sole Posted January 30, 2005 Share Posted January 30, 2005 I asked a guy out for a date. He didn't say yes or no. As soon as I left the cafe he told his friends he doesn't want to go out with me. I found that out from one of my friends who works in the cafe. So I've been rejected. I'm angry and hurt! I HATE MEN! I don't have ANY self-esteem now. I feel worthless. Now what? Link to comment
cooldude1234 Posted January 30, 2005 Share Posted January 30, 2005 hey! You aren't worthless. He didn't want to date you, oh well. He's missing out! You're better off without him anyways. Not all men are bad guys, find someone who's worth your time. Don't let this get you down. This kind of thing happens, just blow it off. I'm sure you're a great person, stay positive! Link to comment
sole Posted January 30, 2005 Author Share Posted January 30, 2005 I know I have a good personality and I'm not ugly because I catch guys checking me out. I've had more rejections than acceptions. But now I can't take any more rejections! Link to comment
rusty_boi Posted January 30, 2005 Share Posted January 30, 2005 well think of it like this if he said yes then youd be more hurt because the realtionship would mean the world to you but nothing to him because he doesnt like you as much as you like him. so i know it hurts now but think of how it culd be and also are you chasing the wrong type of guy? mayb rethink stargeties aswell Link to comment
asmodai Posted January 30, 2005 Share Posted January 30, 2005 Maybe you should expand your horizons (I'm not saying lower your standards at all) but do you find yourself going for the same 'types' of guys? Link to comment
DragonGirl724 Posted January 30, 2005 Share Posted January 30, 2005 I asked a guy out for a date. He didn't say yes or no. As soon as I left the cafe he told his friends he doesn't want to go out with me. I found that out from one of my friends who works in the cafe. So I've been rejected. I'm angry and hurt! I HATE MEN! I don't have ANY self-esteem now. I feel worthless. Now what? relax, there are going to be times when you are the one not interested either. dont hate men b/c of it. it was his decision, he doesnt mean to hurt you, but you cant hate him for it. thats selfish & completely irrational. im sorry youre upset but dont fall apart b/c one guy didnt want to go out with you. it sounds like there are issues here that may go a little deeper than just trying to win this guy's heart... we dont always get what we want........if we did we'd all be rich & happy. but we're all not..........thats life. as you get older you'll understand that sometimes things dont work out the way you want at the moment but seem to find its own way of working out for you down the line. sometimes not getting 'what you want right now' is a blessing in disguise. who knows who youre going to meet next week...or tommarow, or an hour from now. dont let this guy shatter your self esteem. there are going to be plenty of times in life where youre going to be heartbroken & times when youre going to be the heartbreaker.... -DG724 Link to comment
Outlaw2747 Posted January 30, 2005 Share Posted January 30, 2005 I myself have been rejected more than accepted. And even though I am quite bitter about it, I also know there must be some sort of accepting female out there. Same thing with you. Not everyone you like is going to like you back. Just drive on, and do not worry, I fought long and hard to tell myself that and I still have my doubts but I continue on with my life and let other people do their thing. How old are you anyways? Link to comment
MetalJoe Posted January 30, 2005 Share Posted January 30, 2005 I've been turned down pretty much every time I've asked someone out but I don't hate women because of it. It's their loss so put it out of your mind and try again. We all face the possibility of rejection whenever we ask someone out and if we all gave up as soon as it happens, we'd all end up very lonely indeed. Link to comment
annie24 Posted January 30, 2005 Share Posted January 30, 2005 Like everyone else said, don't beat yourself up about it. Some girls like preppy guys, some girls like skater guys. Some guys like tall, sophisticated blondes, some guys like down-to-earth petite brunettes. It's just the way it is. Even if you do have a sparkling personality and a great smile, if you're not his type, there's nothing you can do. Don't waste your precious mind and heart worrying over it. Link to comment
DN Posted January 30, 2005 Share Posted January 30, 2005 make that unanimous. Think of the odds: there a six billion people in the world and just under half of them men. Chances are there's a good many of them would jump at the chance to go out with you. Just keep plugging away. And the men you hate have had to go through this for, well I forget exactly, I think it's something like: forever. Link to comment
Mysterious Gurl Posted January 30, 2005 Share Posted January 30, 2005 whoa! your not worthless. Besides it's his loss! Anyway maybe you should confront him yourself. Just pass comment. It might be a rumor. But your not worthless! No-one is. I know it's hard to believe right now but not all men are users. I'm sorry you feel hurt Miya Link to comment
SilverManic Posted January 30, 2005 Share Posted January 30, 2005 I know getting rejected hurts, especially when it happens a lot. But hey these things happen. Try being happy being on your own, have fun, spend time with your friends, take care of you. Trust me the moment you stop looking someone will come along and make you feel like all those rejections are worthless. But you are most certainly not. So start taking care of your emotions and I'm sure you will be happy. ~S. Link to comment
sole Posted January 30, 2005 Author Share Posted January 30, 2005 Rusty boi and Asmodai- I don't choose the same type of guys over and over. They're all so different that they can't be compared to each other. I lowered my standards a few times. But I still get rejected. DragonGirl- I didn't fall apart because ONE guy rejected me. I'm angry because MANY rejected me. I didn't hate guys when the first 6 guys rejected me or whenn no one asked me out. I just picked myself up and kept going with no problems. But now I feel like ](*,) Outlaw- I'm in my mid-20's. It's easy to stay hopeful when you're younger. I was hopeful just a couple of years ago but not anymore. MetalJoe- I didn't give up everytime it happened. Not until some of these guys started choosing my friends or aquaintances over me. All of my friends tell me I'm pretty, have a great personality, and smart but guys still reject me. Mysterious Gurl- I know not all men are users. I can't say I hate ALL men because I've met some great guys. But they were taken or they didn't want to be in a relationship at that moment. And these guys never stay single long. I always stay really positive, but it starts to get impossible when nothing happens in the relationship department except for constant rejection. I don't have deep issues. I'm just upset about it. Link to comment
annie24 Posted January 30, 2005 Share Posted January 30, 2005 I didn't fall apart because ONE guy rejected me. I'm angry because MANY rejected me. I didn't hate guys when the first 6 guys rejected me. I just picked myself up and kept going with no problems. But now I feel like Alrightly sole - Maybe you should try a different approach.... I just wanna help you out. Could you stand to lose some weight and get in shape? Do you have acne? Do you need braces? If you wear glasses, get some contacts. Get some cute, fashionable clothes. Grow your hair long. Do your nails. I'm not really trying to be shallow, but you want to present yourself as confident creature who takes good care of herself. Try not asking guys out for a while. Asking guys out works for some girls, but it doesn't work for me. Ok, before everyone starts bashing me, I'm just saying that I have MUCH better luck in the love department when I let the guy ask me out. Why don't you just lay off asking out guys for a while and let them come to you? Be mysterious and cool. Go places where there's lots of men. Take golf lessons. Go jogging in the park. Go to parties. They'll notice you. But, don't let the focus be "find a bf or find a date!" Just live in the moment and enjoy it. Have fun with your friends, have fun playing tennis or whatever. Good luck! The right one will find you when it's time! Link to comment
Andy223 Posted January 30, 2005 Share Posted January 30, 2005 btw its not "I have been rejected", its "I have been regged" start using that word, it softens the blow a bit i think Link to comment
sole Posted January 30, 2005 Author Share Posted January 30, 2005 I go to the hair salon regularly. I dress really well because people always tell me they like something I'm wearing. I'm fit because I get comments about that too. I've never had problems with acne. I have nice teeth (I get comments about them too.) I have great hygeine. When I don't ask guys out, the only guys who like me are the ones with girlfriends. Both sexes have posted that it's okay to ask guys out. I believed this because guys at parties would flirt or stare at me but they wouldn't make a move. So maybe they were shy. Wrong. If they were into me they would've asked for my number. Maybe I need a long break from the opposite sex. I don't need bf's and guy friends. I can survive without them. And I'll take Andy's advice and rename rejection. Link to comment
annie24 Posted January 30, 2005 Share Posted January 30, 2005 What about online dating? Post a cute photo and a nice profile, and see what happens? I've done it, lots of my friends have done it. I've gone on lots of dates, but I didn't meet any guy that wound up being crazy about. I've given up on dating for a while - I just wanna focus on school and my hobbies for a while. But, one of my good friends went on link removed and she's been with this really great guy for several months now. She says that they're a great pair. Link to comment
annie24 Posted January 30, 2005 Share Posted January 30, 2005 PS - I don't know quite how it works, but if you say to yourself, "The only guys who like me are married or have gfs or are jerks," then the only guys who'll be drawn to you are unavailable or are jerks. If you say to yourself, "I'm an awesome chick, and hot, nice men are attracted to me," then that's what you'll get. I've seen this time and again with me and all my friends. I think it's some kind of subconsious vibe people put out. Link to comment
annie24 Posted January 30, 2005 Share Posted January 30, 2005 Another thing - I have a friend, I'll call her Laura. She's cute, has a nice body, she's smart and funny, but she's not the most gorgeous or most intelligent woman in the world. What she has is this amazing confidence. She has the kind of confidence that makes men like Ross Perot run for president. When she walks into a room, she knows it's all eyes on her. She knows that every guy wants her, and she gets to take her pick. She never asks guys out, because honestly, they always beat her to the punch! wherever she goes, men just flock to her and throw their business cards at her. It's the vibe that she puts out - it works. Link to comment
DN Posted January 30, 2005 Share Posted January 30, 2005 one of the most attractive things that both men and women can do is smile. Not some forced grimace as if you are selling advertisements on your teeth but a genuine, friendly smile - one that reaches your eyes. It radiates confidence, friendliness, approachability and, in the right circumstances, a sexiness without being sleazy. Link to comment
Caldus Posted January 30, 2005 Share Posted January 30, 2005 I'm going to take a guess that maybe it's the way you're approaching these guys. How do you do this exactly? Do you smile, etc.? Be honest. Link to comment
Outlaw2747 Posted January 30, 2005 Share Posted January 30, 2005 Be confident but don't become arrogant. Some of us guys are intimidated by that. I know I am. If a girl just seems to be doing her thing and not all stuck up, I see her as somewhat approachable. You can be confident but a sweetheart at the same time. It takes practice I guess. Link to comment
sole Posted January 30, 2005 Author Share Posted January 30, 2005 I do need to change my attitude and give out a vibe of confidence. I'm a little confident. But complete confidence will show through more (just a guess?). Now I will tell myself when I go out that I'm an awesome person who will attract awesome people. I hope this works. I was very confident as a kid but it faded as I got older. Middle school can do that to a person. But maybe I need to bring that confidence out again. Caldus- I approach these guys very casually. If I'm at a party I will walk up to them (usually a guy I've met before), start a little small talk, find out a little about them, then very casually ask them out (not for dinner but just to get together). And I smile with a genuine smile. WOuld any of you truly consider that asking someone out for a date? I think it comes off sounding very casual. I'll try improving my confidence, but I will still take a long break from guys. If a guy (without a girlfriend because I will no longer attract taken guys) approaches me, then he approaches me. If one never does, then I'm taking a break anyway so I shouldn't let it bother me. Link to comment
wlfpack81 Posted January 30, 2005 Share Posted January 30, 2005 I asked a guy out for a date. He didn't say yes or no. As soon as I left the cafe he told his friends he doesn't want to go out with me. I found that out from one of my friends who works in the cafe. So I've been rejected. I'm angry and hurt! I HATE MEN! I don't have ANY self-esteem now. I feel worthless. Now what? WELCOME TO THE WORLD OF WHAT GUYS GO THROUGH ALL THE TIME SINCE WE'RE NORMALLY THE ONES WHO HAVE TO DO THE ASKING. Sorry to come down on it but maybe now in the future you can have a greater appreciation for what dudes go through. Especially the countless shy guys on this board as well. Sorry not to sugar coat it or lift your spirits but I don't waste time in BSing on this board. Link to comment
cooldude1234 Posted January 30, 2005 Share Posted January 30, 2005 Maybe you should befriend the guys more before you ask them out? Link to comment
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