El3216 Posted July 12, 2015 Share Posted July 12, 2015 Quick back story: I'm 27 she's 25 I've been with my girlfriend for 7 months. Things have been pretty good.. No fights pretty smooth. Probably the best relationship I've ever been in. 2 weeks ago she gets a message from her ex ( from 3 years ago) . She tells me that she can't stand him and I have nothing to worry about. Well.. He texts her about everyday now and I can always see it pop up on her phone. We've discussed this 2-3 times since and she always assures me that she loves me and that she thinks he's a joke. Fast forward to last night: we're together at a party and I have her phone in my pocket since she has no pockets. I went to the bathroom and the phone was burning a hole in my pocket! So I look. I find that she initiates a conversation about getting weed from him. He says okay and they plan for her to come pick it up. That happened before I arrived to the party. I then realize she texted me 10 mins after her last text to him telling me I don't have to come if I don't want to.. She didn't end up meeting him because I showed up. Now I don't know what to Next. Is breaking up the only option? Clearly she's okay with lying to me. Link to comment
Ms Darcy Posted July 12, 2015 Share Posted July 12, 2015 Yeah, I would break up. Lying so soon about exes is a huge red flag. Link to comment
force Posted July 12, 2015 Share Posted July 12, 2015 Well I probably wouldn't overreact to this too much. She left you with her phone and if she had something serious to hide she wouldn't have left her phone with you. Could meeting up with him cause her to cheat, very possibly yes. Should you still trust her as of now, yes probably. Doesn't sound like she lied to you about anything, she's just going to pick up weed from him. I'm pretty sure she would've thought you would freak out if she told you she was leaving to go get something from her ex, that's why she didn't go. I wouldn't break up over this, just my 2 cents. Link to comment
El3216 Posted July 12, 2015 Author Share Posted July 12, 2015 Well I probably wouldn't overreact to this too much. She left you with her phone and if she had something serious to hide she wouldn't have left her phone with you. Could meeting up with him cause her to cheat, very possibly yes. Should you still trust her as of now, yes probably. Doesn't sound like she lied to you about anything, she's just going to pick up weed from him. I'm pretty sure she would've thought you would freak out if she told you she was leaving to go get something from her ex, that's why she didn't go. I wouldn't break up over this, just my 2 cents. I appreciate the advice. I don't believe she's cheating on me in anyway. My issue is the fact that she doesn't need him for weed.. And she should know how much I would have an issue with her meeting up with him. Especially after we had a discussion about him texting he a couple days ago. Link to comment
JA0371 Posted July 12, 2015 Share Posted July 12, 2015 It comes down to your boundaries...and if you trust her. If it were me, I would be very upset...namely because I despise any kind of drugs..including weed. In addition...she lied about her feelings toward him. No one converses with someone they consider a loser. She is using both of you. Link to comment
El3216 Posted July 12, 2015 Author Share Posted July 12, 2015 It comes down to your boundaries...and if you trust her. If it were me, I would be very upset...namely because I despise any kind of drugs..including weed. In addition...she lied about her feelings toward him. No one converses with someone they consider a loser. She is using both of you. Yeah that's how I feel. I respect your stance on drugs and weed. We usually smoke before bed. We don't need him to get it in anyway. That's what bothers me the most. If I hadn't seen his messages we would be in what seemed to be a perfect relationship. Link to comment
j.man Posted July 12, 2015 Share Posted July 12, 2015 While I'm not a fan of lying, if you snooped on her phone and the worst you dug up was her trying to buy weed off him, I'd be relieved if I were in your shoes. Maybe he gives her a good price, maybe the quality is good, or it could simply be that she trusts him. I don't know why she keeps him as a dealer. But it's up to you. There's no right or wrong here. Different people have different thresholds for lying. Good luck with everything. Link to comment
El3216 Posted July 13, 2015 Author Share Posted July 13, 2015 I came clean to her on what I did. I apologized and explained that I couldn't right the urge based on the previous few interactions about him. I think we came to a decent understanding about everything. Let's see where we go from here. Link to comment
WithLove Posted July 13, 2015 Share Posted July 13, 2015 Good luck to you. Thanks for the update. I think you could have found way worse than you did. It's important to discuss boundaries. And she can definitely block him from contacting her, especially if she "thinks he's a joke". Link to comment
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