So...I hear she might be pregnant...

[TheAbandoned]

I hear what you're saying. She seems happy enough about it if it was an accident. The guy she's with is bi-polar, OCD and takes meds for depression. I know from hearing about previous relationship partners he's had that he's very clingy...I've always wondered if this was planned on his part.

 

I'm not trying to judge (it's hard though), just trying to understand so I can be on the lookout for behavior like this in the future.

 

And you're right about focusing on her. It's hard to not do that but I am trying. I just come on here sometimes when random thoughts pop up to get them out and move on with my day.

 

Thanks for being there.

 

P.S.: She's 26...would the bio clock kick in that hard that early in life?

[mhowe]

Who knows? My bio clock never ticked. But if her gf's are having babies, maybe.

 

See----again, focused on her. He can't plan a pregnancy ---- she could have. Or it could have been a BC fail. Regardless, NOT YOUR CONCERN>

[TheAbandoned]

I agree, not my concern...but again, I'm just trying to understand. Putting my thoughts down as they come I guess.

[mhowe]

Sometimes it is better to accept that understanding someone else's action and motives is NEVER going to happen and an exercise in futility.

[TheAbandoned]

Very true. Thank you.

[TheAbandoned]

I haven't posted much on here lately so I'd give a bit of an update...

 

Not much to update I guess. I've been working out (best shape I've been in years), hanging out with friends and I started a new job last week...possibly temporary, but I really enjoy it (prep cook at an upscale restaurant). I have had a bit of family drama recently which has been hard to deal with but I'm dealing.

 

I do find my thoughts drifting to her quite a bit, but it's occurring less and less. I did have an aunt say something along the lines of "I've seen the stuff she posts on Facebook. You can do MUCH better than her." I didn't ask what she posted. I don't really care what she's doing and I'm good with that. Side note: I just realized today it's been over a month since I shed any tears over this, so yay! Progress.

[TheAbandoned]

Not much of an update, but here goes...

 

I've been working my new job and I enjoy it. It gets pretty busy at times, which is good because it keeps my mind occupied.

 

The only setback I've had was last week I went for a haircut. The guy who cuts my hair used to cut hers as well (he said he hasn't heard from her in a while). As soon as I sat down, he told me she posted the ultrasound pictures on FB. I told him I wouldn't know; I don't have her on my FB. He apologized profusely and said he didn't know why he told me that and he felt horrible about it. I told him don't worry about it and changed the subject. It still hurts a bit how quickly she's moved on but I force myself to think of other things when she drifts into my mind. I'm seriously considering selling my house and moving to Oklahoma City anyway. The opportunities are better there, and other than my parents I have nothing else to keep me here.

[TheAbandoned]

Addendum:

 

I was digging through some drawers and found a love note she had written to me early in the relationship about how I was the man of her dreams, her soul mate (god, I hate that word) and how she couldn't wait to spend the rest of her life with me. What did I do?

 

I threw that sh*t in the trash and went about my day.

[rngrl12]

Addendum:

 

I was digging through some drawers and found a love note she had written to me early in the relationship about how I was the man of her dreams, her soul mate (god, I hate that word) and how she couldn't wait to spend the rest of her life with me. What did I do?

 

I threw that sh*t in the trash and went about my day.

 

Good for you! I'm sure it has to suck I can't imagine how I'd feel if my ex got a girl pregnant. Thankfully I wouldn't know about it here really soon because we'll be living so far away from each other... here's to hoping it doesn't happen in the next 3 months so I don't have to know about it. It must suck but I'm sure it has helped you close the door completely.

[fitgirl]

If it's any consolation, she's in for the biggest shock of her life when that baby gets here. The pregnancy is fun and filled with thoughts of nurseries and sweet walks in the park with the new baby. The reality is that she's going to be exhausted, clueless, covered in crap and puke, with sore nipples, to boot. It's a very challenging experience and she will be sorry that her partner is someone who she has spent such a short amount of time with.

 

My daughter was planned, and I had been in a relationship and married for 5 years. It was the hardest thing I've ever done. It was a huge shock and the relationship with my ex husband went in the dumper because we were incredibly ill prepared. I'm not saying that will happen with your ex, but it's not all sunshine and roses to bring a child into the world!

[TheAbandoned]

Yep, I've experienced this before from the man's side of things. Late night doctors visits, 3am feedings, the whole gamut. In the end it's rewarding (I wouldn't give up my son for ANYTHING) but it is a long rough road.

[fitgirl]

I am absolutely in love with my almost 5 year old daughter! I'm lucky that my ex husband is an amazing dad and we split custody 50/50. I would be heartbroken if I had a child with someone who was not as devoted to her.

 

Still, I do feel for you and I know this is tough. She's probably not thinking clearly and it truly has not set in for her. I know the first 3 months of a relationship are really good, and then problems start to come up. This might be the case for her. Luckily, you're no longer a part of that!

[Kazuya]

3~4 years ago, I was here about my ex-gf of 8+ years who strung me on for somewhere around 2 years before finally finding out that she was months pregnant and married to someone she swore not possible to get attracted to (as the guy is already married and just had an infant) - via facebook stalking. Man, that sinking feeling when those were found out. I couldn't concentrate on work for weeks and food basically tasted like distilled water. I can conclude lots of things after some digging works but those newfound knowledge are used to reinforce myself to move on finally - though it hurts like hell in the process but eventually now here I am, writing my experiences to you with no more ache in my heart. If that was 3 years ago I would be still laying on bed and stay on as a whiner.

 

Addendum:

 

I was digging through some drawers and found a love note she had written to me early in the relationship about how I was the man of her dreams, her soul mate (god, I hate that word) and how she couldn't wait to spend the rest of her life with me. What did I do?

 

I threw that sh*t in the trash and went about my day.

 

I still keep those love notes that she wrote for me. Something like I am hers forever yada yada yada. I did not toss it as it held some sentimental value - something that felt pure until she changed. Now in case I do have the time to read that, there are little bittersweet feelings - due to the innocence, but when I look at her pictures I don't feel the ache or sorrow or longing whatever we call it when we are in love. Its like looking at a stranger.

 

I somehow wonder if I should keep those for memories sake in case I got older and have lots of time to reminisce before I die - but worry that would cause misunderstanding to my current lover, whom I might marry someday down the line soon.

[TheAbandoned]

I still keep those love notes that she wrote for me. Something like I am hers forever yada yada yada. I did not toss it as it held some sentimental value - something that felt pure until she changed. Now in case I do have the time to read that, there are little bittersweet feelings - due to the innocence, but when I look at her pictures I don't feel the ache or sorrow or longing whatever we call it when we are in love. Its like looking at a stranger.

 

I somehow wonder if I should keep those for memories sake in case I got older and have lots of time to reminisce before I die - but worry that would cause misunderstanding to my current lover, whom I might marry someday down the line soon.

 

The main reason I threw the note in the trash was the simple fact that keeping the note did nothing to help my healing. Every time I find something of hers I get a twinge in my stomach...it's not worth it to me to keep reminders of her around. Maybe someday I'll regret getting rid of the stuff but I doubt it. Her actions have made any sentiments she had given me ring hollow. And I know she definitely doesn't give a sh*t about me now. My goal is to reach that level. I know I'm not there yet; hell, I still come on here every day! But I am getting better day by day.

[sky09]

Be glad it's not yours... we'll see how long that baby daddy sticks around...

[TheAbandoned]

Be glad it's not yours... we'll see how long that baby daddy sticks around...

 

LOL Too true.

[Kazuya]

The main reason I threw the note in the trash was the simple fact that keeping the note did nothing to help my healing. Every time I find something of hers I get a twinge in my stomach...it's not worth it to me to keep reminders of her around. Maybe someday I'll regret getting rid of the stuff but I doubt it. Her actions have made any sentiments she had given me ring hollow. And I know she definitely doesn't give a sh*t about me now. My goal is to reach that level. I know I'm not there yet; hell, I still come on here every day! But I am getting better day by day.

Yea you will definitely get better. I had doubts too at first but now I am happy

 

Just for your info I do not know if there are such thing as karma striking back but the last time I heard from a mutual friend - she kept calling and finding whereabouts of her 'husband' as he always come back late at night and would not pick up her calls. Well, I do not know much as those are just hearsay, but since my white knight radar wasn't even tingling I guess I am over her already.

[TheAbandoned]

Yea you will definitely get better. I had doubts too at first but now I am happy

 

Just for your info I do not know if there are such thing as karma striking back but the last time I heard from a mutual friend - she kept calling and finding whereabouts of her 'husband' as he always come back late at night and would not pick up her calls. Well, I do not know much as those are just hearsay, but since my white knight radar wasn't even tingling I guess I am over her already.

 

I'm not sure how I feel about karmic retribution...it would feel like justice I guess, but I'm probably never going to know about it. I just want to move on with my life at this point.

 

Ah, hell...who am I kidding. I'm human; I'd get some satisfaction out of it.

[fitgirl]

The main reason I threw the note in the trash was the simple fact that keeping the note did nothing to help my healing. Every time I find something of hers I get a twinge in my stomach...it's not worth it to me to keep reminders of her around. Maybe someday I'll regret getting rid of the stuff but I doubt it. Her actions have made any sentiments she had given me ring hollow. And I know she definitely doesn't give a sh*t about me now. My goal is to reach that level. I know I'm not there yet; hell, I still come on here every day! But I am getting better day by day.

 

Yeah, I trashed all said notes. I really don't want to remind myself of false promises and utter rubbish when I'm about to die. I'm going to be looking at my daughter's baby pictures and her's child's pictures and so on!!

[TMifune]

I'm not sure how I feel about karmic retribution...it would feel like justice I guess, but I'm probably never going to know about it. I just want to move on with my life at this point.

 

Ah, hell...who am I kidding. I'm human; I'd get some satisfaction out of it.

 

I like to root against my ex's favorite football team. She once threw something at my TV because they were losing. I know it's a little petty, but at the same time a sports team winning or losing should be so inconsequential to someone's overall happiness that I really don't feel bad about it.

[Live-N-Learn]

In some ways she has given you a gift. Most ppl don't get this level of closure so early after a breakup. I seriously doubt this was a planned pregnancy. Wait until the baby is born and finances become part of the equation along with shared responsibility for raising the child. This will put a huge strain on this new relationship. This may turn into her biggest nightmare.

[TheAbandoned]

I like to root against my ex's favorite football team. She once threw something at my TV because they were losing. I know it's a little petty, but at the same time a sports team winning or losing should be so inconsequential to someone's overall happiness that I really don't feel bad about it.

 

The other guy's favorite baseball team is the St. Louis Cardinals, so it's hers too by extension. Naturally, I hate em. Mine is the Cubs...I got special satisfaction a couple of weeks ago when the Cubs beat the crap out of the Cardinals.

 

Eh, small victories. I'll take em.

[TheAbandoned]

Not too much to post lately...still going through the daily grind I guess. I've had good and bad days, but the good are outnumbering the bad now. Today was kind of crappy, but I think I had a dream with her in it...I don't remember it but this felt like one of those times.

 

On another note, I found a couple of valentine teddy bears I had gotten her in the past. Yep, you guessed it. Right in the trash.

[fitgirl]

Not too much to post lately...still going through the daily grind I guess. I've had good and bad days, but the good are outnumbering the bad now. Today was kind of crappy, but I think I had a dream with her in it...I don't remember it but this felt like one of those times.

 

On another note, I found a couple of valentine teddy bears I had gotten her in the past. Yep, you guessed it. Right in the trash.

 

That's great that you're doing better! I feel like my good days are getting more evident. Last night, I was feeling slightly down, so I was like ok I'll just cry and get it over with. I couldn't even cry! I just started laughing because it was ridiculous that I was trying to make myself cry. The rest of my night was great.

 

Keep on doing awesome work for yourself!!

[TheAbandoned]

That's great that you're doing better! I feel like my good days are getting more evident. Last night, I was feeling slightly down, so I was like ok I'll just cry and get it over with. I couldn't even cry! I just started laughing because it was ridiculous that I was trying to make myself cry. The rest of my night was great.

 

Keep on doing awesome work for yourself!!

 

Thanks, fitgirl! I do get lonely moments now and then but I just force myself past them. I know they don't last too long which helps.

 

I think the last time I felt really bad about things was a little over a month ago. I decided to cry and let it out, and like you I realized I was all cried out. Haven't shed a tear over this since.