rich1 Posted May 16, 2015 Share Posted May 16, 2015 Met a girl a few weeks ago and we really seemed to hit it off. Messaged each other all of the time, seemed to have very similar personalities etc. After our first date she even messaged me asking what I was doing the next day! But I played it cool and put it off for a week. Last weekend we had plans to meet up again, which we did but she was under the weather so it didn't last long. The next morning she invites me to hers and we have a good laugh and end up sleeping togehter. Last night I take her out for dinner, after which she comes back to mine, we watch movies and sleep together - she stays the night. When she gets home this morning its all "we don't have much in common, you're shy and nice - both lovely qualities but just not that I'm looking for" - a bit of a shock, I thought all was going well! I pressed her on it a little and she essentially said that dinner was awkward, that we didn't have much to talk about and that she ended up blabbing on for ages - sorry if I like to listen! It wasn't like there were any awkward silences or anything...she says "thanks for a lovely few weeks Obviously nothing I can say or do, just really annoying! I liked her and we really seemed to be getting on then BAM! Have a nice life haha Link to comment
whitwhit Posted May 16, 2015 Share Posted May 16, 2015 Sounds like she lost interest. Quite normal. Don't take it too hard. Like the last person said. Its her loss, and you may have dodged a bullet. Link to comment
HeartGoesOn Posted May 16, 2015 Share Posted May 16, 2015 To each their own, but you may have had a different outcome if you took the time to know each other, before racing to the finish line. JMO. Link to comment
Sportster2005 Posted May 16, 2015 Share Posted May 16, 2015 She decided this after! she slept with you. Odd, but whatever. People lose interest. It's just one of those facts of life. It always seems to come as a surprise, but that's the way it is. Link to comment
ParisPaulette Posted May 16, 2015 Share Posted May 16, 2015 That happens unfortunately. That's one of the things about dating, you are getting to know each other. And one person can be thinking it's all going great while the other person is thinking, "Welll, I'm really on the fence here, but let's give it a few dates. Um, nope, not gonna happen." All you can do is be thankful she was straight up with you and didn't string you along until someone else came along. And then move forward and keep dating. And yes, it's frustrating and it stings, but sometimes it just doesn't work out. Link to comment
happpybear Posted May 16, 2015 Share Posted May 16, 2015 Sorry dude, but I'm inclined to think that the sex may have changed her mind Link to comment
catfeeder Posted May 17, 2015 Share Posted May 17, 2015 Often a marathon date can work against you. Too much, too soon. It's fun while it lasts, but there's no room to breathe and process. It can get to feeling suffocating, and that can snuff out any good feelings that lead you both there. Nobody's 'fault,' because it takes two to keep it going on..and on..and on... but the outcome can be less that enthusiastic for one or both. We all live and learn. Link to comment
Ms Darcy Posted May 17, 2015 Share Posted May 17, 2015 Sorry dude, but I'm inclined to think that the sex may have changed her mind] So am I. Link to comment
Sportster2005 Posted May 17, 2015 Share Posted May 17, 2015 ] So am I. It was so good it left her exhausted and dehydrated. Remember, just because situation B follows situation A, that doesn't mean situation caused situation B. Give a guy a break. Link to comment
catfeeder Posted May 17, 2015 Share Posted May 17, 2015 It was so good it left her exhausted and dehydrated. Remember, just because situation B follows situation A, that doesn't mean situation caused situation B. Give a guy a break. I agree. The sex was good, or why stick around to keep having more of it? But I think that's all that was in it for her. She didn't need to give an explanation at all, but she raised lackluster conversation--so I'd pay attention to that. She liked the cuddling, watching movies and sleeping together enough to keep doing that, but when it came down to speaking with one another, she didn't feel a spark there. It doesn't sound like a big mystery. Link to comment
jennylove Posted May 17, 2015 Share Posted May 17, 2015 Go NC and watch her crawl back. I give her 2 weeks. Anyway, Is there anything that you may have unintentionally said or done that made her feel like you aren't into her? I'm thinking maybe this is a case of her dumping you, before you dump her. It's so odd. Link to comment
rich1 Posted May 17, 2015 Author Share Posted May 17, 2015 Go NC and watch her crawl back. I give her 2 weeks. Anyway, Is there anything that you may have unintentionally said or done that made her feel like you aren't into her? I'm thinking maybe this is a case of her dumping you, before you dump her. It's so odd. NC is the plan, though I wouldn't hold out hope of her coming back. No I complimented her all of the time, if anything at one point I even asked if I was scaring her off by telling her I liked her - she said no but that she is rubbish with her emotions, and not to be offended if I don't hear it back. She said she felt terrible etc etc breaking it off because I'm such a nice guy...annoying, but just one of those things I'm afraid! Link to comment
rich1 Posted May 17, 2015 Author Share Posted May 17, 2015 I forgot to mention the strangest thing about the timing of it all, was that I messaged her when I got home, pointing out that I apologise way too much, I told her it was probably nerves. "why are you nervous?" "I like you and I don't want to mess it up" "aww your're good looking and lovely you couldn't mess it up if you tried!" then literally 30 seconds later: "having said that we don't have much in common" hahaha! you can't mess it up! aaaah it's messed up Link to comment
jennylove Posted May 17, 2015 Share Posted May 17, 2015 Weird. Very weird. You're better off without her. Link to comment
rich1 Posted May 17, 2015 Author Share Posted May 17, 2015 Weird indeed. I'd understand if she felt the way she did about the meal and made her excuses, but to come back to mine, make jokey comments about the time it took for me to put my arm around her during the movie, and then for us to end up having sex...then to say she felt awkward during the meal... So confusing, I felt this one could have gone somewhere too Link to comment
HappyisMoho Posted May 18, 2015 Share Posted May 18, 2015 Was she on the rebound from a previous relationship by any chance? People can behave this way when they want the intimacy a relationship brings, but when it actually happens they realise it's not want they want or they're simply not ready! You had the date, it went well, you both ended up being very intimate considering the time frame together, then she pulls away pretty sharpish using your character as an out, which to be fair didn't stop her from jumping into bed with you...I think she would of been honest if she'd have said the old "It's not you it's me..." line in this case, because that's what I think is the problem here, not you. Link to comment
LoveSoDeep Posted May 18, 2015 Share Posted May 18, 2015 I think I've doesn't his before....not after jumping in the sack so early but after a few dates that probably seemed great to the guy. I was giving him the benefit of the doubt there wasn't anything about him that was so horrible I wanted to run away screaming...it just wasn't there. She probably does think you're a good guy and someone else will be happy to have you, but there's no reason for her to stick around when she knows it won;t go anywhere. You're lucky. All too often us women just get the "slow fade" with no real explanation....at least she gave you some closure. Link to comment
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