PaintWithLight Posted May 11, 2015 Share Posted May 11, 2015 1st month we met 7 times. 2nd month: 6 3nd month: 5 4th month: 4 5th month: 3 6th month: 1, he cancelled the 2nd date. I please him on or off the bed, we have common interests, I respect him and he knows. You mentioned the bed and that is the whole equation. He has you down to a booty call rotation. Have the two of you actually discussed if you are in an exclusive relationship or have you just been responding to his overtures and hoping that the magic happens? Giving a guy attention, love and sex is not a guarantee that he will view you as a girlfriend. Indicating that you have common interests is another shot in the dark. The number one common interest is that you have been giving him sex without the framework of a relationship. He can call you when he wants, put you on the shelf if he has something more interesting happening. You are trying to sugar coat him into loving you. Link to comment
toolovehim Posted May 11, 2015 Author Share Posted May 11, 2015 Will it work? Make him like me? Link to comment
toolovehim Posted May 11, 2015 Author Share Posted May 11, 2015 We talked and he didn't give me clear answer. But we both don't have any others as I know at the last date I was there. I do try to make the magic happen. I do try hard on the bed games and he likes. Any other way I could try? Link to comment
toolovehim Posted May 11, 2015 Author Share Posted May 11, 2015 Good news: I text him back and he said he has no other girl. Link to comment
toolovehim Posted May 11, 2015 Author Share Posted May 11, 2015 You meant what he said? Link to comment
toolovehim Posted May 11, 2015 Author Share Posted May 11, 2015 I have no proof. Last time when I was in his place, I didn't see other girl's stuff, of course I don't dig others stuff even him. Link to comment
reinventmyself Posted May 11, 2015 Share Posted May 11, 2015 I have no proof. Last time when I was in his place, I didn't see other girl's stuff, of course I don't dig others stuff even him. But you said this earlier ""His place does seem to have other girl's stuff when the last time I was there"" Link to comment
toolovehim Posted May 11, 2015 Author Share Posted May 11, 2015 Lol, I have learned a lot since that day and I am aware of those mistakes, from this point of view, I thank him for the lesson. His place does seem to have other girl's stuff when the last time I was there. doesn't seem It was typing error, I couldn't change the original one, so I post it a few ones down. Link to comment
toolovehim Posted May 15, 2015 Author Share Posted May 15, 2015 Now this week, he text me twice and I initial the text once. He started to asked when I will have my day off. We'll see. NC(half NC, because I responded to his text) from my side, has helped me to calm down, look back what I have been doing, what I want in a relationship, how did it start between him and me, what is my motivation and his, why did the things go down to hill, what kind of person he is, and is there a future.... Now he is not the center of my life anymore, and I have taken the power back, at least I know how to heal myself, but I still need the time and space to think about it.....what I am going to do next.... Link to comment
toolovehim Posted May 18, 2015 Author Share Posted May 18, 2015 No sign of meeting date, I did everything I could to save it, but maybe it never meant to be. Let the healing really begins.....let the kite fly high, fly away..... Link to comment
HeartGoesOn Posted May 18, 2015 Share Posted May 18, 2015 Better yet, let him fly away. I think it would be helpful if you took the time to recognize your self worth, and raise your standards. This guy is toying with you, and I find it painful to read a thread of this sort. You can do better... Link to comment
No1 Posted May 18, 2015 Share Posted May 18, 2015 This guy doesn't like you in the same way you like him. He makes you feel good and that's probably why you 'love' him. Reality is that he doesn't see you as GF material. And about the "no other girl" text.. he has other girls, he told you what you wanted to hear, that way he avoided a long discussion. You cant make a guy like you. Just cant be done..He has had 7 months to make that leap and he hasn't taken it. Link to comment
toolovehim Posted May 22, 2015 Author Share Posted May 22, 2015 Thanks for comfort! I tried to keep myself in the right track, it is hard to not to take the false hope signal. Like I said, it is easy for me if he could dumped me completely, rather than I don't respond to him. I am kind of weak, lamb. Link to comment
toolovehim Posted May 22, 2015 Author Share Posted May 22, 2015 Thanks NO1 for all the advice! I am tring and learning to let him out of my heart. Link to comment
toolovehim Posted May 22, 2015 Author Share Posted May 22, 2015 For the past 2 weeks, except last Sat and Sun when he was off, he has text me everyday, and talked more than ever. One day he told me he went to where and planned to do what next, never happed before, I was flatted. He started to talk about meeting again, said he missed me, thank me for the past months being with him and he had good time, he wanted to see me again and have s** with me. I responded to him friendly, later on a bit of lovely. I gave him positive singnal of meet up again, but not the having s** part. He hasn't said a date. I found the longer I don't see him, the easier for me to distance him. And I tried to remind myself what he really wants. Deep inside, I still hope he would miss me as a person, hope he wants a connection with me in the heart, hope he has feeling of me, hope he really wants the s** with me only. I will post update here, maybe one day when I can look it back calmly, I could see it clearer, see what I am doing now, learned from it and grow as a person. The past 2 weeks, all I can said it is confussed, so confussed. You can see there is hope, but you kind of wonder it seems false hope. Even now I have read so many tips on dating, learn to identify what it is real, but it still comes down to the person, that she has to have the strength to admit it, to say no, to walk a way, to cut him off. I am so lamb. There is the fire, I am not sure if I could run away on time. Do I want to run away? Can I do it? Link to comment
toolovehim Posted May 22, 2015 Author Share Posted May 22, 2015 And he has asking if I start to see anyone, because maybe I seem acting strange to him. In the past, if he wanted to meet, I would suggested a date. Now I don't do it anymore. He again said that he has none, for the past a few weeks, he said he was really sick and had a car accident. I don't know and I know everyone would say I am stupid, but honestly I really want to be there for him when he has a hard time, even just being friends, I am so stupid. Link to comment
toolovehim Posted May 22, 2015 Author Share Posted May 22, 2015 Now he is not the center of my life anymore, and I have taken the power back, at least I know how to heal myself, but I still need the time and space to think about it.....what I am going to do next.... I am lying here. He si still the centre of my mind, my life. I am trying to take the power back, not yet. But I function so much better than the first 4 weeks. I am still learning why I am so attracted to him, and I found one of my weakness which also plays role on my working performance, I could have done better if I could overcome it. If I could, then I can achive more at work. I like to put more energy at work than thinking about him everyday stupidly. Maybe he meants to be a lesson for me, I hope I can past the test this time, better to get a mark of 100. Link to comment
toolovehim Posted May 25, 2015 Author Share Posted May 25, 2015 Finally, I start to think it is over, he doesn't like me. Took me full 6 weeks to come to this step. Link to comment
toolovehim Posted May 26, 2015 Author Share Posted May 26, 2015 First time I don't reply his text. I am not sure what he really means, and why, I am so confused and not sure if there is a hope or not. If you don't like me, please let me go; if you could like me, I have been waiting for you and I can wait for you.... Link to comment
No1 Posted May 26, 2015 Share Posted May 26, 2015 He wants you only for his pleasure, not yours. You deserve better. If he wanted to make you his, he would of done it by now. Is he your first? Did he say all those sweet things then ask to meet up for you for sex? What he was doing is pushing all of your soft spots to soften you up.. Link to comment
toolovehim Posted May 27, 2015 Author Share Posted May 27, 2015 Drop everything, and to face the truth now, it is very difficult to say anything at this time. Thanks a lot for many of you, lend your hands to me and try to pull me out! I will come back when I calm down a bit. Link to comment
toolovehim Posted May 27, 2015 Author Share Posted May 27, 2015 I come here everyday, read over and over again what everyone said, to straighten myself. Link to comment
No1 Posted May 27, 2015 Share Posted May 27, 2015 No one said it was easy, its way easier said than done. Everyone here who suggests that knows that. Its hard to admit loss. No one likes to go thru it. The good thing is that you deserve someone who is willing to give you the attention, the affection you want. This guy is just not the one for you. You are in love with the idea of who he is. When he is with you, you love it because he makes you feel good.. What about the other 29 days of the month? I understand where you are at. But also know that its the idea that you are in love with and not him. Once you decide he is not the one for you, you will free yourself and then make room in your heart for someone worthy of the space. Link to comment
PaintWithLight Posted May 27, 2015 Share Posted May 27, 2015 I come here everyday, read over and over again what everyone said, to straighten myself. He has been very clear with you. He misses you and wants to get together again so he can have sex with you. Ouch. Do not meet up with him. You have false hopes that he will try and use against you. Cut contact and focus on a new future. Link to comment
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