn out not to be what they seem. I know you think you have an intimate relationship, but you don't. You don't know anything about this guy beyond what he lets you see or hear via text and phone. He could be married or have a girlfriend, he could be older than he says he is, he could have all manner of secrets you have no way of knowing about since you do not see him or meet any of his friends or family, In fact, I'm betting you've never even Googled the guy to see if he's who he says he is. He is hiding something though if he won't come meet with you. A man who wanted to honestly date you, to have a true relationship with you, to let you get to know each other properly does so in person. They don't stall and do it for four months. Time to end it, block and delete him, get off your computer and go meet guys you can see daily and talk to and get to know. Who will make a serious effort to do the same back. Link to comment
jox Posted October 11, 2015 Author Share Posted October 11, 2015 You were right Paulette, hes talking to other girls now Link to comment
Rosti87 Posted October 12, 2015 Share Posted October 12, 2015 You were right Paulette, hes talking to other girls now OP, Don't let this get you down. You are young and have a lot of time to find a man who is truly into you. I think sticking closer to home is a better bet that this scenario. Link to comment
ParisPaulette Posted October 12, 2015 Share Posted October 12, 2015 Sorry to hear that, but the good news is you are free to now block and delete him and move on. Find guys around you that you can get to know in person. I know that's tougher to do sometimes, been there myself, but there's nothing like seeing them with your own two eyes to find out who they really are. Link to comment
boltnrun Posted October 12, 2015 Share Posted October 12, 2015 Yep, he's probably married. You can't meet him because of his dog! That's completely ridiculous. And if your only source of thinking he's not married is him telling you he's not married...well, people lie. And a 35 year old cheater is very motivated to lie when a 19 year old girl is interested in him. Link to comment
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