Never been in love

[Susie7373]

I wanted to talk about this because sometimes I feel as if it's awkward for me to be this way... I am 18 yrs old & have never been in a relationship. You know in high school you usually have this little love interest with a crush or like a fling? Well I've never had any of that before and I feel as if there's something wrong with me. I am NOT trying to push love because I know that it's sometimes that comes naturally but I'm just curious as to if this has happened to anyone else? All my friends have been in past relationships and I'm the old-woman out. I also know that I am a very picky person when it comes to men. I tend to like older (not TOO much older. like around 23-28 ) which is a 10 year difference for me. When I go out I've noticed as well as the people I'm with that I attract that age group of men that notice me more than the 18-20 crowd. I also dress a lot more conservative for my age & act like it. Is that weird? Need some advice xx

[mahendar]

First focus on your studies don't go for any deviations..

[Man with Dog]

I was 18 and never been in a relationship. The next birthdays passed and it never happened until I was nearly 24. I'm on my 2nd marriage.

 

I knew 2 people who lost their virginity in their 30s.

 

It feels like a big deal at the time but it isn't. When you hold your baby in your arms they don't give an about your relationship history.

 

Loads of people don't have relationships until their 20s or later.

 

If you want to you can give fate a helping hand by searching for like-minded people online. You may simply not be getting much social contact with men who could rock your boat and vice-versa. Also, don't focus solely on one age group. In your case, I'd be wary of anyone much over 30, especially with kids but I've dated (and married) outside my age group and it's no big deal.

[Knot2loud]

I would consider you more mature than your peers of the same age. There's nothing wrong with you. Like you said: You're picky - Well, you can afford to be. There are 3-4 billion men on this planet - keep being picky. No one is perfect, but there's nothing wrong in waiting and looking for a man who doesn't have jealousy issues, isn't insecure, isn't lazy, doesn't smoke pot or take other illicit drugs, doesn't drink like a fish, not hung up on porn, has no plan for his future, etc... You will eventually find the right guy for you. Just be patient.

[mhowe]

I never dated in highschool, let alone call it a relationship. That happened in my junior year of college.

 

There isn't anything wrong with you at all. Focus on friends, family and studying. Plenty of time for the dating scene.

 

And the difference between 18 (in highschool) and 23+ is HUGE (already graduated and working). Don't aim for that ---- aim for peers.

[reinventmyself]

Sounds perfectly normal to me.

You do sound possibly a little more mature than your peers and maybe not so compatible with young men your age.

That will change as young men tend to mature more slowly. They will catch up.

Neither of my sons had relationships just like you and are both in their 2nd steady relationships well into their 20's

As a parent I am glad they waited and spent their time focusing on school, sports and friendships.

I think most teenagers aren't really mature enough for a relationships and they tend to be fraught with obstacles.

I noticed their generation was more about being social in large groups rather than pairing up . .

so my suggestion to you is to not give any concern.

[Susie7373]

Thank you all for the advice! I really needed that

[Man with Dog]

I never dated in highschool, let alone call it a relationship. That happened in my junior year of college.

 

There isn't anything wrong with you at all. Focus on friends, family and studying. Plenty of time for the dating scene.

 

And the difference between 18 (in highschool) and 23+ is HUGE (already graduated and working). Don't aim for that ---- aim for peers.

 

In my experience, differences in socio-economic class and level of intelligence/education is more of an issue than age, race or nationality.

[browneyedgirl36]

I never dated in highschool, let alone call it a relationship. That happened in my junior year of college.

 

There isn't anything wrong with you at all. Focus on friends, family and studying. Plenty of time for the dating scene.

 

And the difference between 18 (in highschool) and 23+ is HUGE (already graduated and working). Don't aim for that ---- aim for peers.

 

I agree. Nothing wrong with you. I actually think you're pretty smart to have not dated yet. You've got the rest of your life to get into a serious relationship. Enjoy your freedom, work on your studies, do things you love. It'll happen when the right time comes, and that "right time" is different for everyone.

 

My boyfriend and I were talking the other day, and we were joking that NO ONE should date before age 18 -- that there should be a legal dating age. We were joking, but I kind of think we were on to something....

[WithLove]

I felt this exact same way at your age. I didn't have my first boyfriend til I was 18, and we didn't have sex til I was 20. I look back now, at 25, and I thank God I waited so long. I was in no state of mind at 18 to consider having sex or thinking about a long term relationship. I wish I had waited to be in my first relationship, too. I did not have the mental capabilities of dealing with sex and everything that's entailed. I know you feel left out, like you're missing something really great and even important. But for real, sooner than you realize, you're gonna meet someone and it'll happen.

[Dottieflanogon]

You should just focus on being a happy person. Happiness attracts other happy people. Continue to date. I am sure you are either in college, trade school, or about to finish some educational background. Everything else will come in due time. Don't feel bad this is normal.