TheAbandoned Posted October 5, 2015 Author Share Posted October 5, 2015 Update: I had been going to a church here in town. The problem was that the other guy's parents go there as well. I figured being around them wasn't helping my healing, so I started going to another church 2 weeks ago. Good thing I did...guess who I saw leaving the church I used to go to today? Yep...the same woman who said she didn't like church because she wasn't "churchy". Apparently her and the other guy have now moved BACK to my town. I wish they would both just piss off. I've been feeling pretty good and seeing them put me in a fit of rage. I took that anger to the gym though and had one hell of a workout. I'm so tired of this crap getting shoved in my face. How would they have known I didn't go there anymore? The uncaring disrespect is astounding to me. I know I shouldn't take it personally but it's really hard not to. Link to comment
TheAbandoned Posted October 8, 2015 Author Share Posted October 8, 2015 Today has been a bit better. I've been having a few more sad and lonely moments than usual lately, but I combat them by reminding myself that she's an immature, uncaring person and think about something (anything) else. I know I deserve better and I intend to find it. Someday. In the meantime I just plod on a day at a time. Link to comment
TheAbandoned Posted October 23, 2015 Author Share Posted October 23, 2015 I think I'm going to take a break from posting on here. I don't think anyone is reading this anymore anyway, and being on here isn't helping me. I see my ex's car in town once in a while...I don't break down like I used to, but I still get a bit depressed. I don't know anything about what's going on with her and I don't want to. I am fully immersed in the hate stage right now. I have been pretty depressed lately but I hide it well...not just about my ex, but about being a 45 year old man without a decent job, no prospects for a better one at the moment and no prospects for a new relationship either. I have friends, but no really close ones. I still work out religiously every week and have been making gains there, but otherwise I just feel like a total loser most of the time. I just hope I can turn things around soon. Good luck to everybody on here. You all deserve all the happiness you can find. Link to comment
Silverbirch Posted October 23, 2015 Share Posted October 23, 2015 I'm sorry OP, I only just saw your thread. Listen, 45 is young and you have heaps of time ahead of you. Most of us who are here had something similar happen - or we were in emotional pain from relationships. I'm single by choice, and very happy about that these days. Please hang in there, and I hope you come back. You should post in the journal section. That has helped me a lot. Link to comment
TheAbandoned Posted October 24, 2015 Author Share Posted October 24, 2015 Thanks for replying, Silverbirch. I've been going through a lot of depression lately and I'm not sure why. Nothing is different; I just get overwhelmed sometimes by everything going on...the ex stuff, my employment situation, family stuff, etc. I've always been a bit of a loner and find it hard to meet new people (especially women). I just hope this bout of hopelessness goes away. I'd been doing so well... Link to comment
fwdthinker Posted October 24, 2015 Share Posted October 24, 2015 How are you doing today? Link to comment
TheAbandoned Posted October 24, 2015 Author Share Posted October 24, 2015 Eh, comes and goes. I try to keep busy. The alone times at home are the worst. I just don't get why it's suddenly crashing down like this... Link to comment
catsonova Posted October 24, 2015 Share Posted October 24, 2015 How have you been doing lately? It was interesting to read your updates because we've all been through that, the ups and downs, the emotions bubbling up at random times. Hope you're good. Link to comment
TheAbandoned Posted October 24, 2015 Author Share Posted October 24, 2015 I'm...living, I guess. I have good moments and bad, mostly bad the last couple of days. All I can do is plow through them. I know these emotions will go away. It just feels like I have a lot on my plate lately. Thanks guys for asking though. It's nice to know people care enough to ask. Link to comment
Silverbirch Posted October 24, 2015 Share Posted October 24, 2015 Yes, we do care, and I really hope you will seriously consider posting in the journal section. It's going to take time, and of course the job situation would be stressful for you. I took the liberty of looking at some of your other posts and saw that you had been enjoying working in the hospitality industry in fairly recent times. I'm sorry that wasn't permanent, but there are bound to be other jobs. Onward and upward. Link to comment
sky09 Posted October 25, 2015 Share Posted October 25, 2015 OP, as far as your employment goes, can you not move to a bigger city/town? I'm sure okc has more opportunities for you, if you want to stay in OK. I know you have a house there, but you can rent it out or even sell it. Don't get lost in your assumed hopelessness. You *can* do it Link to comment
TheAbandoned Posted October 25, 2015 Author Share Posted October 25, 2015 It's possible; I've definitely considered it. I like my house though, and I hate the idea of her driving me to leave here. I don't know...I'm going to stick it out and see how it goes I think. I do think I'd have better opportunities in OKC as you said though. Link to comment
jennylove Posted October 25, 2015 Share Posted October 25, 2015 So is she really pregnant or not? This thread has gotten too long! Link to comment
jennylove Posted October 26, 2015 Share Posted October 26, 2015 Ahh, I suspected as much. It's ok, OP, it's ok. Link to comment
TheAbandoned Posted October 27, 2015 Author Share Posted October 27, 2015 I know Jenny, I know. I've been better the last couple of days but I still think of her constantly. I want nothing to do with her...anyone who leaps into another relationship after 5 years and immediately gets pregnant is a train wreck I want to avoid like the plague. Just can't seem to get my heart and my mind on the same page, but I'll get there. Link to comment
jennylove Posted October 27, 2015 Share Posted October 27, 2015 Yep, cut her off and don't look back. Don't get curious enough to stalk her on fb or anything in a few months either. Let it go. Remember, ppl come into our lives to teach us lessons. They may leave our life before we are ready, but there is a quote that I find comforting in regards to that: "Gods dismissal of your desires is not a denial of your desire" -in other words, put on your seatbelt and get ready for the bigger and better thing that the man ^ has planned for your life. It will allll make sense to you someday. In the mean time, learn your lessons that this girl taught you. What did you learn about yourself while in this rship? Can you change anything about yourself in your next rship? What were the red flags with her? What things did you tolerate for too long and why? Link to comment
TheAbandoned Posted October 27, 2015 Author Share Posted October 27, 2015 Yep, cut her off and don't look back. Don't get curious enough to stalk her on fb or anything in a few months either. Let it go. Remember, ppl come into our lives to teach us lessons. They may leave our life before we are ready, but there is a quote that I find comforting in regards to that: "Gods dismissal of your desires is not a denial of your desire" -in other words, put on your seatbelt and get ready for the bigger and better thing that the man ^ has planned for your life. It will allll make sense to you someday. In the mean time, learn your lessons that this girl taught you. What did you learn about yourself while in this rship? Can you change anything about yourself in your next rship? What were the red flags with her? What things did you tolerate for too long and why? Yep, I've been doing that. Her family and most of our mutual friends have been blocked and I try to avoid places she goes to. The main thing I've realized from this is that I go too far to make my partner happy and don't do enough for myself. That's not going to happen again...if they can't be happy with me then it's not going to work. Doormat no more you might say. I put up with a lot of crap that really drove my self-esteem down. I'm also going to watch more closely for red flags...I didn't do that before. Thanks for your encouraging words. Link to comment
TheAbandoned Posted October 29, 2015 Author Share Posted October 29, 2015 Ok, changed my mind about not posting... ;-) I've had friends who I hadn't seen in a while come up to me and tell me how great I look since I've been working out religiously since the breakup...I've lost a lot of weight (over 50 lbs) and am in the best shape I've ever been in. Them saying that makes me feel a bit better about myself. I also have a job interview lined up next week...Nothing exciting, but I don't mind steady hard work. My son also came down yesterday and stayed with me. We worked out together and for the most part I kept up or passed him in lifting (and he played football for 6 years). Mentally, I've been in a better place lately. However, I attribute a lot of that to not seeing her. I shudder to think how I'm going to feel when I see her in her pregnant state (and I know it'll happen eventually). If I can I'm going to ignore her...if not, I'll say hello and then that I have to go. I do not want to talk to her at all. I just don't want her to have this power over me anymore. It's ridiculous and counter-productive. Link to comment
jennylove Posted October 29, 2015 Share Posted October 29, 2015 Why do you think you will see her during her pregnancy? Link to comment
TheAbandoned Posted October 29, 2015 Author Share Posted October 29, 2015 She moved back to my town recently...my small town. I say it's inevitable that I'll see her because there's only a few stores here, one gas station, etc. So far I've been lucky but knowing how my luck goes that won't last. I'm just hoping that if I do see her it's an avoidable situation. I have no urge to have contact with her at all. Link to comment
jennylove Posted October 29, 2015 Share Posted October 29, 2015 Ok, I see. Well if possible, trek over to the next town for food, fuel and groceries. The next town over cannot be too far, besides, I think the drive will do you good. If you ever run into her, I hope it's when you've reached indifference, look dapper and can tell her your in town visiting family but your heading back to (cool city) tonight. Link to comment
TheAbandoned Posted October 29, 2015 Author Share Posted October 29, 2015 Lol yeah, that would be nice. The closest town is over 20 minutes away and I go there all the time. Unfortunately so does she. Like I said, I know my luck. Like you said though maybe I'll be indifferent by then. I hope so. Link to comment
TheAbandoned Posted November 3, 2015 Author Share Posted November 3, 2015 I found out today they got married 2 weeks ago. I knew this was coming but it still feels like I'm watching a crazy movie...or a train wreck. Either way...Onward and Upward! Link to comment
TMifune Posted November 3, 2015 Share Posted November 3, 2015 I found out today they got married 2 weeks ago. I knew this was coming but it still feels like I'm watching a crazy movie...or a train wreck. Either way...Onward and Upward! Good for you. Don't dwell on it too much. Other people's stupid choices aren't your problem or any kind of reflection on you! Link to comment
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