Rmbrmelover Posted October 10, 2015 Share Posted October 10, 2015 Was dating this woman over the summer who had been a friend of mine for 6 years or so. I had just got out of a previous relationship and to make a long story short, we hit it off magically on everything from interests, values, sexual physicality, etc. The summer was great. I've know this woman a long time she knows my strengths, weakness, all About me. Fast forward... And again to make a long story short, I ended up being unfaithful and cheating on her. I know already the weakness shame pain and hurt I caused and I know a lot of you will say I don't deserve to get her back. Do know I'm Not here to get people to validate what I did as ok or a mistake cause neither of those excuses are acceptable. This being the case she found out and I told Her the truth that it wasn't a relationship it was just "was what it was" which was Infidelity. She was / is obviously very hurt. This is going on about a month and a half now. She hasn't shut me out. She says she's very hurt but that she still loves me but she said we will never get back together at all. She said she would never be able to respect herself if she did. We hung out recently for the first time since this happened, and it went off without a hitch, we hung out, joked, shared stories, flirted and then yes ended up physical at the end. Since the. She continues to very contradictory on her views. Wants me to leave her alone but when I text or call she's more than willing to Talk and joke and text like normal. When I ask her to hang out she says yes. She knows I love her and I know she loves me. It's become very frustrating for me even though I know what I did. I want her back but I honesty have no idea what she is thinking cause her viewpoint on me and us is all over the place. Any insight or advice Link to comment
melancholy123 Posted October 10, 2015 Share Posted October 10, 2015 Have you sat down with her and talked this through? An honest talk is in order for the sake of both of you. Link to comment
Rmbrmelover Posted October 10, 2015 Author Share Posted October 10, 2015 We have talked extensively. She's still hurt. And to be honest a lot of her talk is just usually not "constructive". It's a lot of "well you shouldn't have &@$& this other girl then" But at the same time she's willing to see me, joke, text, even be physical but still says we have no future sometimes then other times that she doesn't know what she thinks Link to comment
Movingforward3 Posted October 10, 2015 Share Posted October 10, 2015 I think you just need to give it time. It takes effort and action to rebuild trust. Show her you are focused on being with her. Bet truthful and keep your word. Be supportive and follow thru. Show her she is your girl. Do not be with any other women! Link to comment
kbbcoop77 Posted October 10, 2015 Share Posted October 10, 2015 Cheating probably was a relationship deal breaker for her as with most people. She using you for friendship and sex. That's probably all she'll offer. Link to comment
Rmbrmelover Posted October 10, 2015 Author Share Posted October 10, 2015 If she is just using me for friendship and sex then why is she telling me in these deeper conversations that she still loves me? It doesn't add up which is why I'm posting on here, cause her words and actions aren't matching up. She's saying I don't see a future for us, but her actions are still to be in touch with me, hang out, have fun, and still be physical. I don't get it Link to comment
SooSad33 Posted October 10, 2015 Share Posted October 10, 2015 You saw this woman over the summer.. and you 'love' her? I doubt that. More like 'lust'. Love develops over time. And if you really did love her, I doubt you would have slept with someone else... "She's saying I don't see a future for us, but her actions are still to be in touch with me, hang out, have fun, and still be physical. I don't get it" - She's using you to her advantage. You two have NO future. is this what you want? Link to comment
jobelle Posted October 10, 2015 Share Posted October 10, 2015 If you are to have a chance with this woman you will need to man up and talk this through with her and try to rebuild trust, which will take time as it should. That means you are never to give her a reason not to trust in you again. Also, ask yourself why you cheated. Is there a chance it will happen again? Try to be honest with yourself and her. It will save you a lot of trouble. Link to comment
Rmbrmelover Posted October 11, 2015 Author Share Posted October 11, 2015 I hate to say it but it's not a question about me. I know what I did was wrong, I know it's a horrible and hard lesson learned and I'm lucky that this woman is even talking to me. I'm trying to figure out where her head is cause what she is telling me and what she is doing are completely opposite. She says there is no future for us, but continues to see me text me hang out say she has feelings and loves me. It's confusing Link to comment
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