loulou76 Posted August 9, 2015 Share Posted August 9, 2015 Just want some ideas on how to find friends as an adult. I feel that all I do is go to work, cook and make dinner, go to gym then bed.Then work again in the morning. I'm can be reserved and a bit shy until I get to know people. I'm in my early 30's a single woman without children. A great majority of my close friends are married and have children, so their time tends to revolve around their families. My single friends (although I call them friends, they are not close friends) have different interests to me like partying ( they are a bit distant lately as I keep refusing their invites to party / drinking nights out) and give me poor advice regarding relationships. I have strong boundaries ie I don't sleep about or do one night stands whereas they do and call me ''old fashioned'' to ''loosen up'' and ''enjoy myself'' and that I'm boring ( but I would never engage in that type of behaviour and wouldn't ''enjoy myself'' - I'd just feel used and would get hurt not to mention putting myself at risk of diseases and even getting attacked). I like walking and fell walking and go to gym but not good at any other sport at all. I'd just like to meet friends who like things like going out for nice meals, going to movies, walks and holidays, just don't know.. where to start. I'd like some ideas on things to do. Nice hobbies and find friends, I'm quite good at craft but rubbish at art and I would really dislike things like being on stage - centre of attention - bit shy... I'd really appreciate any ideas or suggestions Link to comment
Hermes Posted August 9, 2015 Share Posted August 9, 2015 Loulou. Surely there are walking clubs/groups, film clubs, book clubs, craft clubs, in or around your area? Speaking of stages.....and maybe you think it would be a challenge (but a good one!), to try a drama club/society. You might find that you love it! Yes! Link to comment
Jvc21 Posted August 9, 2015 Share Posted August 9, 2015 Do you have classes at your gym? Join a couple and meet new people there! Do you like to cook? Join local cooking classes at your community center! I don't believe a person can ever be that boring, you just gotta find those that share the same passion as you. If you are around people, chances are you'll strike up something eventually! Keep at it! Link to comment
Patrick974 Posted August 9, 2015 Share Posted August 9, 2015 Walking club maybe? They are not only for older coots and walking is enjoyable and not exhausting most of the time. Unless you live in the high mountains. Otherwise you can try to meet people the online way through link removed. A place for friends more than for dating. Ps... Seems like Hermes beat me to it. Link to comment
loulou76 Posted August 9, 2015 Author Share Posted August 9, 2015 Aww thanks!! I love music too, listening to rock bands but a lot of my friends are female and only like pop music.. Link to comment
loulou76 Posted August 9, 2015 Author Share Posted August 9, 2015 Think I need to build up my self confidence too Link to comment
Hermes Posted August 9, 2015 Share Posted August 9, 2015 Do you sing, Loulou? You never know..... If you have a voice maybe try something different like voice coaching, singing lessons. Could be great fun. Choral groups are also always looking for voices. Link to comment
Jvc21 Posted August 9, 2015 Share Posted August 9, 2015 Think I need to build up my self confidence too I think it's just fine! Of course, we can always improve it. You're doing all cool things! (Just love it, and everything else will follow!) Link to comment
Patrick974 Posted August 9, 2015 Share Posted August 9, 2015 Aww thanks!! I love music too, listening to rock bands but a lot of my friends are female and only like pop music.. People meet at festivals too. Link to comment
Hollyj Posted August 9, 2015 Share Posted August 9, 2015 I made a lot of great friends through volunteering. Link to comment
journeynow Posted August 9, 2015 Share Posted August 9, 2015 If you like music, see if there is a local arts organization that oversees local events and performances that you could volunteer with. (Such as ushering for events, you get in free, and meet like minded people. )Over time you may get to know others involved, get together for dinner as a group or friends after, invite someone for walk. I've found it takes much longer as an adult to find and make friends, especially at the age others are focused on children. Signing up for classes, volunteering, etc, repeatedly has allowed me to connect with individuals whose paths kept crossing mine, and we've gone on to pursue new interests together on a regular bases. What about joining a local outing club for hikes, perhaps kayaking, camping? I don't know where you are, but look around for groups like established mountain clubs, hiking clubs, outing clubs that schedule get togethers and trips in advance. Perhaps stop into a local camping supply store to find out if they have suggestions. Link to comment
tallydoo Posted August 9, 2015 Share Posted August 9, 2015 I like journeynow's suggestion for an outing club if you like walking! Kayaking and camping are also great ways to get to know people--outing stores often have interest groups meeting at the store, or you can take some of the classes there if they offer them. Do you live in an apartment complex or a neighborhood? Is there a book club happening there, or could you start one? I'm also a big fan of social dancing (I'm a swing dancer, but there's also salsa and tango clubs out there)--it's an awesome way to meet people, and you can usually get people together for dinner before the week's dance or drinks afterwards. Link to comment
RainyCoast Posted August 9, 2015 Share Posted August 9, 2015 actually, i would google all kinds of communities, clubs and groups in your area and spy their event calendars. then pick out a few, even if they're not in a field that you're very interested in- go to a few events just to get out and meet people. if you decide some of the events/groups are not really what you like you've still met people and exchanged numbers and you could still meet up in different settings. if you like crafts maybe keep an eye out for eco communities and any interesting upcycling projects- they usually have high attendance so you'll likely find quite a few people you click with there. if you'd prefer to get out of the town occasionally they also usually run weekend workshops in rural settings- anything from permaculture, building mud houses, to foraging for edible weeds. maybe it's not everyone's cup of tea but it's outdoors, you're active, the learned skills are actually pretty cool and again, high attendance so you'd surely click with someone. oh, check to see if there are free movie nights in the artsy parts of the town. in my town they gather a very colorful bunch of people from all age groups and walks of life. p.s. do you have those swap events where you exchange your old junk for someone else's? Link to comment
rustysim Posted August 10, 2015 Share Posted August 10, 2015 A new language is a good way to meet people. You can go to classes, try speaking in groups, watch foreign films together, ethnic restaurants etc. The local high school or community center should have information about groups/classes I feel a similar way. My life is pretty much gym and work Link to comment
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