benign tumour in my brain

[Blue_Skirt]

Take your time to recover! I hope you haven’t run out of soup yet.

[sara-pezzini]

Funny i just had soup haha

Yes i will absolutely take the time! Everyone told me so and i don't want to and am not going to overdo it

[Seraphim]

I am glad you are looking after yourself Sara.

[sara-pezzini]

Am having a sudden unexpected major panic attack atm.am in bed now, am not going to disturb my mom or dad or friends so just write it here.

Not sure what's happening but I'm crying my eyes out suddenly and i am very scared.

I had a reasonably good day, and tonight a colleague came for a quick visit, not too long because that exhausts me and all went well.

So i don't know what's happening now.

Think what may be causing this is i am almost off the bad meds that prevent my brain from swelling and i now notice an increase in headache so i have to call the hospital tomorrow if that's normal. But i think my mind is now scared that my brain is swelling after all. It's a weird headache all around my head and face. So I'm scared.

In panic mode

[WithLove]

If it gets too bad, and the pain is too much, have Mom or Dad take you to the hospital, hun. It's not worth making yourself sick over.

[Seraphim]

It could also be a reaction to coming off the medication Sara. The anxiety and crying I mean. Hang in there!

[sara-pezzini]

Thanks for being there right now!

The pain isn't unbearable or anything but is just suddenly there after days of no headache which is why i freaked out.

But i think you are right vic....

Will call them tomorrow and ask. Maybe it's normal and maybe it means i need to stay on the meds for a bit more.

But the crying took me by surprise cause i haven't cried in a long time

[Seraphim]

Hugs Sara. If it gets too painful or you think you need help don't hold back just call someone to help you.

[sara-pezzini]

Yeah but it's almost midnight here, don't want to freak out everybody else as well, think this is more panic attack than anything else.....

I need sleep but i didn't want to attempt to go to sleep in this state so I'm trying to calm myself down but talking on here.

It helps to just write it down....

[Blue_Skirt]

Sara, try to relax and take a deep breath. I am thinking of you. Call someone if you really need help. Best wishes from Europe to Europe.

[Blue_Skirt]

Crying is good sometimes, at least that's my very personal opinion.

[sara-pezzini]

Thanks, yes I'm trying to relax and breathe deeply, everything always seems worse in the dark!

If i really need help i will call but i think it's slowly passing!

It was a good idea to come on here! Don't want to freak out friends and family for nothing

Europe to Europe haha funny!

[sara-pezzini]

Crying is good sometimes, at least that's my very personal opinion.

Absolutely true, i just hate it haha.but it was so outof the blue that it was weird but i haven't really cried a lot about the whole tumor thing, I've put it away to deal with later so maybe now later is here.....

[Seraphim]

Crying is actually very cleansing , Sara. It helps get rid of body toxins.

[Blue_Skirt]

I've put it away to deal with later so maybe now later is here.....

That could well be, surpressed emotions…… I can be a real crier (is that a correct word?) every now and then and I always let the tears come out. I can hold them up in public, but when I am at home, I just let them run freely.....

[sara-pezzini]

I can cry at will often of cry at a movie or commercial just like that, but this i put away deeply and just sort of went on. Also being depressed for months didn't help, i was in a fog state that I'm now slowly coming out of. So maybe that's it.

But this is just way too much right now for me to deal with since I'm still in the middle of the radiation aftermath.

Will talk to psychologist about this next time because eventually i need to come to terms with it.

This thing isn't going anywhere and i need yearly mri's for the rest of my life so it's going to be part of my life always from now on.

[Blue_Skirt]

This thing isn't going anywhere and i need yearly mri's for the rest of my life so it's going to be part of my life always from now on.

For the moment take it step by step, day by day and don’t worry about tomorrow. Tomorrow is another day. Talking to your psychologist sounds like a good plan. Leave your worries until you can talk to a professional. For the moment you only focus on the today’s, not the future.

[sara-pezzini]

Yes you're right i know! I usually think I'm pretty good at that but this is a whole different thing....tumor in head is still a shock to me. Which is why i went to a psychologist, i realized i can't do it on my own.....

But at least for the moment I've calmed down, the panic subsided and so has the headache, think it was connected the two.

So thank you three for being there and I'm going to try to sleep now!

Thanks again, think i couldn't have don't it alone tonight! So that means a lot....

night!

[Blue_Skirt]

Have a good night sleep Sara, I am going to bed as well.

[journeynow]

Sara, I hope you're sleeping well at this moment, and feel better in the morning.

[Blue_Skirt]

Sara, did you manage to get some good sleep?

[sara-pezzini]

Yes thank you both, i slept well! The headache is gone for the moment so maybe it was all stress and panic, will see how it goes during the morning and see if i want to call the hospital or not....

Since the radiologist is going to call me anyway on Tuesday, if the pain doesn't come back then i will just mention it to him in passing and ask if it was normal or not.

[Blue_Skirt]

Sara, I hope you are well and hope you had a chance to speak with the radiologist.

[sara-pezzini]

Hehe that's a really dumb story! I was waiting all day for him to call me on my landline....but then in the evening he called my cellphone but from a private number and i have those blocked since my ex does that too often. So he got my voicemail and left a message that he hopes all is wel and if there are any issues to call him tomorrow during office hours.

Oops....so have to call him tomorrow and will then also explain that my phone is blocking private numbers.....

 

I am okay, just still very tired and have a headache every day now and want to all him if that's normal after stopping the dexamethasone. Am also dizzy and nauseous which i think has to do with that as well.

 

But all in all I'm making progress! And get lots of attention from my crush so that's a very nice side effect haha

[Blue_Skirt]

Good to hear you are making progress! I did not know you had a crush, but it’s hard to keep up with everyone on here, lol!