married but feel single

[galaxy888]

My husband works long hours, he is always tired, sometimes he just drifts off into his own little world and I'm just sat there, not much communication going on, we have 3 kids so I'm always busy with them, we never spend time alone and he is not interested in sex at all, he says he loves me but I need more from him, he falls asleep downstairs every night instead of coming to bed with me, I honestly feel my life would be no different if I were single, I do love him a lot but not sure if he's with me just for the kids sake as he just doesn't seem interested in me at all. Help.

[reinventmyself]

Have you told him how you feel?

[galaxy888]

Have you told him how you feel?

 

Yes I have, it changes for a day or two then goes back to normal, I'm fed up of telling him.

[reinventmyself]

If what you're doing isn't working then you need to.do something different.

Have you considered handling this differently?

[annie24]

Do you two have any alone time? Have someone watch the kids while you go off and have a romantic date?

[galaxy888]

If what you're doing isn't working then you need to.do something different.

Have you considered handling this differently?

 

Any ideas appreciated.

[galaxy888]

If what you're doing isn't working then you need to.do something different.

Have you considered handling this differently?

 

Do you two have any alone time? Have someone watch the kids while you go off and have a romantic date?

 

Not much alone time, we occasionally have a pub lunch but it never develops into anything more.

[reinventmyself]

Tell him you're fed up like you just told us. Sit him down and tell him something HAS to change. If your recommendations for change aren't working then ask him if he has any good ideas. His answer might give you an indication of his commitment for change.

Try to approach it not from a place of complaining but appeal to his love for you and his family and ask if there's another way the 2 of you can work together to create a better relationship.

Annes advise is great too! Plan date nights. Don't wait for him to do it.

[Hermes]

Have a look here.

 

link removed

 

"Recently, the New York Times reported on an interesting study by the National Sleep Foundation in an article titled "Study Finds Many Are Too Tired for Sex", which suggested that, "One in four Americans married or living with someone say they are so sleep-deprived that they are often too tired to have sex."

[galaxy888]

If what you're doing isn't working then you need to.do something different.

Have you considered handling this differently?

 

Tell him you're fed up like you just told us. Sit him down and tell him something HAS to change. If your recommendations for change aren't working then ask him if he has any good ideas. His answer might give you an indication of his commitment for change.

Try to approach it not from a place of complaining but appeal to his love for you and his family and ask if there's another way the 2 of you can work together to create a better relationship.

Annes advise is great too! Plan date nights. Don't wait for him to do it.

 

Thank you I appreciate it.

[reinventmyself]

Good luck!!

[sadchick83]

The awful truth these days is that people are being worked to the bone in the workforce. Have a look at the article today about Amazon (in the New York Times) and how they fire you if you cannot pull your weight after recovering from cancer. There is a snitch line so people can gang up on their colleagues so they aren't the bottom 10% that gets fired. It is horrible!

 

Your husband sounds overworked and stressed out. Have a relative come in and babysit for weekly date nights. Or, convince him to take on a job with less stress and less hours. 3 kids is a big responsibility. I am finding my married friends with more than 2 children are just drained all the time and have little left in them for romance.

 

Also, I would not "tell" him anything else. Just plan some things that will be light and fun. If he is super stressed and tired the last thing he needs is anything resembling an ultimatum.

[Hermes]

How dreadful Sadchick.

 

I have only bought once or twice from Amazon in the past, and definitely would never again after reading what you mentioned. Hopefully that article will get people thinking. Surprising how a loss of customers can get "big corp" to waken up and stop engaging in the slave trade.